MOOLOO'S continuing saga Part 4

Errata

It's good to see you enjoyed your holiday and managed to fit in lots of fun things to do, but a shame that you had to come back to all the problems with DS. I've been following your threads for quite some years now, and DS has always seemed to me to be in one kind of pickle or another and from what you write has difficulty in 'cottoning on' to the consequences of his actions. It makes me wonder if he also has a degree of learning difficulty.

Brighton_belle

I would have thought the issue of the £150 mobile phone bill is strictly between father and son. Refuse to get sucked into that one.
As your ex DH has appeared previously to not father his son financially, emotionally or supportively in any way to help teach him pride in self sufficency, care for others and a work ethic, as he grew up, I have no sympathy for his 'father' what so ever, but plenty for you mooloo who has had and still has too much cope with by yourself.
So glad you had a good holiday.

carolan78

I think he borrowed the mobile from his stepdad not his dad.

I'm pleased you had a lovely holiday, I hope your son feels your wraith though. I had hoped for your sake he had matured but he doesn't seem to have. Tough love may well be needed because at the moment he seems to have no idea what the real world is like without Mum to fall back on.

Savvy_sewing

yes it was the Stepdad. He lent the phone which was the last month of his contract as he had another one. DS was only supposed to use it for a week, until I got back from Devon, but he continued to use it up until the 6th June. But he didnt stick to the minutes/text package and over ran.
DS has been spoken too.
He will be getting a further talk, when I have worked out exactly what I expect from him, rationally, and I will draw up a contract for him to sign. Then he cannot say that he didnt know what was expected of him.
He was dyagnosed with dyslexia. But as far as i know there was nothing in his behaviour, or growing up that was any bother. Infact until he was about 13 he was a perfect little boy really. Bright enough to be on the school chess club etc. He was liked by all, and even when we had the pub the customers all had time for him! God knows what changed. Something did.
He is just oblivious to whats going on around him, or that his actions are having an effect on me.
I told him again over dinner, quietly that I was not thrilled with the fact that he has arranged to go and do someones garden tomorrow, but he didnt do mine. I also told him that I would not be doing a special trip to take him to town. I have suggested that I drop him off when I am going over after lunch tomorrow. That he can stay at his sisters, get the bus into town to sign on the next day, and I will bring him back, if he meets me in town after my councilling. That way he will be here to do work for me Wednesday afternoon, and Thursday, then I will take him to work on Friday as usual. He has to use his money from gardening to get the bus.
His JSA was in the bank. So I have only allowed him to have £50 of it. I kept the rest for his debts.

The supervisor for EDF rang me back around 3pm. They have listened to the tape and said that although the rep said that there was a charge he only said if it was for a change of Supplier, not of supply, so that is a fault of theirs and they will refund me the full amount.
Thankgoodness for that. I told her I wanted it back in a cheque and not credited to my account, as I was already still in credit, and they have a DD to take money out each month. So she has agreed that they will do that.
I am up in bed now. Tired out.
I cut the lawn this afternoon, which took me 2 hours. I wanted to be in the garden and just made DS move the furniture around, the trampoline etc etc when I got to the parts they were at.
I then politely told him, that if his mother can do the whole garden in 2 hours, then I do not see why he or his sister cannot do it too.
Now that it is the length that I want it all over, and not in sections, it will be easier to maintain, if done every week.
He will be doing it, but he doesnt really quite realise that at the moment.
I managed to smack myself in the face on the cheekbone with the handle when emptying the grass bucket! Twit I am. I have really given myself a whack. Its aching now. Dispite shoving a cold wet flannel on it immediately. Least with the painkillers I am on, I am not feeling it as much as maybe I might, but I can still feel it. Then I just went and walked into the door jamb coming up the stairs and knocked my shoulder. What am I like?
Time to do some catch up TV on the Iplayer.

MatyMoo

sounds to me like you are tired Mooloo - I get clumsy when tired :rotfl:

Glad you had a good holiday but is there a shaking head smiley for DS :mad: So disappointed for you.

Savvy_sewing

Yes I am tired. Still tired today as well.
I have spent an hour in the garden doing a bit of weeding, and cutting the patch of grass that is over a foot tall with my kitchen scissors as the strimmer is not here. (DS left at his mates! grrr).
But it was actually easier for me to do that then weild a strimmer, one hand needed and not two for a start.
I am now off for a massage. Well needed, cost or not.
Nothing new on the financial side today. Makes a change. The credit card bill is in, but i expected that anyway. Been monitoring it all the time anyway.
The washing is caught up at last. Now to hope that it stays dry to get it dry.
Ironing will have to wait a bit.
DS has surfaced I think? But I havent seen him. No surprise there.

oystercatcher

Sorry to butt in after a long silence but I am concerned at DS's constant mistakes etc. It seems to me that having spent so much time with his sisters he has 'learned' that it is OK to not bother, forget things, not consider others. I think perhaps you need to sit him down for a good talk and remind him that there is a reason the twins need extra support and that he is NOT disabled , you expect so much more from him and it is NOT acceptable to be acting in such a selfish way.

Remember to boost him up by thanking for the help he does give so this isn't all negative. However He should be sorting his own money and transport out and HE should be making sure you have your strimmer back ASAP (without you transporting him). He is an adult now and needs to behave like one.

Love and hugs to both you and Molly though
XX

Molly41

Love and hugs back Oystercatcher. Im still with you in Dizzyland but hope you are doing ok x

oystercatcher

Hello Molly, I am OK, still dizzy and fed up. Like Mooloo I concentrate on sewing when I can but haven't had much success selling beyond the family

Brighton_belle

I'm sorry to hear DS has dyslexia. I think this may be the root of some of him problems and will be a real handicap for him in organising his life: dyslexia is of course far more than issues with reading. It affect the abilty to organise and plan ahead and sometimes follow instructions or do things in the 'obvious' way.
It has probably affected his self esteem enormously too.