MOOLOO'S continuing saga Part 4

Savvy_sewing

Well I dont know how I did it, but for some reason I started to blitz in the bathroom, rearranged it all, cleaned things, changed things and threw out other things. It now looks very different and thats before I have even painted it. (I will hope to have a go at that on Monday when DGD is in Nursery).
I dont know where the energy came from,? But I worked until 9.30. then I went for a lovely soak in a bubbly bath, with scented candles around me, and a book. Bliss.
I was in bed by 10.30. Although I have been awake since just before 6 and was up 3 times inbetween.
Biggest rang around 8am to say the plans to go to Wellsbourne? was not happening. So I do not have the opportunity to carry on decorating today.
I do not intend to run around getting the kids in to help as that would mean it would cost me for meals and probably a drink in the pub for my son and his mate. So I would rather just potter at home.
DGD has her "den" built behind the sofa, and then goes and sits outside of it on the floor, playing with her playdough.!

BF is a bit bitter about my decisions. I dont blame him. I have gone and left him again, by email, and not by talking. Well I would have talked to him if he had availed himself to spare me the time to talk.
It was just a never ending sprial of differences, and talking to my councillor I realised that it was just not going to be that end of the tunnel happening.
On the plus it means that i dont have to dance to anyone elses tune but what I want to do, taking DGD into consideration.
The washing is on. I am hoping to get some out on the line, although it has gone from lovely sunshine at 7 ish to dull clouds now. So maybe I will not get that.
I also noticed yesterday that the cupboards in the kitchen are starting to overflow with junk, and foods that have lurked at the back of the cupboards for far too long. So somewhere I hope that i can find last nights energy and get to clear at least one of the cupboards. We will see. I have a weekend ahead of me, with DGD to care for and no sleep ins etc so I must pace myself. mmmm

Eager_Elephant

Mooloo, I am so sorry things have not worked out with your BF. I am glad you have managed to make the decision this time and with being able to talk it through with your counsellor it must be a big help.

I am sure there is someone out there for you who is in a similar situation or understands illness and family as well.

Hope you manage to start sorting your kitchen, I have started the spring clean (well we have our rental inspection in 2 weeks!!)so I have done about 5 cupboards so far and am just stopping for lunch.

((mooloo))

Savvy_sewing

Well I managed to clear out the two biggest cupboards, and swapped them around. So that hopefully, the food will not be so close to the back wall where I get the most mould. A binbag full of things either out of date, or ruined in the bin, including my old electric frying pan and a griddle pan, both ruined by the mould.
I managed all the washing, but its not all dry of course. The wettest is on the airer, the rest is in a basket, and I will have to just put it out tomorrow, or fill the radiators.

This afternoon DGD and I went for a stroll around the lakes. Very pleasant, but I am of course worn to a frazzle now, with my aches and pains.

I refused to take Twin2 to some work that she has tomorrow at the racecourse. Feel guilty, but I am not going to be running around after them then she shouldnt have left it until this afternoon to ask me.
I really dont want to be up and out the door before 8am on a Sunday for a start.
I know I will probably be awake by DGD as she always wakes me and comes in. (Now that BF is not around she will not stay in her room. So we are still working on that one Sue!). But it doesnt mean that I have to get up and around early.
DGD seems quiet tired today. All that fresh air. Lets hope that she goes to sleep reasonably well this evening.

I really enjoyed my relaxing bath yesterday, and may go and have another one tonight! I have enough smellies to use.
(and while I decide if I am going to apply for that water meter or not. )
Molly's daughter is now ill with the bug, dispite staying away when i was ill. So we are praying that Molly herself doesnt get it. I am worried she will go down the plug hole with the water when she has a shower!, she has lost so much weight.

Re BF. I am resigned I suppose. Seems strange still, and all that but we have now cut communication, his request. But I was thinking that it was probably the best thing anyway.

Looks like tomorrow I will have to finish the kitchen cupboards. 4 more to do. I am not planning anything else. I will see how I feel of course. Usually if I have overdone it I will suffer the day after, and as my shoulders are already stiff, I best not have another urge tonight.

Molly41

Dont worry - hopefully I will avoid it as I donned surgical mask and gloves and implemented barrier nursing - it all came back to me from my training. Fingers crossed x

minimoneysaver

I can't believe it! Not again with your BF or is that ex BF now? Would it not be better to remain friends? It seems that you both bring something positive to each others lives, but the 'relationship' gets in the way of that. x

Savvy_sewing

No its my family that got in the way, and my granddaughter.
When we were on our own it was fine.
alas that is not going to be the real world.
I just got fed up of living with one foot in one world and one in the other.
I love him, he infuriates me, I want the dream, I am not good for him either.
If we cannot talk but only communicate by text, email or touch, its not enough. Its not his fault. he is not a bad man.
Its just that I have an unusual family life, and nobody has managed to stay with me. I try too hard to keep my family together. Alas if I want a relationship, then I will have to find someone who can take my lot. That is not going to happen.
I wish for different. But I cannot keep one foot in one world and one in the other.
Its not fair on him, its not fair on me. We alas were going nowhere.
so I decided that the yoyo had to stop. But I am sad. I am not happy about it. But talking to my councillor my problems were complex. However I found myself more and more frustrated with my relationship.
I wish that BF would have tried to fight for our relationship, come knocking on the door and declaired his love for me. But he never has and never will.
He is a good man, but quiet, reserved and will not talk, and as you know me, I speak it as I see it, there and then. I am a what you see is what you get person. When I have to stiffle that, I am nno good.
We have not argued, we havent even seen each other for a couple of weeks. I just realised that when I tried to talk it just didnt happen.
I am sad. But also I am resigned to the fact that there is only so many times that a yoyo will go up and down its string. We have both tried for near as dam 8 years.
Now I am tired, and ready for my bed. Was watching Law & order on Tv, after a lovely soak in the bath. so much more relaxing after I have changed it all around. Tomorrow is another day close to home, with no running around after the family. (cos i said NO to twin2 to be her taxi driver). Hopefully I will carry on with my spring cleaning.
Time for bed, night.

queen_of_string

Delurks

I dont think that it's a coincidence that you make a positive decision for yourself and at the same time, get a big chunk of energy back to use as you see fit and for your own good. I am excited to see how much energy you can regain and pain you can loose as you continue to grow stronger and more used to making decisions that are the best for you.

Enjoy your lovely, good as new, bathroom!

x

floss2

Mooloo, I still feel that the housing association should be sorting out that mould... I will do a bit of research and p.m. you tomorrow.

Savvy_sewing

Well DGD is unwell today.
she woke with a temperature. Of course I cannot find the dam thermometer, but bright red cheeks speak for themselves and she is hot to the touch. I am going to have to go out and get some calpol as none left. Bad organisation. Left the last lot at her mums.
Alas being a "single parent" means that I am going to have to wrap her up and take her with me. Molly's daughter is ill so cannot help today. She sucumbed to the bug yesterday.

Bit achey today, and only done a few form filling and hanging out of the washing again. Hopefully with the beautiful sunshine it will be dry today.
It looks glorious out there, its a pity DGD is not well, or we would be out in the garden.
Always tell when she is unwell, as she is quiet, and lethargic, and not the running around whirling dirlish that she usually is.
Trying to do a bit of ironing while I am able, but I have to stop after a couple of things, to rest.

It will be good if I can get my energies back, and that the pain is controlled. Taking back my life and doing what is best for DGD and myself will be different, and difficult to do, but its a must. I have to get as fit as I can with my condition, and be able to continue to bring DGD up for the next 15 years or so. Retirement age.
Right I better get her ready to go and get some calpol.

Savvy_sewing

Well DGD is picking up now that she has had some paracetamol in her. Bless her she is quiet, and just not herself at all. Somehow I managed to end up spending £22 in Tesco! We both ended up with a magazine, I bought 4 boxes of cereal and 3 milks, with the medicine and thats my money gone! I really will have to stop impulse buying.

Its been such a glorious day, sat on the swing in the garden with DGD beside me, and just relaxed. The washing is all dry, and now in. Been chatting to the neighbours across the fence. They are off on Wednesday, if the sale goes through properly. They have been good neighbours, I hope the new ones are also going to be good ones.
My shoulders are a bit achey, but the rest of me is quite good, which is a relief.
Not sure that DGD will be off to Nursery tomorrow or not now. But I hope that she is OK for Tuesday or I will be in a pickle.

Dinner is mince and pasta. DGD's favourites. I hope that she will be tempted to eat. Although she has had some cereal this afternoon.