Partners attitude to money

belfastgirl23

I never think telling someone what they have to do helps.

Could you have a proper talk about your future and how you see it? I think it's fair enough for her to want a new kitchen for example but then you need to both agree a timescale within which this is possible given your current circumstances and a budget to cover it. You could also point out that if you were able to reduce your current spending this would bring the new kitchen date significantly closer. I know with my DH (who is also a person who resents watching the pennies) pointing out that money you overspend on groceries is money you can't spend on holidays really helps. Holidays being something he's very fond of

But TBH in taking away credit cards etc all you are likely to do is build resentment and encourage her to sneakily build debt on her own, we've seen plenty of people in this position on these boards.

Peater

She needs telling that budgeting is not an 'opt-out' exercise.

Its just plain irresponsible!

property.advert

The OP needs to grow a set and pick up a backbone whilst he is at it.

!!!!!! just remove her access to money.

mishkanorman

Is it the case that you have been struggling for years and now she can see a substantial amount of money coming in she would like to improve your lives whilst you can ?

I have conversations like yours with my OH, we could do with a new kitchen as ours is small, a garage conversion would be lovely and if our income suddenly shot up I would be dreaming of some of those things too.

Perhaps she views the debt as something that can wait whilst you live a little !

Another thing I noticed is that your outgoings are quite hefty, is that including a provision for the debt or could you give her a spending budget by cutting out other things ? (If you want x then we have to get rid of sky/downgrade the car/ stop the take aways etc)

scheming_gypsy

[quote=[Deleted User];discussion/3703457]About a year ago we did have credit card debts of about £25K but its down to about £10K now. I now work as an IT contractor and money is very good but its temporary.

[/QUOTE]

That's the main part that people fail on. I'm an IT contractor as well, although not raking it in like you People just see I'm bringing in their monthly wage in two weeks and struggle to understand that you have to squirrel it all away for the x months where you could be out of contract.

It sounds like she's not going to realise what needs to be done till you're out of contract again, and don't have as much 'disposable' income.

[Deleted User]

Padstow wrote: »

What happened to the Botox business? November was a record month.

Really. Its been a bit quiet for us.

[Deleted User]

scheming_gypsy wrote: »

That's the main part that people fail on. I'm an IT contractor as well, although not raking it in like you People just see I'm bringing in their monthly wage in two weeks and struggle to understand that you have to squirrel it all away for the x months where you could be out of contract.

It sounds like she's not going to realise what needs to be done till you're out of contract again, and don't have as much 'disposable' income.

LOL. I thought my rate was pretty average to be honest. I know people who get double what I do.

Yes, needing to put money away is the big thing.

go_cat

I would show her this thread and see what she has to say

Lotus-eater

[quote=[Deleted User];49841753]
Yes, she does have ideas to spend money and without me she probably would be in serious financial trouble if left to her own devices. But, she doesn't go and just spend it. Ultimately, I guess its up to me to decide if we can afford it.
[/QUOTE]
So what's your problem then?

All this and she doesn't spend it without talking to you anyway?

I agree with someone else, grow some.

[Deleted User]

Lotus-eater wrote: »

So what's your problem then?

All this and she doesn't spend it without talking to you anyway?

I agree with someone else, grow some.

Bet if I did a search 'grow some' would your standard answer to most people on this forum.