Partners attitude to money

dobs

I agree that if it were me i'd open a savings account in my own name. I actually have an online one linked to our current account but it's in my name only, do you have a date when your temporary job runs out? I'd be putting as much as i could away in savings so you have enough money to live on when your job finishes, in case you have a period waiting for another one. It sounds like your wife sees all the income as disposable and there to be spent where really after the bills what you are left with needs to go on paying the debts and saving what you can - i admit i used to be bad with money but since taking over checking the bank accounts it has really helped me and now its me nagging at hubby evertime i see he's withdrawn cash at work to get a takeaway when he could just eat when he gets home!

Yorkie1

The difficulty with just changing the banking arrangements without having the discussion too, is that her spending may simply continue in the same way, leading to possible overdraft charges or bounced cheques if the balance in the original account is much lower, or continued high spending on a credit card which still has to be paid off subsequently.

The means of spending needs to be tackled as well as where the OP puts the money.

Carl31

Lol this isnt the first time ive heard this situation

My oh had mega debts when i met her, compared to her income. I made plans to clear it. In the end i took her bank cards and control of her money, this followed warnings.

Shes better now, but still has the odd slip up. I just have to have words each time, as much as i hate it

ContinentalDrift

Hi paulfoel

I don't really have any constructive advice, but am sending you my best wishes, and hope you manage to work things out.

My X was terrible. Even when I was out of contract, he would rack up huge bills on ebay, whilst refusing to look for a job (was made redundant).

Hope you find a solution

FBaby

COuld your wife be a bit on the spoilt side.... spoilt that she can have a decent lifestyle without ever having to worry about how it is financed? Spoilt in that she believes that luxuries are essentials, spoilt that life is about spending spending spending?

I don't mean to be rude, but I've seen this behaviour, and it leaves me annoyed. The other day, we had a colleague who went on and on because her husband said they couldn't afford to move out to a bigger house. They have a 4 bedroom detached in a very nice area, only the two of them as children have moved out, but she said she 'needed' a garage because it wasn't fair on her that she had to sratch the car windows in the mornings when it is cold and it is the reason why she ends up late and gets into trouble...no one dared telling her what everyone was thinking... she was just so serious saying it all, it was sureal...

Judith_W

Have you worked out 1. what she spends every month, 2. how much you would rather she spent - i.e. how much she is overspending.

I would certainly be changing where your money goes so the joint account is only used for available spends rather than all funds incl money towards credit cards.

Would it work if you told her all her income is to be used for groceries and the rest is for spends/saving up for a new kitchen (maybe you match whatever she saves once out of debt). That way if she wants to spend more she will have to learn to cut back on groceries - bulk cooking, downshifting brands etc.

Also, do you have kids?

**Patty**

I think i'd be telling her that after 20 years it's about time she DID take an interest.

Would she even know where to look if you dropped dead tomorrow?

(God forbid....that won't happen but it took my OH's lung to collapse before i realised he HAD to know what to do.....If for no other reason that to keep our roof over our childrens heads)

Padstow

What happened to the Botox business? November was a record month.

shirlgirl2004

I assume, as you are a contractor, out of that 5k you have to put money aside for tax? I would be setting this money aside on pay day.

I'd cut up any credit cards she has in her posession (or at least take them away).

Take from the bank account how much you think you can pay off your debt as soon as you are paid. If the money isn't in the account and she doesn't have credit cards then she can't spend it.

She's an adult and if you've been together 20 years she's not so young as to have no idea about money. My 22 year old son is more financially savvy than your wife. Women (including me) like to spend but maybe you need to show her the MSE way to do it. Ask her to write down everything she spends and you do the same. Then add up the spending and extrapolate it for the year. Hopefully it will give her a wake up call.

londonsurrey

5k is probably after tax for a contractor.