New mum....failing :(

CH27

It really upsets me that new mums are put under such pressure to BF.
Not everyone can do it & to make someone feels so bad about providing good nourishment from a bottle is wicked in my opinion.

OP you are an amazing mum. Keep bottle feeding, get sleeping & most importantly just love your baby & yourself.

jha

CH27 wrote: »

It really upsets me that new mums are put under such pressure to BF.
Not everyone can do it & to make someone feels so bad about providing good nourishment from a bottle is wicked in my opinion.

OP you are an amazing mum. Keep bottle feeding, get sleeping & most importantly just love your baby & yourself.

great advice!

janninew

Gillyx wrote: »

Jannine! Was just thinking about you the other day, hope little Poppy (hope I've remembered that properly) is doing well and you all had a lovely time over Christmas & NY. Keeping my fingers crossed she will be out of SCBU soon xx

Thanks Gillyx!
Yes its little Poppy, she is doing well, she was 2lb at birth, but now weighs 3lb 3oz! She is getting stronger everyday and I can't wait to get her home with us! It has been difficult at times, Christmas Day was hard and there have been lots of tears, but I know it will be worth it! I hope your pregnancy is progressing well and you have a safe and quick labour!!

Gillyx

janninew wrote: »

Thanks Gillyx!
Yes its little Poppy, she is doing well, she was 2lb at birth, but now weighs 3lb 3oz! She is getting stronger everyday and I can't wait to get her home with us! It has been difficult at times, Christmas Day was hard and there have been lots of tears, but I know it will be worth it! I hope your pregnancy is progressing well and you have a safe and quick labour!!

At least you know she is in the best place for her and is getting the best possible care. Wow she's doing really well with weight Have they told you when you can expect her home? Is it around her original due date?

I'm fine, starting to get impatient and bored though, he's a big boy I think, so starting to panic a bit about labour, but Jenjade had her baby on Christmas Day and she was 10lbs and she managed on gas and air only so it gives me hope

mumps

Hi, I think BF is always hard at the start, I have fed all my four. I always found the first few weeks painful, why did I persist? Well terminal bone idleness was one consideration, it is so much easier once you get it right. I became quite an expert at lifting baby into bed, latching them on and then sleeping. I know people will say that it wrong but I had a lovely Indian doctor who recommended it, he felt mothers in England had a hard time and why not do what women have been doing since the dawn of time. Another reason is I am phobic of people drinking from bottles, honestly I feel physically sick when people slurp out of those sports bottles. The final reason, important but not most important, is money saving, all the equipment plus the formula does cost.

My third was a C Section, I think it is incredibly hard to establish BF after a section, even as an experienced mom. From experience I would say, rest rest and rest again. Personally I think mother nature designed breast feeding to be very time consuming so that new moms would relax, well that theory suits me so I am sticking to it. I know lots of people have talked about pressure to breast feed but I think new moms are also expected to be back to normal straight after the birth. When I had my first it was normal to be in hospital for 8 days with a first baby, the Sister said all new moms should be treated like a queen for the first day. They brought meals to the bed, took the baby to give us a rest and helped with everything. For the rest of the week all we had to do was look after baby and walk to a table for food. Contrast to new moms now who seem to be expected to be back to normal almost immediately.Use and abuse the OH, you have been doing all the hard work (ie carrying baby) and now you are recovering from major surgery.

As I said earlier I breastfed all mine, one for a full three years but I have plenty of guilt. My first, very wise, midwife told me to always remember that a mothers place is in the wrong. How true and once you realise how true it is you can come to terms with guilt.

Good luck, I am sure you will look back at this and wonder why it was such a big deal.

Mupette

Ask your head to have a chat with your heart.

Brilliant news that baby has put on weight, hey i guess that means you are doing something right :T:T:T:T:T

meritaten

mumps wrote: »

Hi, I think BF is always hard at the start, I have fed all my four. I always found the first few weeks painful, why did I persist? Well terminal bone idleness was one consideration, it is so much easier once you get it right. I became quite an expert at lifting baby into bed, latching them on and then sleeping. I know people will say that it wrong but I had a lovely Indian doctor who recommended it, he felt mothers in England had a hard time and why not do what women have been doing since the dawn of time. Another reason is I am phobic of people drinking from bottles, honestly I feel physically sick when people slurp out of those sports bottles. The final reason, important but not most important, is money saving, all the equipment plus the formula does cost.

My third was a C Section, I think it is incredibly hard to establish BF after a section, even as an experienced mom. From experience I would say, rest rest and rest again. Personally I think mother nature designed breast feeding to be very time consuming so that new moms would relax, well that theory suits me so I am sticking to it. I know lots of people have talked about pressure to breast feed but I think new moms are also expected to be back to normal straight after the birth. When I had my first it was normal to be in hospital for 8 days with a first baby, the Sister said all new moms should be treated like a queen for the first day. They brought meals to the bed, took the baby to give us a rest and helped with everything. For the rest of the week all we had to do was look after baby and walk to a table for food. Contrast to new moms now who seem to be expected to be back to normal almost immediately.Use and abuse the OH, you have been doing all the hard work (ie carrying baby) and now you are recovering from major surgery.

As I said earlier I breastfed all mine, one for a full three years but I have plenty of guilt. My first, very wise, midwife told me to always remember that a mothers place is in the wrong. How true and once you realise how true it is you can come to terms with guilt.

Good luck, I am sure you will look back at this and wonder why it was such a big deal.

I so totally agree with this post!

I breast fed all three of mine with varying degrees of success! my first born I fed for about six weeks - then found my milk decreasing - the reason? I listened to the midwives and then the HVs and stuck to a strict fourhourly schedule! disaster! daughter wanted feeding more often that - so I felt a failure I couldnt keep her 'content' between feeds. gave in and bottle fed her.
I then found a book called 'Breast is Best' and it became my 'Bible' when I had No1 son. Who was difficult to say the least! I also had every breast problem known to woman! I had mastitis in one breast which meant that he could only feed on one side, and I had to discard ALL milk from the affected boob. despite that I fed him for three years (and yes I got all the 'un-natural' comments from HVs Nurses and it was my lovely GP who told me to carry on - and an A&E doctor who told me that women from his country looked down on british mums).
I fed my last baby until he was six months - but I got dangerously underwieght and my milk dried up - I HAD to put him on formula - unfortunately, he then developed asthma - and it took nearly ten YEARS before they diagnosed him with something I had always known - he was ALLERGIC to cows milk!
I always say - go with YOUR instinct! dont listen to current medical advice if you KNOW it to be wrong!
Breast feeding is only difficult if you try to follow RULES! yes it can be painful, unpleasant, and downright tiresome!
but, it also forces new mums to rest while feeding! it gives mums and babes a closeness you just DONT get when bottle feeding (sorry, but it is true - there is NOTHING like the feeling you get when feeding YOUR baby with YOUR milk).
new mums these days are expected to be up and about and returning to routine within days - they have just had an experience akin to major surgery! they need rest and recuperation! its almost as if they are expected to be like slaves - lie down, give birth and then return to work!

thatgirlsam

meritaten wrote: »

I so totally agree with this post!

I breast fed all three of mine with varying degrees of success! my first born I fed for about six weeks - then found my milk decreasing - the reason? I listened to the midwives and then the HVs and stuck to a strict fourhourly schedule! disaster! daughter wanted feeding more often that - so I felt a failure I couldnt keep her 'content' between feeds. gave in and bottle fed her.
I then found a book called 'Breast is Best' and it became my 'Bible' when I had No1 son. Who was difficult to say the least! I also had every breast problem known to woman! I had mastitis in one breast which meant that he could only feed on one side, and I had to discard ALL milk from the affected boob. despite that I fed him for three years (and yes I got all the 'un-natural' comments from HVs Nurses and it was my lovely GP who told me to carry on - and an A&E doctor who told me that women from his country looked down on british mums).
I fed my last baby until he was six months - but I got dangerously underwieght and my milk dried up - I HAD to put him on formula - unfortunately, he then developed asthma - and it took nearly ten YEARS before they diagnosed him with something I had always known - he was ALLERGIC to cows milk!
I always say - go with YOUR instinct! dont listen to current medical advice if you KNOW it to be wrong!
Breast feeding is only difficult if you try to follow RULES! yes it can be painful, unpleasant, and downright tiresome!
but, it also forces new mums to rest while feeding! it gives mums and babes a closeness you just DONT get when bottle feeding (sorry, but it is true - there is NOTHING like the feeling you get when feeding YOUR baby with YOUR milk).
new mums these days are expected to be up and about and returning to routine within days - they have just had an experience akin to major surgery! they need rest and recuperation! its almost as if they are expected to be like slaves - lie down, give birth and then return to work!

Not strictly true, breastfeeding can be difficult for all sorts of reasons, as the OP has demonstrated

saverram

Hi ,

I just want to say my son dint latch from the day one. so when i was in hospital then the midwifes gave him formula, he was crying all night. SO i was very stressed about my son feeding. when i came home , i started expressing , i used to express as much i get , i used to keep in the fridge , so my partner can feed the baby. So you can have rest for continous 4-5 hours if you can express timely .
I expressed in the above manner for 4 months, suddenly i thought i will check he will latch and from then he was breastfedding. So i breast feed him for an year. So just try to figure out what works for you . Dont stress yourself it will not help.

have a good time
Saverram

meritaten

thatgirlsam - hun, if breastfeeding was THAT difficult - how on earth do babies survive? It ISNT difficult for most of the worlds population - except western women. For most of the world it is as natural as breathing! Modern First world women seem to find it exceedingly difficult! why? well because doctors tell them so - so do the companies who make formula milk - and as for their assertions that its close to mothers milk - thats complete bollox! formula is made out of cows milk because its cows milk which is cheapest! they could make it out of donkeys milk or ewes milk - that is actually closest in form to human milk - but they dont!
women these days dont LISTEN to their bodies or their instincts! they are so used to 'professionals' telling them how they should feel, act or anything else - they listen to people who have no bluddy idea of the realities, just a lot of book learned theories - that wisdom from many centuries is being lost.