New mum....failing :(

meritaten

saverram wrote: »

Hi ,

I just want to say my son dint latch from the day one. so when i was in hospital then the midwifes gave him formula, he was crying all night. SO i was very stressed about my son feeding. when i came home , i started expressing , i used to express as much i get , i used to keep in the fridge , so my partner can feed the baby. So you can have rest for continous 4-5 hours if you can express timely .
I expressed in the above manner for 4 months, suddenly i thought i will check he will latch and from then he was breastfedding. So i breast feed him for an year. So just try to figure out what works for you . Dont stress yourself it will not help.

have a good time
Saverram

So hun, instead of trying to feed him you expressed for four months without seeing if he would 'latch on'? did no one tell you it can take days or weeks?

thatgirlsam

meritaten wrote: »

thatgirlsam - hun, if breastfeeding was THAT difficult - how on earth do babies survive? It ISNT difficult for most of the worlds population - except western women. For most of the world it is as natural as breathing! Modern First world women seem to find it exceedingly difficult! why? well because doctors tell them so - so do the companies who make formula milk - and as for their assertions that its close to mothers milk - thats complete bollox! formula is made out of cows milk because its cows milk which is cheapest! they could make it out of donkeys milk or ewes milk - that is actually closest in form to human milk - but they dont!
women these days dont LISTEN to their bodies or their instincts! they are so used to 'professionals' telling them how they should feel, act or anything else - they listen to people who have no bluddy idea of the realities, just a lot of book learned theories - that wisdom from many centuries is being lost.

I will beg to differ - I work in a maternity unit and breastfeeding is not always easy, for many different reasons

I really don't think its helpful to the OP to hear that breastfeeding is easy (in your opinion) and its something she should be able to do and would be able to do if the doctors hadn't told her it was difficult!

Thats the biggest load of baloney I have ever heard!

Mojisola

meritaten wrote: »

if breastfeeding was THAT difficult - how on earth do babies survive? It ISNT difficult for most of the worlds population - except western women. For most of the world it is as natural as breathing! Modern First world women seem to find it exceedingly difficult! why? well because doctors tell them so

In the past, a premature baby without a strong sucking ability wouldn't have survived!

Medical staff do quite the opposite of telling mothers that breast-feeding is difficult. That's why those who can't manage - whether it's a difficulty they have or the baby has - are made to feel so awful.

thatgirlsam

Mojisola wrote: »

In the past, a premature baby without a strong sucking ability wouldn't have survived!

Medical staff do quite the opposite of telling mothers that breast-feeding is difficult. That's why those who can't manage - whether it's a difficulty they have or the baby has - are made to feel so awful.

Hey you should have said SOME medical staff

I like to think I give good support to new mums whichever way they decide to feed

flowertotmum

Hi hun..hope your ok..you are not a failure at all...you are tired,emotional and hormonal..
All you need is sleep..and a clear head..
I have had 6 children and have another on the way..i came to terms with the fact that i couldn't breastfeed with my first baby now 25 by the way...i had no milk and my baby was hungry so formula it was. it happened again with all my others so this time i am not even going to try..but at some point no doubt i will feel guilt, but then i look at my other children and see how healthy they are and i won't feel so bad.
So you do what you need to do..get daddy to help out..please don't feel like that..you are wonderful and have given birth to a beautiful little baby and thats an achievement..be proud.
love
ftm

Mojisola

thatgirlsam wrote: »

Hey you should have said SOME medical staff

I like to think I give good support to new mums whichever way they decide to feed

Fair enough but you can see from the way new Mums talk that there is a lot of pressure to breast-feed.

I did feed mine. I found it came totally naturally and I loved doing it but, if I had experienced problems, I wouldn't have wanted to be made to feel a failure.

flowertotmum

Um if i can just say..that i was made to feel bad because i didn't BF..but only by one MW..the others were amazing and one told me it was the most sensible thing to do formula fee rather than torture myself by trying..so i think it depends on you and the MW and their attitude towards BF..
ftm

Mojisola

thatgirlsam wrote: »

I like to think I give good support to new mums whichever way they decide to feed

This is one of those swings of the pendulums. It isn't too long ago that mothers who wanted to breast-feed were made to feel like freaks. There was a lot of pressure to use the modern, scientifically controlled formulas.

It's just one of the pressures on new Mums who have to quickly learn to do what suits them and their baby. There are very few absolute "right" and "wrong" ways of raising children. Fashions change and the current advice is often just that - current and liable to change.

meritaten

So, why do mums find it so difficult to breastfeed? I have not said its easy! on the contrary - I have said I found it difficult on times.
It isnt easy - but it isnt that difficult that most mothers couldnt do it! to say otherwise is so stupid! it isnt a matter of science - its human instinct! which is being bred out of us! as human instinct is 'wrong' and 'science' especially medical science is all-knowing!
To say that breastfeeding is 'difficult' is to my mind so silly - humans have survived for thousands of years and before the last 75 years not many were bottle fed!
I would say to allow a woman to feed by instinct and that alone, would ensure the baby and mum survived and thrived - possibly annoys the medical profession no end! as they seem to think that having a baby is a medical procedure! not a natural event! and that mothers need 'medical' advice.
It was only when I ignored the current medical advice - that I learned to feed my baby properly - with No1 son.
with No2 son - formula nearly killed him - but doctors told me repeatedly that he 'couldnt' be allergic to formula. They were wrong.

JBD

meritaten wrote: »

So, why do mums find it so difficult to breastfeed? I have not said its easy! on the contrary - I have said I found it difficult on times.
It isnt easy - but it isnt that difficult that most mothers couldnt do it! to say otherwise is so stupid! it isnt a matter of science - its human instinct! which is being bred out of us! as human instinct is 'wrong' and 'science' especially medical science is all-knowing!
To say that breastfeeding is 'difficult' is to my mind so silly - humans have survived for thousands of years and before the last 75 years not many were bottle fed!
I would say to allow a woman to feed by instinct and that alone, would ensure the baby and mum survived and thrived - possibly annoys the medical profession no end! as they seem to think that having a baby is a medical procedure! not a natural event! and that mothers need 'medical' advice.
It was only when I ignored the current medical advice - that I learned to feed my baby properly - with No1 son.
with No2 son - formula nearly killed him - but doctors told me repeatedly that he 'couldnt' be allergic to formula. They were wrong.

Babies have been 'bottle fed', or fed substitutes [eg flour and water] for the mother's breastmilk well beyond 75 years ago. This idea that everyone used to sit round idylically breastfeeding their babies is rubbish. Rich women used to employ wet nurses, poor women used to feed their babies whatever was on hand, or farm their babies out. And in the wild it isn't uncommon for mothers to refuse to feed their young [especially the 1st born]. So no, breastfeeding isn't always a 'natural instinctive' process, many women do need help and thank goodness there is safe formula nowadays.