The Giving Up/ Cutting Down alcohol support thread - number 11

365days

gardenanna wrote: »

I wasn't AF last night and am really regreting it this morning:mad:. I'd been 15 days AF in a row and was feeling great - cheerful, energetic and the bells were getting fainter ad fainter. It's been a h*ll of a week though and my d-i-l is in a very bad way and taking it out on everyone close to her. She's a herion addict and heavy drinker and after she'd been very nasty again yesterday afternoon I came home and opened the wine. It helped at the time - a lot - but I feel sick and dizzy this morning and very sad that I did it:(.

I always thought I was aiming to cut down but I'm beginning to wonder if I'm happier not drinking at all. Crazymum - you said something about being free and I like that. This morning the first thing I thought about when I woke up was drink - how much did i have, will I drink tonight etc which was how it was every day and I'm thinking now it would be good to lose those chains. The hard bit is going to be tonight - I always want to drink the next day - send me some "Don't Do It Anna" vibes - pleeese

That's the trouble isn't it. Alcohol numbs everything which can be quite handy in times of stress. Unfortunately when the hangover wears off the problem is still there. It's a temporary fix.

I likened stopping drinking to 'taking the brakes off' removing that thing that slowed down my progress as a person.

I don't know if you can be a cutter downer. Only you an work that out. Last summer I got an allotment, on a new site. One hot summers evening we all put the fences up and it was a great night of team work and getting to know all the new people. One guy went to fetch a bottle of champagne. Now these people don't know me at all (do now) and I was offered a plastic cup with about 3 inches of bubbly in. I asked for a smaller one...just give me a cm. lol.

I took one sip, and instantly I knew that if i had another sip I would be downing the rest, buying wine on the way home, and back down the slippery slope. For me I have to stop. Full stop.

Once you get your head round that it's far easier than the shall I shan't I feelings of trying to cut down if really you need to stop.

Good Luck.

crazymum_2

Gardenanna (((hugs))) thankyou for sharing.... other peoples (DIL) problems are so much more difficult to deal with than your own because there's nothing really you can do about them....speaks a mum of teenagers
you remind me of me - that was always my first thought when i woke up - did I drink/ how much did I drink/ what happened/ I hate myself....again.
After 26 days AF I'm finally realising I'm not an insomniac - for the last couple of nights I've actually slept all the way through the night, it feels quite strange.
I always say the wrong things.....but thinking of you, be strong because you will be so much better equiped to deal with your life and the people in it if you're not drinking.
Keep going with your AF walk - pick yourself up, stand tall, keep going, be strong, feel beautiful
Feel the vibes girl feel the vibes

maman

:wave:

Lovely, supportive posts on here this morning.:A

It sounds like that change in medication was disastrous rachel. So glad to hear about the turnaround.

I've definitely found my stop button. Unsure whether to drink or not last night, had 2 glasses then left the third (not under the seat this time;)) then switched to a big mug of tea.

While I'm not telling anyone to stop/cut-down (that has to be a personal decision) I would say that the obsessive thinking about booze does go away after a while. You'll probably still get the odd day where bells ring (stressy times, wanting to join in etc) and you feel like a s*d it day but generally once I've planned which days are AF and which aren't then I just accept it. It did take a while though.

lizzyb1812

Gardenanna - Know what these are? <))))))))) yep, vibes. OK weak joke but will be thinking of you tonight and sending good luck wishes your way.

crazymum - 26 days before sleeping right through, eh? Hmm - I'd given myself until the end of the month, that would be 22 days and then ........ well not sure what I would do if I was still not sleeping well :rotfl:I'm getting enough sleep now but waking up about 5 times a night - I get back to sleep in about a minute but I'm definitely awake those times and it does make me feel unrested in the morning. Shouldn't grumble though, I haven't had any really bad withdrawal symptoms.

crazymum_2

maman just have to say (and then I'll shut up for today ) you are so right.... it has been lovely to see your posts and how you've come to finding your limits (especially with the glass of wine under the chair :rotfl:)- and with Cleggie (who began here at the same time as me). Finding somewhere that you are comfortable with on the drinking scale.
For others it's a case of coming to the decision that the only way to be is to give up. For me the sense of release was enormous - and so I guess that's one way of knowing that I came to the right decision.
And for you (Maman) to feel happy and comfortable with where you are is knowing that you came to the right decision.

Just had to say that sometimes it feels like both sides clash a bit and I suppose it's just because there are 2 different sorts of people.... those that can drink and be happy and those that can't.

I think I may have just garbled on and stated the obvious

maman

crazymum wrote: »

Just had to say that sometimes it feels like both sides clash a bit and I suppose it's just because there are 2 different sorts of people.... those that can drink and be happy and those that can't.

I think I may have just garbled on and stated the obvious

Thanks for taking the trouble to post that crazymum, much appreciated I think we're vey civilised and polite on here compared with some threads. Fortunately, while everyone will share their experiences we haven't anyone on here now who preaches the one, true way!

I'm shutting up too. Must go, things to do.

365days

I think the original intention of this thread was to support people in cutting down as a purely money saving excercise. This is MSE after all. However as we all know the power of the thread has allowed some people to explore in depth their relationship with alcohol.

For some cutting back alcohol is a money saving, weight control, issue. For others stopping is a life changing and potentially life saving decision.

I'm sure there's room for all.

mackeroo

Hi Everyone
Wow that took me ages to catch up on all whats been happening over the last couple of days, alot of great supportive posts to read.

Well i borrowed the communal AF stop button this weekend:) went out for dinner on Fri night had 2 small glasses of white with meal and nothing when we came home. Last night we went to a party, i had a glass of wine before we went out, glass of champers on arrival at party and then only 2 vodkas after that. I would have normally sank a half bottle of vodka over the evening. Felt quite virtuous :A

On the subject of allotments DH has just got 1 a few weeks back and ive officially become an allotment widow! He loves it though, im not so keen to be involved in this part of it eg all the digging but will be willing to eat all the produce!
Happy sunday to you all

mackeroo

bearacus wrote: »

21 af please shaggy x

And with my holiday fast approaching in 7 weeks its not doing my holiday wardrobe any good So aim this week is just to cook and eat healthly like i normally would and cut out the rubbish wish me luck x

Happy sunday everyone
bearacus x

You can do it Bearacus, look what you have achieved in the last year, 7 weeks of healthy eating you will notice a big difference in your wardrobe. What a great time of year to go away, will give you something to look forward to x

shar-rona

What lovely posts on here this morning WELL DONE ALL. Sorry not been on but lead from laptop broke. So been wiggling all morning and managed to get it on. One now ordered from ebay £4.99 bargain. So quickly came on here for read and to post.

Friday i did rubbish and sat we had friends round ok i had 4 glasses and then a cup of tea before bed:eek:. Amazing acup of tea, can't remember last time that happened, took awhile to sleep, but I'm going to continue along this path. Its going to take a while, but i want to be in that place a/f after reading the posts I think I will aim for totally dont want to end up in the place I am at now!!

Thanks for all support, hoping tonight for 3 glasses.

Have a nice day all, we grow veg too. Nothing better than growing your own:j