The Giving Up/ Cutting Down alcohol support thread - number 11

Dadof2

Hello,

I've been reading the posts on this forum and thought I'd put my own story on here.

I'm in my mid thirties and have been a regular weekend drinker since I was 19. For about eight years l lived purely for the weekend and would get leathered every Friday and Saturday night without fail. It just wasn't a good night unless I was off my head. This was all fine until I reached about 24/25 years old. At this point I was binge drinking heavily just to get the same good feeling that I had when I was younger, only now I was becoming irrational and, I'm sorry to say, aggressive.

The change came when I was 27. I met a girl on a night out who was teetotal and surprised me by wanting to see me again. So I gradually, but without realising it cut down the amount I was drinking and my nights out to just one a week.

Ten years on, I still drink, but don't get drunk unless I'm on one of my three or four nights out in the year with my mates.

One thing though. I still feel as though I have to have a beer on a Friday and Saturday night otherwise I get irritable. Now we are only talking three or four small bottles of beer, but I've got to have it. I don't know if this implies dependance, but does having a couple at home every weekend seem bad?

Would be nice to hear from others whose stories are similar to mine.

Barny1979

19 days for me now, only 12 to go to get 100% for the month.

Lilith1980

Dadof2 wrote: »

Hello,

I've been reading the posts on this forum and thought I'd put my own story on here.

I'm in my mid thirties and have been a regular weekend drinker since I was 19. For about eight years l lived purely for the weekend and would get leathered every Friday and Saturday night without fail. It just wasn't a good night unless I was off my head. This was all fine until I reached about 24/25 years old. At this point I was binge drinking heavily just to get the same good feeling that I had when I was younger, only now I was becoming irrational and, I'm sorry to say, aggressive.

The change came when I was 27. I met a girl on a night out who was teetotal and surprised me by wanting to see me again. So I gradually, but without realising it cut down the amount I was drinking and my nights out to just one a week.

Ten years on, I still drink, but don't get drunk unless I'm on one of my three or four nights out in the year with my mates.

One thing though. I still feel as though I have to have a beer on a Friday and Saturday night otherwise I get irritable. Now we are only talking three or four small bottles of beer, but I've got to have it. I don't know if this implies dependance, but does having a couple at home every weekend seem bad?

Would be nice to hear from others whose stories are similar to mine.

Your story sounds similar to mine, apart from finding a partner who was teetotal

When I got divorced my drinking went to a whole new level. I was drinking a few bottles of wine each week and very regularly becoming aggressive and not actually recognising the people I was with

I have questioned whether I have/had dependency. Before Christmas I remember one evening feeling particularly stressed/fed up and actually feeling REALLY irritable that I didn't have any drink in the house. My partner and I ended up buying a bottle of wine but I only had one glass. But it made me realise that this had to stop.

I think I had begun to associate drink with relieving stress, a bit like smoking, although I have been off cigarettes for nearly 4 years now. I think once I realised that it was, for me, more of a bad habit (like my smoking) that made it easier for me to do something about it. This is only my experience though so I realise that others may be different. I am not saying it's been easy - it has taken me 12 years to figure this out!

I guess there might be 'levels' of dependency and you need to measure these on yourself rather than comparing to others. People might not think my drinking habits were particularly bad (my friends who all drink would probably think I'm being over-dramatic), but I wanted to change and I guess that is all that matters.

jak

Hi Dad of 2. Welcome! I think the thing about drinking is that you are the only one who can judge if you have a reason to be worried about your drinking. If you ARE worried then maybe join some of the challenges. Maybe don't drink this weekend and see how you feel. CAN you take it or leave it? Or not. Hope that helps. X

ChocolateCupcake

Oh dear!........Now for my confession...............Day 19 of January and I succumbed to some red wine. I shall have to pay £15.00 for a golden pass on the Dryathlon website......and when it boils down to it......it really wasn't worth it!
I really wish I hadn't done it!

Dadof2

Thanks for the replies L and J. I don't feel worried about it, it's just that it seems so normal to me to drink moderately(thesedays) at the weekend. Maybe its because my wife is teetotal that it seems marginally excessive. Must say that my wife is a nurse and used to drink(sensible amounts), but gave up completely after looking after patients with alcoholic liver disease in the course of her work. Put the frightners on her so to speak.

Lilith1980

Dadof2 wrote: »

Thanks for the replies L and J. I don't feel worried about it, it's just that it seems so normal to me to drink moderately(thesedays) at the weekend. Maybe its because my wife is teetotal that it seems marginally excessive. Must say that my wife is a nurse and used to drink(sensible amounts), but gave up completely after looking after patients with alcoholic liver disease in the course of her work. Put the frightners on her so to speak.

I must admit, I have been contemplating just giving up all together, because I don't miss it. Stupid thing is, that what scares me the most is that I might lose friends because of it. And I know that really that is THEIR problem not mine, but it's still something that might happen and it worries me

Lilith1980

ChocolateCupcake wrote: »

Oh dear!........Now for my confession...............Day 19 of January and I succumbed to some red wine. I shall have to pay £15.00 for a golden pass on the Dryathlon website......and when it boils down to it......it really wasn't worth it!
I really wish I hadn't done it!

I have had times like that where I have been dying for a glass of wine, had one and then wondered why as it didn't do anything for me! Perhaps this feeling you have now, is one you can remind yourself of if you're ever feeling tempted to have a glass again

Don't beat yourself up though, try and recognise what triggered you and then learn for next time

graemecarter

Lilith1980 wrote: »

I must admit, I have been contemplating just giving up all together, because I don't miss it. Stupid thing is, that what scares me the most is that I might lose friends because of it. And I know that really that is THEIR problem not mine, but it's still something that might happen and it worries me

That worried me for a long time.
I wouldn't say I 'lost' friends, but I gradually lost contact with some people. They were friends, but we had toxic relationships based around getting off our heads. We're not unfriendly with each other now, but have less in common so the friendship has dwindled.

It worried me greatly that this would happen, but in reality it wasn't detrimental to my life at all (far from it).
I think it was my alcoholism playing tricks with me, telling me that I HAD to drink otherwise I wouldn't have a social life and would be lonely.
It was alcoholic fear. False Evidence Appearing Real.

Good luck

shaggydoo

Morning :hello:

1 more AFD.



Shaggyx