The Giving Up/ Cutting Down alcohol support thread - number 11

graemecarter

beckseven wrote: »

4 AFDS for me please shaggy and finished up with 3 for the snc please bearacus. Well done everyone who was af last night. I wasn't and drank 3 glasses of wine and 3 bottles of beer last night-I feel awful this morning and my skin is grey and I feel bloated and I stuffed crackers and stilton down which isn't on my diet. I'm disappointed with myself-will aim to be af tonight-think dh is going out tonight so will be easy if he is. He drinks far to much too and sometimes it's easier for me to join him in drinking because I get really irritated if he is drunk and i'm not!

If I wasn't drinking and others were, I would be the most miserable so-and-so in the world!
The self pity was enormous, and I had no time for others being drunk.
I forgot the fact that most of the time it was me who was the drunk one.....

I had to change myself, and make sure that I am only concerned if I drink. I am not the drink police. I have no control over other people, so I need to accept their actions.

graemecarter

crazymum wrote: »

Hello all, hope everyone has had a good day....and enjoying the evening.
Cleggie you enjoy your wine a little treat every now and then is no bad thing. I need to be AF because it was ruining my life, unfortunately I drank to excess too many times....the drink controls me, I simply do not control the drink anymore. Quite shocking really, but there you go - better for me to face facts than to pretend otherwise .

Legsand - how brilliant to be selling your jewellery - what sort of stuff do you make ? I have to say I like little girl jewellery and rainbows and pink sparkly things - I quite often share stuff with my 9 year old. If anyone gives me grown up stuff I pass it on to my 21 year old daughter.

365 days - the book is going well, need to put more time into it. I had a bit of an emotional moment in realising it is the book I need to be reading - I suppose I never imagined that I would get to this stage with drinking and I suppose I'm very ashamed. But there you go, it is how it is and the best way to move forward is to deal with it. I actually feel quite relieved to know that I need to give up - I've tried for some time to get the drinking in order....and it's just not something I can do. So at least I have a straightforward task - just give it up. Still walking and still AF

Hugs to all and I hope you all have great evenings

Ditto.
I have no control over when I stop drinking when I put alcohol in my system.
It could be after 2 drinks, or 22! All bets were off.

It's like if I drove a car and would crash sometimes due to my inability to control the car.
Even if I only crashed once every 10 times I drove, one would still say I was never in control, and that I should give up altogether.

That's the same with my drinking, because I wasn't in control all the time, it meant I was never in control.
Thus I can never put alcohol in my system safely.

Hope everyone has a lovely day/week/month/year.

crazymum_2

Just wanted to say thankyou Graeme and other people who have been through the drinking game and stopped.... for coming on here and posting advice - I for one find it so helpful and comforting to hear what you say.....and that life gets better .

I so wanted to trash the whole thing last night and just be 'normal' like everyone else and forget my inner voice which tells me I have a problem which I need to deal with.

But in my dreams I want to be free, free to know myself, free to do things which I enjoy, free to enjoy my evenings, know that I can stand tall and walk strong and be there for my children. Wake up in the mornings and enjoy the day.

And for now.....I'm going to take a deep breath, stop being a misery and feel happy. I've now been 12 days AF - which is the longest time in 5 years. All done on my own (apart from you lot of wonderful people) and still standing tall.

Hope everyone has a wonderful day

365days

Rachel (Hugs)

Great to see Heath and GC adding there wisdom! You both definitely helped me in the early days and now too.

Crazymum. It sounds like you are having a huge transformation. Stick with it and know it will get better. You've made the decision to stop, alcohol will now try to fight you and tell you that it is a wrong decision. Come on here and there will be lots of people who can tell you that it absolutely the right decision. We are stronger than alcohol. Hope you can have faith in that.

heath480

crazymum I have pmd you.

beckseven

5 AFDS for me please shaggy-managed to stay af last night-dh went out for a drink at about 6.30 but was back by 8.30 and suggested sharing a bottle of cava but i said no-I was being a bit shirty with him when he first came in but then realised that he wasn't drunk and I needed to loosen up a bit. Very true words Grahamcarter about not being the drink police-I was tutting this morning clearing away four beer bottles forgetting that I had polished off 3 plus 3 glasses of wine the night before! I'm fine going out and not drinking-I live in the country so drive most times I go out so it doesnt bother me-I prefer it in a way because I don't make an idiot of myself -most of the people I know drink sensibly anyway which helps! Its at home I drink to excess-when there's noone there to judge me-I can easy polish off a bottle of wine on a Friday night whereas I wouldn't do that in a pub for fear of what people would think of me! Best wishes to you and your mum Rachel-so sorry you are having a tough time. well done crazymum-you are doing so well-my uncle is a recovering alcoholic-been sober for about 18 years now after going into rehab. He goes to aa regularly-even on holiday he finds a meeting to go to so he can keep the support going at what is a really dicey time as holidays are associated with having a drink. I hopefully will be af tonight but am going away for a couple of days for my birthday so won't be af then. Can I put my self down for 2 for the snc please bearacus.

cleggie

Morning all.
i am glad to say that i didnt have any more than the 2 glasses last night!
BUT i have woken up feeing very fuzzy headed this morning, even after only 2 glasses. So it has made me realise that total abstinance is the way to go from now on, for at least the next 6 months anyway.

RecoveringAlcoholic

heath480 wrote: »

Good news crazymum,:jI tried for so long to control my drinking,sometimes it worked for a bit,but I was always thinking about drinking and planning it.I affected everyone I came into contact with at the end of my drinking,long gone were the days when I was the life and soul of the party.For me it took years for my Alcoholism to progress,

It is hard at first to resist the temptation to pick up,I had a list of people I could phone at anytime ,I was told to pick up the phone before a drink.Just for me I kept no Alcohol in the house and I didnt go into pubs.Nowadays I go into pubs to eat and I have no problem with other people drinking in the house,as long as it is not me.For today my obsession has gone.

I wish everyone well achieving their goals,Bruce Willis film on ,great.:j

I never got to the end of late night films as I usually passed out on the sofa and only woke up when I had wet myself or it was morning.

*Mari*

Hi,

Wow what inspiring posts over the weekend.

:wave: 365, Cleggie and fakeplasicwee for the welcome (and remembering me)! Nice to 'see' you RA, GC, 365 and Heath your words of wisdom always make so much sense and hit home.

Crazymum Sounds like you are doing fab and will soon be feeling the benefits of being AF. It is bound to be an emotional rollercoaster as you are changing long ingrained habits. Keep strong, you can do this and will be able to realise all those dreams.

Rachel sending hugs to you and yours, hope things start to look up a little for you.

Shaggy would it be possible to add me to the list as TF? I don't want to put pressure on myself, but would like to be part of the challenge. At present I am 2 days AF this month.

will try and pop back in later and update on today, am out for dinner tonight but taking a bottle of shloer and a strong resolve to say no if wine is offered! Wish me luck!

Have a good afternoon all,

Mari x

crazymum_2

Good luck with AF dinner Mari
Cleggie - well done on just 2 glasses - I'm impressed :T. Just look at it this way - in the last week you have drunk....2 glasses of wine, not a bad start :cool:

Heath480 - thankyou. I may call on your wisdom again sometime if that's ok.

365days - thankyou, as always, I think I'm going to get there, wobble wobble but yes, I do have faith....still reading

Recoveringalcoholic - I never even bothered to try watching films when drinking - I would be passed out way before the end. There is a beautiful bit in the book 'A million little pieces' by James Frey (great read) that captures this scenario beautifully. I loved the book because he understood what I'm like.

Better go and peel the spuds or we'll have no tea. Hope you all have a lovely evening.