The Giving Up/ Cutting Down alcohol support thread - number 11

PriceySOS

Lovely weekend with DD1 and her boyfriend staying here - took them out for super meal on Saturday night, had wine, but very careful.

DD2 in Greece and DD3 was at a festival - I was on my own for the first time in 20 years on Thursday and Friday nights - a pleasant novelty at the time (I cleaned and cleaned) but I was so pleased to have company again at the weekend :T

BUT now DD1 has gone to Australia to study for a year :eek: It's been a huge decision, boyfriend very unhappy about it, DH and I are of the 'nothing ventured, nothing gained' approach - she can always come home early if she doesn't like it. But she's on the plane now, and I just want her to be settled and happy - I hope she settles in quickly. Saying bye at the airport was so sad.

DD3 is back home again, thank goodness - minus the tent (wrecked) and fold-up chair (stolen)

Onwards and upwards ...

Hope all is OK with Cuppa

maman

That's the first under my belt for this week! Hope everyone else has done well too.:A

5AFDs for July please Shaggy.

CuppaTea

Hi guys, thanks for all your support and remember of me.

Firstly, another 2 AF's please Shaggy.

Secondly, loads of stuff has happened since Saturday too much to mention, possibly most of it trivia and would make me deviate too far from the purpose of this thread than I already have.

Sunday - I had a cuppa with my friend in the morning and then drove to a large town to do some shopping and to get the kids some bits they needed. My heart wasn't in it and I kept seeing loved up couples everywhere. So I got what I went for and came home, within half hr DH brought the children home early at 3.30, I was expecting 5-6pm. He then proceeded to sit on the sofa with No.2 drinking a cuppa whist I ran around unpacking the kids stuff from the day out, sorting washing, organising packed lunches and making dinner, with no offer of help. Hmmm was a little doggy doo doo'd off.

I was very very upset at his going though, i couldnt hold it together anymore, the kids noticed and my friend came over to help. I did get over it and we ended up laughing by the time she left.

DH has suggested he come over thursday to help put the kids to bed and "to talk". I have no ideas/thoughts about this or what he is going to say, I wish I did. But what I have decided is that this conversation now needs to come from him, he needs to decide what he is going to do, not me tell him what I THINK he should do. Hopefully it will be a positive conversation. I have left the weekend blank as I do not know the outcome of thursday yet, so I'm unsure if i should be making family or singledom plans.

Does it sound if my life is on hold.....................................??

Thankfully the kids are fine and seem to have slipped very easily into daddy not being around. They have me and that seems enough. I think DS misses him at times as they do have a lot of common interest and i just can't fill that boy void.

To be honest I haven't been totally AF free, I have had 2 nights of drinking, but i've been in company and i've felt "I deserve it" plus all the other millions of crap excuses.

But on the flip side I remind myself of what I have done and to be realistic and to remember life is hard right now and im not perfect.

maman

Sounds like you're doing really well cuppatea. I really don't blame you having a drink with your friends. You do need some relaxing time for yourself. At least you're not obsessively drinking alone. You're in control (at least of that part of your life;)) and that's what matters. My take on Thursday is that you're right to let him come and say his piece. I agree you shouldn't be telling him what to do but you also shouldn't be accepting whatever he offers/plans regardless of your own feelings. You asked for this separation becasue you weren't happy with how things were. You have to feel that it least he's trying to be the husband you want.:o sorry to rant on, just my take.

Could easily have wobbled tonight but I didn't.:D I had a long evening and came home and said (thinking aloud really) shall I have a glass of wine or a cup of tea? DH said, have a cup of tea. He's really proud of me cutting down although he still drinks himself almost daily. The cup of tea won, helped by the fact that it's really cold here.

6AFDs for July please Shaggy.

diable

I am back.

After giving up alcohol for a while in 2010/2011 for about 3 months I succumbed whilst abroad when I went to party at a mates wedding then after my return to the UK I carried on, a bottle of wine here and there which led me to drinking a bottle or two most nights of cheap plonk.

I was starting to get worried that I was dependent on the booze and worried that my GF would realise how much I was drinking and all the problems it would cause and I also needed to start looking after myself and to loose some weight as I am nearly 50.

So, in December last year I gave up, on the 7th to be precise as I thought that if I can get through Christmas, New Years then my Birthday in January I would be on to a winner.

Well, it's been 7 months now and I haven't had a drop, I feel a lot better have clarity of mind and can remember things a lot better, do I feel the urge to have a drink? hmmmm sometimes, mowing the lawn you think about a cold beer out for a meal a nice glass of wine but now its easily put in to the back of my mind as I know with me that I can't just have one drink so it's better for me to have none.

The other thing that satisfies me is that I now don't drink and gave up smoking 7 years ago is that the Government gets less in tax from me to squander on stupid ideals, now just need to work out a way to stop paying income tax.

Soooo guys keep up the good work as it can be done and at the beginning this thread did help me find my way.

Thanks

tracy_36

Chuffed to report another 2AF, so 3 for July so far - I did got to bed at 8 last night thou

Cuppa - just go with it, I know how hard it is to have 2 kids to look after on your own, esp at the indecisive stage

diable - ty for sharing, its great to hear the positive stories


maman - agree, the weather is definatly helping to stay off the alcohol, long may the rain continue lol

missrlr

Oh lots of positiveness how lovely.
cuppatea I think Thursday may be a case of listen, bite tongue and listen some more. I really hope this is positive and you are both going to move forwards.
Well done everyone
10 for me please

de1amo

well done diable! it is a money saving course this alcohol free. İ have saved quite a bit in the 50 days i have been sober. İ have spent what i have saved on things for all the family.--we have done less dinning out because i used to drag everyone to restaurants so i could get blotto!
confession time---i had a beer with a meal the other night. The other guy at the table was drinking and i did it to make him feel less isolated --thats was my mad reasoning because i dont think he notice me only have one!

İ have 10 af free days to confess to this month!! 10 AF


i can never get the red to work!! 10AF

gien

Quickly popping in with 1 more AF day. Nice to read some positives, I do admire people who stop completely, for their determination as much as anything else.

Cuppa, you are so strong dealing with everything, good luck for tomorrow.

Off on holiday soon so I'm trying to sort everything out to leave promptly and not forget anything!

ForeverHopeful_3

Hi guys.

Sorry I went AWOL ages ago. But I clearly wasn't really ready to do anything about my drinking.

But 3 months ago, after weeks and weeks of drinking a bottle of wine a night and on my days off sometimes a few drinks in the daytime....I know!....I went to the doctor. She was a dr that I had never met before. I explained how tired I had been feeling and she sent me away with a form for blood tests. She said she was checking my thyroid and for diabetes etc. I noticed the LFT box was left unticked. So I ticked it myself and returned to the nurse a few days later for the tests.

I got a phonecall whilst at a friends house a couple of days later saying they wanted me back in 4 weeks for a repeat test for my liver. My blood was showing elevated levels on the lft. Well, I felt like the bottom had fallen out of my world. I felt physically sick! For that month I didn't touch a drop of alcohol and was out of my mind with worry.

I bought milk thistle and think I may have taken over the recommended dosage But I kept reading that it would help. But the best thing I did was read the Allen Carr book. I swear, something happened in my head and what he said just seemed like the truth.

I had repeat tests and my lft was normal, thank god! But I haven't touched a drop since. If I'm offered I just think why would I ruin a nice thirst quenching glass off juice with poison? Even as I write that, I wonder why I find it so easy. But right now, I do.

I'm glad. My life is better. I have loads of energy. I took the boys to street football training tonight. It doesn't finish until after 8pm and I have to drive. I just wouldn't have done that before. Would have preferred my wine The kids are happy. DH is consequently drinking much less too.

Life is good. Sorry for the me post. I just wanted to share X