The Giving Up/ Cutting Down alcohol support thread - number 11

maman

Glad you had a good evening cuppatea. It's times like this we need our friends (and that includes virtual ones!). I, too, don't see the harm in talking but I do understand your concerns. The last thing you want is for him to think you're satisfied with a phone call like you'd get from a friend. I'd play it by ear if I were you. Maybe some evenings you won't want to talk. Then all you do is be polite and pass him on to the children very quickly.

Just calling in to mark up my first for July:

1AF please Shaggy.

Tonight was an easy start to the week as I go out to a dance class, tomorrow might be more difficult as I'm at home all evening.

40somethingmum

Morning all.


2AF for me Shaggy.

Have a good day everyone.

40Smxx

missrlr

2 AF for me please
really struggling with a stinky cold cough and feeling sick (probably due to cough) so absolutely no bells as simply collapsed in bed propped up on pillows and a box of tissues to hand. Wish I was still in bed.

CuppaTea

missrlr wrote: »

2 AF for me please
really struggling with a stinky cold cough and feeling sick (probably due to cough) so absolutely no bells as simply collapsed in bed propped up on pillows and a box of tissues to hand. Wish I was still in bed.

Get well soon, you "sound" awful. Have you had to go to work today?

To Maman - are you male or female btw, you have me totally confused!! Lol
And Maman:-

It's times like this we need our friends (and that includes virtual ones!). I, too, don't see the harm in talking but I do understand your concerns. The last thing you want is for him to think you're satisfied with a phone call like you'd get from a friend. I'd play it by ear if I were you. Maybe some evenings you won't want to talk. Then all you do is be polite and pass him on to the children very quickly.

Thank you, sound advice.

Tonight was an easy start to the week as I go out to a dance class, tomorrow might be more difficult as I'm at home all evening.

Good luck, its always harder at home with no distraction and the usual habits to hand. I'll be around later i suspect, so call in if you need to.:D

CuppaTea

40somethingmum wrote: »

2AF for me Shaggy.

40Smxx

Great stuff 40SM, you sound much more positive than a few days ago. Bet your feeling better too after 2AF days?

mrsrainman

Cuppa, Sorry to hear you've been having a tough time. I agree with the others, the phonecalls will allow you to keep talking, but if you have a day when you don't feel the need then just pass the phone on to the children. When I split from my husband he still phoned every day. All it did was convince me that I had done the right thing by asking him to leave. But talking was definately the right thing to do. You sound like you really want to make things work so I hope you get your Happy Ending.

Hope you feel better soon Missrlr

MrR taped a programme last night while I was at work. Before he pressed the 'i' button so I could read what it was about he said "you'll probably have a dig at me about it". The programme was Blackout - "When Daniel wakes from an alcoholic blackout to find he has beaten a man to within an inch of his life, he begins a dramatic quest for redemption."
I'm quite looking forward to watching it.

MrsR xx

MarkMan

I just wrote a long post but deleted it because really I could be the OH of quite a few people here unfortunately:o:o

As things stand, DW seems genuinely happy enough, and it seems to be just myself that I am upsetting (yes, I've been very lucky so far, and yes, I could be deluding myself). I know its only a matter of time before things start to fall apart if I don't change, so I'm keeping trying as hard as I can.

Read beyond the first chapter of the Allen Carr book on controlling (well, it's becoming apparent its "quitting") alcohol and there are some very interesting points being made. I'm trying to follow it to the letter, but like when I read the smoking book, I don't know whether I can stop completely. BUT, I feel exactly the same as I did then [see signature for outcome], so who knows, maybe I can do it. Maybe there is an off switch in my mind. God knows that I have absolutely no idea why I drink now. In fact, the only time I know why I'm drinking, is when I'm trying to reduce the withdrawal pain, and even then it doesn't help much.:eek:

Well, I'll be back at conselling on Saturday, tail between my legs, but got to keep fighting.

Anyway, glad you're sounding cheerier Cuppa and I hope you and OH enjoy the film MrsRainman - I would avoided watching something like that with DW as it sounds to close to home (not that I've even nearly killed anyone - I've never laid a fist on anyone!:))

Good luck and stuff to all and have a nice evening, despite the weather.

And please excuse the rant - I'm actually feeling quite bright and perky today (pains are all gone and I've had gallons of camomille and loads of really bad-for-you food:D)

Olderbutnowiser_2

Just reporting in - I didn't drink yesterday so that's 1 off my July target. I am going out for a meal with friends this evening so I probably won't be AF but we generally share a bottle of wine between 3 of us so it's not too bad. I just mustn't have any more when I get in, which is what I generally do .
Cuppa you sound quite upbeat today - good; I agree that there is no harm in talking to your husband it's good to keep communications open and your children need to talk to their dad.
Mark I'm very new to this thread so don't know the background but I do wish you well. From your post I can see you are someone who is confronting his 'demons'.

mackeroo

Flying post to report 2 AF please Shaggy

CuppaTea

Olderbutnowiser wrote: »

Cuppa you sound quite upbeat today - good; I agree that there is no harm in talking to your husband it's good to keep communications open and your children need to talk to their dad.

Thanks but not feeling it right now, anger has kicked in and the bells have been clanging loudly this evening. Resisted so far and settling for fizzy squash. When DH called I knew it would be him, so i got the kids to answer, talk and hang up. Right now I feel :mad: and tired from being 2 parents. I truely admire single parents in every aspect, its knackering, esp when you have to work and run the house and do everything two people usually do.

Just eating my tea now, so that hopefully should offset the bells.

Markman sorry to hear about the withdrawal pains. Should you be seeing a doctor if they are that bad, so they know what is going on? Please continue to update us about the Allen Carr book it sounds interesting esp if you have used the equivalent smoking one with success. Proof of the pudding eh?

I feel quite grumpy and irritable at the moment........hrmphhh.:(