The Giving Up/ Cutting Down alcohol support thread - number 11

40somethingmum

Well I managed to get over the first hurdle ... Sunday lunch without wine !:T

bigdrinker

First hurdle for me - football lol. 1 afd please shaggy!

graemecarter

It took me years to realise that my drinking would never be 'normal'. And I tried to drink normally for a long time...
My hat is off to anyone who has done an about turn and managed successfully to cut down and get a grip on their drinking. Some are capable of it, but not me.

Just because I didn't always get drunk as a skunk after one drink gave me the impression that my drinking was in control.
However, if something isn't always in control, then it is never in control.

At least with no drinking, I know what my limit is.
Zero drinks. Nil. Nothing.
If I don't have that first drink, then I cannot get drunk.

The difficulty was staying away from that first drink. That's where I had to change myself so I didn't even WANT a drink.
Craving something and denying it to myself would never have been successful for the long term.

Good luck everyone!

40somethingmum

Morning :wave:


1 AFD for me Shaggy.

Have lovely day everyone.


40SMxx

missrlr

1 for me please
going to be reasonably easy as two conspirators have infected me with their lurgies (double dose of cough and cough - deep joy!)

CuppaTea

Morning everyone, get well vibes to those with the lurgy and good luck vibes to all those trying to make changes.

Sorry I haven't checked in much this week, i've been very busy with work, kids family etc. But I have 2 more AF's for June to add please.

For July I would like to set a target of 16 please. I feel this should be easily achievable due to the following.

Last night DH and I talked and I finally told him that I could no longer carry on the way things were with our marriage. Despite all my pleadings, changes, suggestions etc I feel that we are still living as friends/housemates etc. There is no passion or intimacy and he has gone back to watching tv late and staying up etc, all the old habits.

I have enforced a two week trial seperation for him to decide what he really wants. I think he is depressed and stressed with work, he won't admit the depression thing though. I have made him Dr's appts to discuss things, he agrees its a good idea then cancels them.

So last night he packed and left this morning. He will return on my work evenings for childcare, but basically hw will not be here for 2 weeks and will stay with a friend who's marriage has recently gone down the pan as well. Maybe the can console each other.

It was jolly hard saying goodbye this morning, knowing the man I love may just walk out of my life but I can't live like this, we are both unhappy and he needs to sort out what he really wants. I've said if he decides to come back, then it must come with changes, i'm not prepared to be mucked about after a few weeks again.

So because of all that I am not drinking for the next two weeks, possibly longer. I have got to be 2 parents rather than one and sometimes No.1 child has night terrors and gets extremely distressed, so I have to be clear headed to deal with that. Plus I was drinking more due to the situation, so I am refusing to let myself drink more and use the seperation as an excuse for indulging further. That's not going to be helpful for me or the kids.

So its fizzy water, tea and hot choc for me too.

I kind of feel numb, but i have to keep going for the children, they are really going to miss their daddy, but we've told them he has to work away. They've accepted that in their own way, luckily they are two little to fully understand.

gien

Good morning,

A nice start to July for me, 1 AF day, and woke up full of energy this morning - I've bern really careful with what I'm eating too so feeling very fit.

Shaggy, I'm gping to be away from the 13th and won't be able to post very easiky until August, but until the I'l go for 10 days please.

gien

Sorry to hear all that Cuppatea - I really hope you can hold it together for your kids - and not drinking will surely help with that.

Olderbutnowiser_2

Well this will be my first AF day of July (I hope); my intention is to be AF each week from Monday to Thursday, unless I have a social occasion mid-week in which case I shall be AF on Friday. The only thing is, I am quite capable of drinking way over the recommended units in just a couple of days so I really need to cut down the amount on the days I do drink. I'm aiming for no more than 20 units per week. My wine glasses hold 250ml, this seems to be very common now, and I have worked out that each glass of an average wine is 3.2 units so no more than 2 bottles a week for me. I should be saving money as well as calories so long as my OH doesn't take up the slack!
Good luck to everyone for their July journeys.

Olderbutnowiser_2

CuppaTea thank you for sharing your difficult situation; I admire your honesty and bravery and really hope that you and your husband can come through this. A good marriage is worth fighting for. Good Luck.