The Giving Up/ Cutting Down alcohol support thread - number 11

maman

gien wrote: »

Sorry to hear all that Cuppatea - I really hope you can hold it together for your kids - and not drinking will surely help with that.

I totally agree with what gien says cuppatea. Hopefully your husband will realise how serious you are and use this fortnight to think through what he really wants and maybe visit his doctor too.

I'm up for my first AF day for July today. Good luck everyone.

CuppaTea

Thank you guys for your support, I hope we make it, do you remember me posting about this a couple of months ago. Well very little has changed since then. How can two people who love and respect each other with two fantastic children end up in this situation I don't know.

I hope this will be the wake up call he needs to finally commit to sorting this out.

Because ultimately we have a great foundation, share the same values and I don't want our children to have to suffer from a split family.

Again as always, to the outside world no one would ever know.

CuppaTea

maman wrote: »

I'm up for my first AF day for July today. Good luck everyone.

Me too, so lets do it together! :j I have an opened bottle of white wine in the fridge left over from a weekend BBQ, I am going to give it to a friend later. No use it going off.


I am not going to cry.......................

CuppaTea

Olderbutnowiser wrote: »

CuppaTea thank you for sharing your difficult situation; I admire your honesty and bravery and really hope that you and your husband can come through this. A good marriage is worth fighting for. Good Luck.

Hi there OBNW, its nice to see you over here as i know you as a respected poster from other boards on MSE. Kind of makes me feel better knowing that other people understand and get how drinking thing can get out of hand if its allowed to.

I've been dipping in and out of this thread since November 2010 and when I'm dipping in I seem to be much better at controlling my consumption. Hence this time I plan to stay around and have been regularly posting since May I think. Good luck.

CuppaTea

I've got a friend round this evening which i never usually do on a mon as I like to spend it with DH. But as he's not here......

Just having my dinner, early for me but then i won't feel like drinking later as I find I drink usually pre dinner rather than post. I've already told my friend she can either drink the wine whilst she is here or take it back with her. I'm not drinking for 2 weeks.

I've realised a lot of my drinking is habit and if i get past those times/occasions then I am fine.

I'm not craving it at all today because I know I have set myself a target, rather than "see how I feel". Plus I have already said on here so.......:p

I miss DH and at times found myself looking at the clock and thinking he'll be home soon, even the kids asked me before we all remembered.

Sorry guys I think you'll be hearing me go on about this quite a lot for the time being......feel free to ignore me.:D

CuppaTea

If you don't mind, please could i pick at your opinions. DH has called to speak to me and children at the usual time he would do if he wouldn't be home before their bedtime. We chatted briefly before he spoke to them. It was all friendly and how's your day type of thing.

But after I thought I'm not sure I should be encouraging him to call, seperation means that. Of course he wants to speak to the kids but I'm wondering if daily phone calls that include me will be mixed messages and blur the lines. I am hoping he will miss me (i know he will the kids) enough to want to fight for us, but daily talking won't encourage that. Or will it?

All ok AF wise, so i'll happily declare 1AF please shaggydoo

tracy_36

CuppaTea - you can only do what feels right for you both.
When I separated the kids were too young to speak on the phone, so nothing I have gone through myself
I would say its good to keep the lines of communication open thou...good luck

I will have 1AF to report for tonight please Shaggy, yes have been drinking more often, but not to the extent I was - so easy to fall back into bad habits

Wishing you all well

Tracy

missrlr

Oh Cuppa, my instinctive reaction is keep talking and use it to build on. Might be how the bridges are built ? Presumably talking or lack thereof is part of the woes , or compounds them so talk about all things.

mackeroo

Evening everyone
Claiming my 1st AF for July please Shaggy
Cuppatea, sorry to hear your news, it sounds like you have shown great strength and dignity over the past few months, im not too sure how old your children are, but its better for them to see this than see you and their dad at each others throats all the time. I agree with previous poster, what harm will come of talking on the phone. U mentioned earlier that you have missed him already today, im sure he will feel the same way so a p/call isnt going to change those bits, if you know what i mean. I think im rambling now. Take it a day at a time. We are always here for you x

CuppaTea

Thank you everyone. I had a nice evening with my friend disecting everything and then we moaned about her husband. Then we both ended the evening by agreeing that despite their faults they were still good husbands, great dad's and we could do a lot worse. She reckons she has a good feeling my ultimatum won't bite me on the bum. Fingers crossed.

Anyway she finished the bottle of wine for me and i stuck to water. I didn't feel hard done by at all except it was a really nice one and i hardly got to touch it when it was opened on saturday, but that's not her fault. I'm now sat here with a cuppa and feeling quite viruous that not only have i been AF but also BPF too, for those of you who know me that's a result.

Right best drink up and head to bed in case No.1 decides to have another night terror.

Mackeroo, the children are 5 and 4 so still believe practically everything we tell them without overthinking it too much. Which is very useful in this situation.

Mind you I have noticed the extra work load this evening. I've just emptied the dishwasher so i save time in the morning and did loads of other jobs and morning preparation this evening,which should set me up for a stress free morning. The last thing I want to do is end up taking it out on the kids, its not their fault. But its gone 10pm, so its time to be sensible and call it quits. I still feel quite alert though as I am AF.

Good night all.