Weight Loss the Old Style Way! Part 8. Please read posts 1 and 2 before posting.

Rose_Wood

Evening All

I'm still suffering quite badly with my cold so had to miss my exercise class this morning. I'm babysitting for DGD tonight but don't need to worry about passing it on as she is almost certainly the one that gave it to me!

Need2bethrifty - if it were me I would just ignore any gossip or chat as trying to put things straight would only revive the story. Those that know and love you will know it's not true and those that believe it aren't worth worrying about.

B: Muesli with extra sultanas
L: Watercress salad with egg mayonnaise. Last of the toffee icecream with HM toffee sauce
Stirfry with egg noodles, mussels, mushrooms and garlic. Raspberries with Greek yoghurt
Snack: Piece of DGD's Easter Egg

Exercise: Short walk round a lake with DH and a walk through the village.

Rose

DundeeDoll

I agree with rosewood but do appreciate these unpleasant things do bob up every now and then. We had a major fall out with neighbours and i now try to keep my distance, but not from mutual friends. Every now and then they try to get me back to my old church but it just wouldn't work out. I could tell my side but what would be the point? It would all get nastyagain :-(
Another good day dietwise. Had a glass of appleand ginger in my posh wine glass tonight as run out of fizzy water. WI tomorrow fingers crossed for smileys
B: toast and end of cream cheese
E: orange
L: onion soup, bread and cheese
S: chicken salad with new potatoes
Drink: apple and ginger
Exercise: 50 minute walk

savesummore

Need2B- I totally understand how angry and upset you would be and my 1st reaction would also to be stomping around putting everyone straight but im sure after a moments thought I would calm down
So I second what the others have to say- if you totally ignore it and rise above it you will be the better person and people will realise its all nasty gossip.

Im sorry you have lost your friendship but she obviously cannot be helped as is not ready to help herself which is a shame as she appears to have people around willing to do just that.

Dundeedoll- I love reading about your drinks in your posh wine glass

Could everyone please please give me a virual kick up the bum! im struggling sooooo much diet wise just lately and keep allowing myself 'treats'

Today it was an icecream :mad:

Aldahbra

Need2bthrifty I agree with everything the others have said. What that man says is not worth you taking any notice of at all. I doubt anyone believes it anyway. I expect they all think the more of you for moving into a hotel.

Your friend is obviously not herself anymore but I really don't know how you could possibly help her, other than perhaps to let her know that you would help her if she asks. She seems to be in a desperate situation and I would not hold a grudge against her, from what you have said she has been victim enough.

sparrer

Need2bthrifty wrote: »

Hi Folks

I am sooooo loving this weather; at last I am getting on top of the gardening. Don’t know if its promoting much weight loss but all this bending is certainly working the “gluts” as my buttocks are aching :rotfl:

Meals today are beginning to be influenced by the sunshine
B – Frozen Banana/Yoghurt/Smoothie thingy
L – Egg, Lettuce & Tomato Sandwich
D – Smoked Haddock Fishcake & a humungous salad.
Treat – Kir Royale – in the sunshine (well not so much royale, as its only cassis & white wine – no fizz unfortunately)

I wonder if I might seek your thoughts on a subject that after about 3 years I thought had been totally laid to rest. I don’t want to talk to my friends as they know people who know people IFKWIM. I apologise but it’s not related to weight loss or even MS, but I am having these negative thoughts and feelings which I either need to deal with - revenge/right a wrong/totally dismiss.

The situation relates to what was a very close friend – it's not the best friend doesn’t like new partner stuff, more the other way around – but she met a man through internet dating and very out of character (for her) moved in with him straight away and within the space of a year they sold up and moved to Spain. A few months later another friend and I went out to visit them and he was a total gent during that time.

However 6 months later I went on my own to visit them and things were massively different – she had lost all confidence in being able to undertake the simplest tasks without his aid or approval and the consumption of alcohol was in my mind out of control. He started drinking around 11.00am till he went to bed around 4.00pm, she was also drinking more than I expected and confided in me that she was miserable. One night, when he would have presumed I was in bed, I was in fact in the kitchen making a cuppa, I witnessed signs that he was physically abusing her. He then in his drunken stupor turned on me verbally, so I made arrangements to move to a hotel and left on the bus the next morning.

About 2 months later her parents did a “mercy dash” out to Spain to get her and bring her home battered, bruised and psychologically a mess. Needless to say she went back to him and I know it may be uncharitable but I couldn’t bring myself to support her in that decision and thought it best to stop all contact – I got the impression that I fuelled his temper because he couldn’t “control” me and my presence undermined his control of her.

But getting to my dilemma – I have heard recently the "story" that has gone around the small community we are both from is that he and I didn’t get on and he asked me to leave. At the time I found the whole situation very upsetting as I have never in my life been treated in such a manner. I then got angry and was all for getting my own back, but when I calmed down, for her sake, I thought it best just to distance myself and leave her to get on with it. Now that I’ve found out what has been said I’m getting angry again, not only with him but with her, especially as her mother told me that she was extremely upset and embarrassed at what happened when I visited.

Sorry for the really long post but this has been churning over in my mind for about a week – what would you do?

N2BT I can only tell you of my experiences, though they may not make much sense to you, a normal person

I met a man through a friend, he was charming, a gentleman, always treated me like a lady until we married. During the first week of my marriage he put his foot on my back, pushed me down the stairs and told me that was just the beginning, I belonged to him now and would comply to his orders completely, or.... In company he continued to be a gentleman, on our own he was a tyrant. He didn't drink by the way, he was a workaholic and got angry when he wasn't occupied. He reduced me to a shadow, belittled me, made me feel completely worthless. Many of my family and friends knew but were helpless, I lived in fear and 'had' to do as I was told, cook what he wanted when he wanted, wear what I was given, clean the house in the order I was instructed, etc etc. I left twice but he found me and brought me back, usually resulting in a hospital admission and the threat of our DD's being put into care. It was only when my younger DD, then 3 years old, asked why daddies were allowed to hit mummies that I came to my senses and finally left to go to Chiswick Womens Aid, the only WA in the country at that time and thank God it was there. Sadly no-one can help until the person reaches their rock bottom, only then can they see the light, and that's when everyone has to rally round and support - not criticise the OH as that will cause her to think he really wasn't that bad which could be disastrous, but to help her put her own life back together. I know it's frustrating to say the least but your hands, and everyone else's are tied. Re the spiteful things that were said, be assured no-one will to take notice of that, knowing what he is.

Regarding the heavy drinking - whether the above was a contributing factor to my drinking or not I don't know but I'm a recovering alcoholic, and again I wasn't able to be helped until I reached rock bottom. Alcohol to anyone with an addictive nature is your best friend because it gives you feelings of security, belonging, confidence, but it will eventually kill you. What is happening to your friend is tragic, I can understand your feeling helpless, but the best decision you've made is to step back and let go, there is nothing you can do unless or until she really wants to stop . Again, what has been said is out of your hands, anyone who knows them will know it's untrue. If you're approached about it, in your shoes I's simply say 'oh well, it was probably just his daily dose of gin/whiskey/brandy whatever, talking' and walk away from it.

I'm sorry I can't say or do anything that would make it all better, I wish I had a magic wand to save all the victims of domestic violence, and of alcohol abuse, but I haven't, and like I've said to you, I'm helpless, it's out of my hands. I just hope this has made some sense and helps you to see the situation a little more clearly.

S x

sparrer

Better late than never

B - spicy, fruity porridge
D - 2 wholemeal rolls, 1xrf cheese & scrape sweet pickle, 1xmarmite
T - hm chicken soup
S - apple, banana, melon, kiwi, satsuma
E - 2 1/2 hours pulmonary exercise, then to the gym for an hour there. To say I feel about 90 is an understatement :rotfl:

Sweet dreams

LavenderBees

OK, if whoever stole the sun, puts it back in the next hour, I'll not report it, right? :rotfl:

Woke before 5.30 to a grey, misty world...it must be my day off :mad: Ah well, the washing is out, I'm having breakfast, and I'll be starting my fence painting just as soon as I've braved my overflowing shed, and found a paint brush I can use.

I'm declaring another STS today. But that's ok as I think this is my true reading after my super binge a couple of weeks ago. I also treated myself to a whisky & coke, strawberries and chocolate icecream last night, whilst sitting outside enjoying the warmth.

I can't get rid of the red font now :rotfl:

My plan today is -

Brekki - hm muesli
Lunch - probably egg and cheese salad (oh, I'm back to black! :rotfl:) as I have lots of small amounts of things that need using up
Dinner - still working through the freezer, and have got out a not exactly low fat option for tonight, but it does need using up - belly pork slices. Will probably roast them and then use in a stir fry with noodles, so that can be today's treat...then again, the choc ice cream is still whispering to me...

Ref the last few posts, I can only agree with all the posters N2BT, rise above it. Those who care for you, know the true story, those who don't know you, really don't matter. But defnitely try to let your friend know that you are there for her should she ask you to be. I hope she manages to escape her situation (and soon too!). It sounds an awful situation.

And thanks for sharing your story, Sparrer, I'm so glad that you and your DDs are ok. It just shows how even strong women (and men too let's not forget) can get sucked into a bad situation, and struggle to get the wherewithal to find a way out. It sounds horrendous.

Whipping is too good for some people :mad:

Youngest pusscat is nervously trying to tell me there's a problem. I can see a new pusscat in a neighbour's garden. My youngest has been very nervous around other pusses since that horrible incomer I tried to home, attacked his big brother.

Well, the forecast is for the mist to shift in the next hour or so, so 'll not have to report the theft of the big yellow thing in the sky, thank goodness.

Enjoy your Fridays, everyone, and good luck with your WIs

LB xx

DundeeDoll

Hugs sparrer and need2be
We seem to have drizzle at the mo though promised sun later so will wear a dress :eek: turns out i have legs after all.
Savesummore you probs need hugs as well if, like me, you're a stress eater. I have coped better on work stress this week and
2lbs :T:T though yes the posh win glass is helping :beer:

LittleMoog

Morning all
We didn't have our planned dinner last night, as neither of us fancied it. Ended up with a takeaway pizza, but then was sick again, which probably served me right for being too lazy to cook

Today:
Breakfast: half granola bar, large glass orange juice, babybel light
Lunch: ham and philly bagel, 2 petit filous, apple, satsumas
snack: trail mix bar
Dinner: 2 sausages, hash browns and beans

Exercise: swimming (didn't make it last night )

busy day tomorrow, I'm off wedding dress shopping with best friend. Will also look at some bridesmaid dresses and chose colours, but as 2 out of 3 of us are currently pg we won't be buying those until January! We're then having BF and fiance over for a BBQ in the evening, first one this year, can't wait! :j

The_Dragon

Happy Dragon! Another 1.6 pounds off :j:j:j (okay take it as a pound as I have NO idea how to do 0.6 of a smilie :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:)