Children and Funerals

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

I'd ask Mum.

She might not be able to bear any children there.

But at the same time, she might feel better to have everyone recognise her babies as family.


If she says OK, then there is no reason why not; death is a natural part of life and the least well adjusted people I know are the ones who have never been exposed to sorrow 'to protect their innocence' as they just can't deal with it later in life.



My daughters have attended funerals; they are more accepting of death as a result. They certainly weren't traumatised by it.


But whilst I am in favour of children attending, that is with the permission of the babies' mother. Her call. Not grandma's, aunties or the woman down the street.

cheeks

Hi Jojo, thanks for your reply.
My sister and her husband are happy for the children to be there, they are leaving it up to us to decide.
I agree, funerals are a natural part of life and if it were for someone that they actually know there would be no question that it would be appropriate for them to attend to help them to deal with it all. It was just the fact that my children had never met the twins, so i was unsure about whether it would be of benefit to them to attend or not. As has been discussed earlier in the thread, the funeral for a baby/child is very different to the funeral for someone older.

sarahjayne1977

Babe,
This book is really good its a kids book but is about expecting a baby but ended up with a angel instead, It might help the kids understand a little and also help the mother explain it to the babies siblings.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Were-Gonna-Have-Angel-Instead/dp/0972424113/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1325235183&sr=8-2

Sarah

The_Next_Verse

I don't have any advice, but wanted to wish your family well and to just say that I am very sorry for your family's loss.

I hope it goes as well as it can whatever you decide to do.

bylromarha

I went to my dads funeral when i was 3, my nans when i was 8. As a result death has always been a part of life to me. I think i have a far healthier attitude to death than the majority of my peers. Children should be at funerals, but babies funeral in this case is not so cut and dried for me.The op has made the right decision here I think.