Partner had to leave house - single or joint claim for benefits?

AimeesMum_2

The police literally waited with him all night at the hospital so they could arrest him. He was then taken to see the police doctor and they phoned me to come and collect him and said he was getting released without charge. I went to collect him and they had sent him to court. They were trying to remand him fully committal for 120 days for a knife offence!! I had to beg to speak to the Procurator Fiscal and try and make them see sense. His lawyer had to prove that he had no intention of harming anyone else except from himself. I was astounded at how it was all dealt with.

Thank you LL30 - you seem to really understand xxx

AimeesMum_2

I am at my tightest Incomings are

£1700 per month
£800 tax credits per month

£1250 childcare
£550 rent
£140 council tax
£200 travelling
£90 Sky & Internet (in contract but going to give them a call and get movies and sport etc off now)
£100 gas and eletric
£100 in overpayment for Housing benefit from years ago

Leaving only about £200 left over per month for food, nappies, milk and clothing. I know it is perfectly manageable - it's just another downside to everything that is happening

jetplane

I don't think danger has to be a direct threat. It would be very traumatic for a child to witness such an event, his state of mind must have deteriated significantly to attempt suicide where the children could find him. Therefore he is unstable and could be a danger to the children if his behaviour is so unpredictable.

It will be a very difficult decision for the OP to make but she needs to protect her children.

OP I think you need to let the professionals do their work with him, you need to look after yourself and children before you break down yourself. It is too often that the carer is overlooked in these situations.

Yes he can have the security of knowing that you will support him (you already do this) but he must work with the crisis team, the doctors and the therapy they offer him.

If he does this then hopefully it will be a great help to you.

Good Luck ((hugs)) xxxx

yonk

AimeesMum wrote: »

He gets £360 per month (£180 fortnightly) which is long term incapacity benefit. We never applied for DLA before. We asked for the forms but they were so big that we just didn't fill them out - he has only had one medical 3 years ago and DWP haven't been in touch with us since.

It's tricky because we are very much still a couple and I would probably be terrified if we were allowed to claim as single that we would be committing fraud but I really wonder how I am going to cope financially with the increased hours in childcare that are going to be required as well as paying all the rent etc by myself

Take the DLA forms along to CAB to get advice and help filling them in. You're missing out on money you are entitled to and he's ill so needs all the help you can get.

Living with someone very ill is frightening for kids and whilst you won't (or might not) see the effects for many years, it will stay with them. I certainly remember all the upset from my sister's illness and the effect it had on my parents.

bestpud

looby75 wrote: »

I think it depends on which sw you get, seriously.

My friends daughter has a history of depression and tried to kill herself, the first social worker that was involved was happy for the children to stay in her and her partners care, the one that saw her a week later wasn't and insisted that she couldn't live in the house until she was "better". As her partner wasn't the childrens father they couldn't stay with him so my friend ended up taking them in.

We had a few involved, from adult and child services, but this isn't helping the OP so I'll shut up.

Sounds like the police are being a bit OTT if he didn't threaten anyone else with the knife and that much police involvement won't help with social services.

bestpud

AimeesMum wrote: »

I am at my tightest Incomings are

£1700 per month
£800 tax credits per month

£1250 childcare
£550 rent
£140 council tax
£200 travelling
£90 Sky & Internet (in contract but going to give them a call and get movies and sport etc off now)
£100 gas and eletric
£100 in overpayment for Housing benefit from years ago

Leaving only about £200 left over per month for food, nappies, milk and clothing. I know it is perfectly manageable - it's just another downside to everything that is happening

Hmm, it's childcare really isn't it? If you didn't have that, you'd be ok.

looby75

if your partner isn't living in the house and won't be for some time I think it would be fair and legal for you to claim the 25% discount on your Council Tax, that might help a bit.

Orville

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

If I husband who was this ill, I would put him first.

:eek:
Shocking answer, you would always put your kids well being first.

Oldernotwiser

AimeesMum wrote: »

I am at my tightest Incomings are

£1700 per month
£800 tax credits per month

£1250 childcare
£550 rent
£140 council tax
£200 travelling
£90 Sky & Internet (in contract but going to give them a call and get movies and sport etc off now)
£100 gas and eletric
£100 in overpayment for Housing benefit from years ago

Leaving only about £200 left over per month for food, nappies, milk and clothing. I know it is perfectly manageable - it's just another downside to everything that is happening

How much has your income dropped since your husband left the family home?

bestpud

Orville wrote: »

:eek:
Shocking answer, you would always put your kids well being first.

There is nothing to suggest it is an either/or situation though...