Partner had to leave house - single or joint claim for benefits?

Oldernotwiser

sulkisu wrote: »

We'll agree to disagree. If my husband were ill and having him in the home put my child's welfare at risk, my child would have to come first. If I were ill and the same conditions applied, I would hope/expect that my husband would make the same choice.

Sorry OP, we are digressing.

We obviously have very different ideas about marriage but will, as you say, agree to differ.

LL30

In terms of safe guarding the children (a social services referral has been made) I have to agree that the OP has made the right decision. On a personal note, it's the decision I'd make regardless. Have to admit that I'm a little on the 'hard' side, but Dear God my daughter brings out my protective side like I've never known it before!

AimeesMum_2

I have to put my kids first - my daughter is 3, she's not a baby anymore. She shouldn't have to wake up to a house full of paramedics and policemen. It's too scary for her and working full time and trying to juggle two kids plus my partner in the state that he is in just now - I don't know how long that I could have coped. We have agreed to him staying on a Friday and Saturday night on the condition that he goes to all the help that he has been offered by the doctor and social services. Feel like I almost need to be cruel to help him actually take the help. Me listening to him, and trying to help him myself clearly wasn't working and for his own safety this was the best way to help him I think.

He gets £360 per month, but £100 for travelling and £100 for rent every month doesn't leave him much to live off of.

AimeesMum_2

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

We obviously have very different ideas about marriage but will, as you say, agree to differ.

You would put your husband before your kids?

bestpud

If it is a case of him going or the children being taken into care, then it was the right thing to do.

However, having been the ill party on a similar situation, I find it an odd way of helping tbh.

Has he ever threatened the children, or placed them in danger in any way?

LL30

bestpud wrote: »

If it is a case of him going or the children being taken into care, then it was the right thing to do.

However, having been the ill party on a similar situation, I find it an odd way of helping tbh.

Has he ever threatened the children, or placed them in danger in any way?

He tried to kill himself whilst the children were in the house thus placing them in danger unfortunately.

Oldernotwiser

LL30 wrote: »

He tried to kill himself whilst the children were in the house thus placing them in danger unfortunately.

Whilst I can see that would be upsetting, I can't see how that would place them in actual danger.

Oldernotwiser

AimeesMum wrote: »

You would put your husband before your kids?

If my husband was threatening my children, definitely not.

In other situations quite possibly, it depends on many factors. I certainly wouldn't automatically put my children first, regardless of their age, circumstances etc.

AimeesMum_2

tbh I don't see how it placed them in any danger either but social work are saying that it could be deeply harming for my daughter to wake up with all the commotion and see her Daddy's blood all over the walls and the carpets etc. They have warned me that until his frame of mind can be fully assessed that if anything was to happen again and he was looking after them alone - then they would be looking at temporarily removing them from the house as I wouldn't have been protecting them.

He has never been violent towards then but was pretty histerical when the police turned up and he had really fratically attacked himself with the knife

bestpud...can you help me with any advice on how I could help him? I just feel so lost just now and don't know what to do for the best

robpw2

the police charging him with breach of police is a bit harsh