Partner had to leave house - single or joint claim for benefits?

AimeesMum_2

My partner suffers from mental health problems which heighten extremely between October (date of his mum's death) and February. For the remainder of the year his tablets seem to work effectively. Last week he tried to commit suicide. He had to get 16 stitches and he done it while myself and my children were sleeping in the house. When I found him, I ran out of the house to get help as I couldn't bring myself to go back in the living room where he was. I took my son but my daughter was still sleeping. I went and called the ambulance from my neighbours.

My partner was taken away and hospitalised and then released and charged by the police for breach of the peace!! They also put in a social work referral as he had done it while the kids were in the property.

Basically, I told him that I would stay with him and help support him to get better but he had to leave our house. He went homeless and has been put in a B&B.

I am due back to work soon and just need to make sure that I have done everything correctly. I phoned tax credits but that have said that I wouldn't be allowed to claim as a single parent as the seperation isn't permenant. This suits me fine. However I am worried about how I am going to cope financially with his money now gone and yet still counted for the purposes of tc and housing benefit. I think it's unlikely that he will be back for some time but we are still very much a couple and he will be spending every weekend here.

Also, would I be committing fraud not updating my claim to say that we don't live together any more? I am obviously getting much less money than I would be if I had a single claim.

I have been on the turn2us website and it seems that on my wages of £27,500 per annum that I am losing out on about £380 per month using his income also even though none of that comes into my immediate household xxxx

Really hope someone can help xxx

Oldernotwiser

Surely you'll be better off with one less adult in the house, even if your income has reduced?

LL30

Will he still be contributing towards your children whilst he's living elsewhere? Surely he won't be pulling all of his financial support as well? Is he claiming HB too? You should get a 25% CT reduction.

On a personal note, I was in a similar situation to yourself a while back, it's not easy. What support are you getting for yourself? And for the kids? Take care of yourself, these situations are very difficult but the most important thing is to put yourself first. Sounds selfish, and I'm not suggesting you leave him to it, but your situation will take a long time to recover and change. I hope he's having therapy and finds a regime which works for him x

tomjonesrules

You choose to support someone with serious mental health problems by shipping them off to a B&B? :eek:

AimeesMum_2

tomjonesrules wrote: »

You choose to support someone with serious mental health problems by shipping them off to a B&B? :eek:

Unless you have ever lived with someone who has mental problems then I don't think that you can understand. I can't have my kids waking up to something like that...I can have him lashing out and acting like he does in front of them any more. It was a joint decision that he had to leave in order to get the right help.

He has to pay rent in the B&B but it's only £100 a month - he only gets £260. He also has to travel a fair bit every week to see him psychatrist, he's doing community service and to see his kids.

AimeesMum_2

LL30 wrote: »

Will he still be contributing towards your children whilst he's living elsewhere? Surely he won't be pulling all of his financial support as well? Is he claiming HB too? You should get a 25% CT reduction.

On a personal note, I was in a similar situation to yourself a while back, it's not easy. What support are you getting for yourself? And for the kids? Take care of yourself, these situations are very difficult but the most important thing is to put yourself first. Sounds selfish, and I'm not suggesting you leave him to it, but your situation will take a long time to recover and change. I hope he's having therapy and finds a regime which works for him x

He won't be contributing towards the kids really, no. I don't think that I can ask him to when he only has £160 a month left over to buy food etc.

Thanks for your post. It has been really hard so far but it was equally hard living with him and all the problems he faced each day xxx

sulkisu

tomjonesrules wrote: »

You choose to support someone with serious mental health problems by shipping them off to a B&B? :eek:

Perhaps that's the only way that she can support him.

OP has children (not sure if they are hers or theirs), and in view of his unpredicatable behaviour, she has probably done the right thing.

If you are/were a parent, who would you put first?

Oldernotwiser

AimeesMum wrote: »

He won't be contributing towards the kids really, no. I don't think that I can ask him to when he only has £160 a month left over to buy food etc.

Thanks for your post. It has been really hard so far but it was equally hard living with him and all the problems he faced each day xxx

Why does he only get £40 pw. Surely he gets ESA , if not DLA?

Oldernotwiser

sulkisu wrote: »

If you are/were a parent, who would you put first?

If I husband who was this ill, I would put him first.

LL30

AimeesMum wrote: »

Unless you have ever lived with someone who has mental problems then I don't think that you can understand. I can't have my kids waking up to something like that...I can have him lashing out and acting like he does in front of them any more. It was a joint decision that he had to leave in order to get the right help.

Totally agree with you there. What did HB say when you rang them? I don't know the rules that well, but I'm sure there's something about if someone is away from the property for a certain amount of time then that changes things. Maybe someone could clarify this point? When my lo's Dad went, my HB actually went down...

Ultimately, you are still going to be seen as a couple for benefits purposes. The problem is that not only do you have a lot on your plate, this situation is going to put you under financial pressure also. Not easy on you at all, and I wish I had something more constructive to say - sorry! x

sulkisu

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

If I husband who was this ill, I would put him first.

We'll agree to disagree. If my husband were ill and having him in the home put my child's welfare at risk, my child would have to come first. If I were ill and the same conditions applied, I would hope/expect that my husband would make the same choice.

Sorry OP, for digressing, especially as I don't know the answer to your question.