Partner had to leave house - single or joint claim for benefits?

bestpud

LL30 wrote: »

He tried to kill himself whilst the children were in the house thus placing them in danger unfortunately.

As he had stitches, I am assuming he cut himself...

How does that place the children in danger?

I could understand better if he was setting fire to himself or something...

jetplane

I'm sorry to hear about your situation, it must have been terrible for you to deal with this and I understand why you need him to be out of the home.

You said he gets £260 month and has to pay £120 of this in bills and food. What is this income is it CBESA or is it DLA and is this all he receives when he is living with you?

Do you have any idea how long it will be before he is well enough to come home? Is it likely to be a few weeks or are we talking some time after February when his medication kicks back in?

For the LA to accept him as homeless and accomodate him in a B&B would suggest some kind of seperation. If at the moment you are seperated from him, especially if it is for the unforseeable future, then you are entitled to claim as a single person.

The fact that you are prepared to support him and care for him does not mean that you have to claim as a couple. However it sounds as though you class yourselves very much as still a couple and so this may well be an extra expense that you need to bear between you.

I would suggest you seek advice re having his DLA increased as you indicate that his needs substantially increase for 5 months of the year. This will help with extra costs to do with his disablity.

LL30

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

Whilst I can see that would be upsetting, I can't see how that would place them in actual danger.

It would come under the category of emotional abuse (despite the fact that there probably was no intention of doing so) Also it does sound like he was struggling with day to day life, unsure to what extent as OP doesn't state, but depending on how this manifested itself, this could also have a negative impact on the children's emotional health and well being. Such a sad situation for all concerned

looby75

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

Whilst I can see that would be upsetting, I can't see how that would place them in actual danger.

social services would see it as putting the children in danger. Because someone who is trying to kill themselves obviously isn't in a stable frame of mind SS would consider any children living in that household to be at risk. They don't know that the mentally ill person wouldn't "snap" and do something to also harm the children.

It's exactly that situation which lead to my friend having to take her grandsons into her home and get special guardianship of them.

meg72

This is beyond belief. He tries to commit suicide and gets charged with Breach of the Peace and dumped in a BB, I would have expected him to be sectioned and hospitilized. He is obviously very vunerable.

LL30

AimeesMum wrote: »

tbh I don't see how it placed them in any danger either but social work are saying that it could be deeply harming for my daughter to wake up with all the commotion and see her Daddy's blood all over the walls and the carpets etc. They have warned me that until his frame of mind can be fully assessed that if anything was to happen again and he was looking after them alone - then they would be looking at temporarily removing them from the house as I wouldn't have been protecting them.

He has never been violent towards then but was pretty histerical when the police turned up and he had really fratically attacked himself with the knife

bestpud...can you help me with any advice on how I could help him? I just feel so lost just now and don't know what to do for the best

Please please please get some support and help for yourself. You can't make him better. Hard to hear, but true. You have done the right things so far, but don't become so embroiled in the situation that you make yourself poorly. You can support his recovery, but you need direction and advice from a professional to do this.

AimeesMum_2

He gets £360 per month (£180 fortnightly) which is long term incapacity benefit. We never applied for DLA before. We asked for the forms but they were so big that we just didn't fill them out - he has only had one medical 3 years ago and DWP haven't been in touch with us since.

It's tricky because we are very much still a couple and I would probably be terrified if we were allowed to claim as single that we would be committing fraud but I really wonder how I am going to cope financially with the increased hours in childcare that are going to be required as well as paying all the rent etc by myself

bestpud

looby75 wrote: »

social services would see it as putting the children in danger. Because someone who is trying to kill themselves obviously isn't in a stable frame of mind SS would consider any children living in that household to be at risk. They don't know that the mentally ill person wouldn't "snap" and do something to also harm the children.

It's exactly that situation which lead to my friend having to take her grandsons into her home and get special guardianship of them.

We've been in a similar situation and there was never any suggestion that the children were at risk.

SS offered help with daycare so DH could have a break, but that was it.

bestpud

AimeesMum wrote: »

He gets £360 per month (£180 fortnightly) which is long term incapacity benefit. We never applied for DLA before. We asked for the forms but they were so big that we just didn't fill them out - he has only had one medical 3 years ago and DWP haven't been in touch with us since.

It's tricky because we are very much still a couple and I would probably be terrified if we were allowed to claim as single that we would be committing fraud but I really wonder how I am going to cope financially with the increased hours in childcare that are going to be required as well as paying all the rent etc by myself

Your income is actually pretty high, although I appreciate you must have childcare expenses.

Can you reduce your outgoings?

looby75

bestpud wrote: »

We've been in a similar situation and there was never any suggestion that the children were at risk.

SS offered help with daycare so DH could have a break, but that was it.

I think it depends on which sw you get, seriously.

My friends daughter has a history of depression and tried to kill herself, the first social worker that was involved was happy for the children to stay in her and her partners care, the one that saw her a week later wasn't and insisted that she couldn't live in the house until she was "better". As her partner wasn't the childrens father they couldn't stay with him so my friend ended up taking them in.