New Year, New Me is here!

thrifty_fifty

Thanks Guys

Sorry for the melodramatic previous entry. I have come this far and I refuse to give in, I will not be beaten. Victory will be mine, and my email will be switched off for much of tomorrow. If that is not good enough, then tough luck.

I'm way too fabulous to become a victim. 2012 is part deux of change, and change I will!!

thrifty_fifty

Have awoken slightly tired this morning, but determined that today will not go the same way as yesterday. Things will have to wait, I am one person and one person only. If people start hanging over my desk today they are simply going to be told to go away and come back later.

The debt busting has been phenomenal, and considering that in January and february not only am I busting my debts, but also busting OHs too, I think that makes me nothing short of wonderwoman. I may not have the cash to splash on a holiday this year, but next year I'm having one come hell or high water. I will go and sit on a beach with a book and sleep and dip my toes in the sea, and generally do things that I want to do.

moo2moo

You muppet ! (and I mean that in the nicest possible way!!!!) Going to the doctors and admitting things are getting a bit much for you is the action taken by someone who is fully control.

Pretending things are hunky dory when they're clearly not is only going to make things feel worse. Being in tears on a Monday morning does not make for a good week to come. By Friday you'll be a gibbering wreck. Pick up the phone, call the doctors, make an appointment to talk to them and do it first thing this morning when they open. Accept all offers of help, no matter what form it takes and most importantly keep posting because we love ya gal!

thrifty_fifty

Oh thank-you so much for the kind words. Well I was like a different person today, got my hair done, felt fab, didn't stress at work.

Then I partially freaked because I allowed myself to spend £3.50 on a sample pot of paint, because I had the money for it, but it wasn't my intention to buy it this month, even if it did make me happy. I then freaked out properly when I got home....opened a letter from the council thinking oh it must be the time to register whether we want a postal vote or to go to the polling station. No. It was a council tax reminder letter saying that we were two months in arrears. I flipped out, basically asked OH what the ruddy hell was going on. He was so relaxed about it, oh maybe the card has expired or Lloyds have messed up the direct debit. Excuse moi? Lets go and check online banking and now, to which OHs response was 'why, I'll just ring them up in the morning and sort it out'. I was pretty much climbing the walls by this point, frog marched OH upstairs and made him pay them right then and there.

It seems that most likely the council have messed up. Direct debit normally comes out on 25 month, the last one came out on 7 november, and then nothing after that. I am going to tear someone a new backside tomorrow for putting that on us. For shouting at OH and saying that the bailiffs would come and our credit report would be shot so that we couldn't even rent somewhere else let alone get a mortgage. gRRR.

And now the moth things have arrived and are for 1 cubic metre. How the hell big is that when you don't have a measuring device, and if the whole drawer unit is 1 cubic metre how do the vapours or whatever get down to the other drawers? Grrrr

loumac

Ha! So a little bit of good and a little bit of bad then!

Try to keep hold of that positive feeling and if the paint made you happy then it was worth every one of those three hundred and fifty pennies!

thrifty_fifty

Oh stuff it, I give in. I'm going to the docs tomorrow. Even though the earlier drama is over, I've just fallen asleep and woken up feeling sick and worried still. I can never completely relax or enjoy myself, I've always got something on my mind to worry about. I'm worn out, tired and had enough.

thrifty_fifty

Meh, tired. Spent the whole night worrying about going to the docs today, what would I say, would I sound silly? The fact that I'm the only one in my area at work at the moment and if I'm not in there will be no-one there atall and there is a team meeting. What if I have to take time off work, then the anxiousness of calling into work because they might think I'm making excuses to be off. On and on it goes. Then the whole why do I deserve to take time off, someone else in my team lost their relative over christmas and is coming in tomorrow, I'm just being silly with all this.

moo2moo

What if the world is hit by an asteroid at 9:42 am and you're not wearing your knickers over your trousers? I mean really. Its a job. Full of other people who are killing 8 hours a day in order to spend the remaing 16 hours of the day sleeping, eating and arting. No one gives a rats !!!! if you have an appointment to keep. Tell the doctor you require a sick note and post it to them with a covering letter if it bothers you that much. Better still find a friend and get them to call in sick on your behalf. How you inform them doesn't matter at all.

Being silly is realising on Friday that you've avoided phoning the doctors all week for one flimsy excuse after another and having to face Monday morning at work when you could be enjoying a week off on happy pills with a voodoo doll of your boss to poke pins into whenever the urge takes you.

thrifty_fifty

Oh Moo, you're an angel. I know it sounds silly, it even does to me. Actually that last point does make it sound kind of appealing. I think it stems from the whole being in debt thing. I've put up with so many carpy jobs just because I have to have a job, because if I don't I won't be able to pay my debts. If I'm off sick then I might lose my job because I'm not up to the job, or the anxiousness thing might spiral and so on and so on. I think the worrying about money and having a job has become such a learned habit over the years I don't know how to do anything else. Like I can't take a holiday this year because when I come back, I won't have a job because things are shakey in our line of work at the moment. I'm sure I'll come back from the docs and everything will be rosy.

MsDaisy

Hi :wave: Hope it goes well at the docs thrifyfifty. Do remember to tell him/her everything especially how long you've been feeling like this. Let us know how you get on x