Christmas "get if off your chest" thread.

McKneff

Dont wait for them to take you for granted, they will do what thy can get away with.

People need permission from you to treat you like a doormat. And youre giving it by saying nothing

When the meal is finished smile sweetly and ask ' who is going to kind enought to help with the dishes'

Barneysmom

Thanks McKneff. I am useless at asking for help but I will give it a try next time.

meritaten

Spendless wrote: »

My nan has been acting 'bizarre' for the past fortnight. Telling me she can communicate thru ESP, and ringing my mum to tell her the reason she's been acting strange is cos she is working undercover for the police (she's 87!) and a few days ago we were told she is sufferring from dementia. She has been perscribed medication. On Dec 23rd she was fine baking sausage rolls and icing cake with my kids, Dec 24th she was ok. Yesterday she rang at 7.30 to say 'Merry Xmas' but by the time I went to pick her up she was unwell, then she seemed more herself and came to our house for lunch and just as lunch was being dished out, she decided she was leaving cos 'we were playing music to wind her up'. No music was playing! We ended up with my 8yo sobbing into her lunch, my 11yo sat with his hands in his head, whilst my DH tried to calm her and stop her walking out whilst we waited for my parents to arrive.

Later me, DH and DS fell asleep and whilst we were, DD set up a password on the laptop-that she then couldn't remember!

Honestly I have felt like I'm acting in an Eastenders christmas special!

Anyway today my Nan told Mum that she slept all thru Xmas day! And the laptop has been fixed due to a neighbour's 'geeky' son-in-law that we now owe a crate of booze to.

aww my sympathies hun - it was many years ago when my nan ruined christmas for the kids - but it still hurts me many years later - and the kids forgot it! honestly, my kids dont remember the year my nan really kicked off! or they say they dont - they say they remember we took them bowling (we couldnt think what else to do on boxing day - it was the only thing open we didnt have to prebook).

scarlet55

Barneysmom wrote: »

Look, what's the point of having all this bad stuff inside and not letting them out?

This is a rant.

Right, Christmas Eve my sis came with her hubby, and 3 children.
I did a stew and dumplings which they ate, some strawberry milk shakes for the kids, then rice pudding and custard.

So that's 5 plus hubby and me.


Today I had DD and boyfriend, mom and dad, plus 2 friends with their son.
I did a big buffet, roast beef, roast pork, turkey, pork pie, salad, baked spuds with garlic butter, roast veg, etc etc 2 different desserts, drinks.

So that's 9 plus hubby and me.

How many people offered to help lay the table, or help clear it after?
None. Not a flipping one of the bone idle lot. Didn't even put a plate by the sink.
Meanwhile there's me and my seriously ill hubby chasing round and waiting on them like a pair of feccin idiots.

Never again.

Pah.
Tomorrow DH's dad's coming.
Wednesday my br his wife and their 3 boys are coming.
Plus another 2 friends.

We'll see who helps.

You have enough to cope with without waiting on other people hand and foot. You have to put you're foot down and tell people that unless they are willing to help then you won't be hosting any more dinners/buffet's for them..They shouldn't need telling anyway, whenever I go anywhere for dinner I am always the first person in the kitchen washing up, It's just good manner's if someone has had the decency to feed you..Take care Barneysmom.:)

Barneysmom

scarlet55 wrote: »

You have enough to cope with without waiting on other people hand and foot. You have to put you're foot down and tell people that unless they are willing to help then you won't be hosting any more dinners/buffet's for them..They shouldn't need telling anyway, whenever I go anywhere for dinner I am always the first person in the kitchen washing up, It's just good manner's if someone has had the decency to feed you..Take care Barneysmom.:)

Thanks hun, I'm just thinking that might be part of the problem.
Whenever I go to someone's house, I always always muck in with the washing up. If I haven't done half an hour at the sink, I haven't been a proper guest?
So now I think it's expected 'Ah BM will do it'.
I'm too tired now.

time2deal

I'll play!

My OH picked a ridiculous fight we me just as we were getting ready to cook Christmas lunch yesterday, seriously over nothing! We hadn't opened presents yet, so instead he just strops off for the next hour. Then guests arrive, and he sits there with a face like he has been slapped with a wet fish, to the point that people even commented.

He left it to me to try and cover why we hadn't opened presents, and literally spent the day without making eye contact with me. He eventually opened presents as it was kind of forced by our guests (in a nice way, they just assumed we were too busy or something) and didn't say a single thank you, or look me in the eye again. To finish it off he slept in the spare room!

Today he is still stropping like a child - and I have had a terrible few days. These are the only days I am having off for the break, and he is home for weeks doing %£$ all - so it's fine for him to mess up a few days.

So, I am pretty annoyed. He will come good soon enough, but seriously why are men such children!

end rant/

scarlet55

Barneysmom wrote: »

Thanks hun, I'm just thinking that might be part of the problem.
Whenever I go to someone's house, I always always muck in with the washing up. If I haven't done half an hour at the sink, I haven't been a proper guest?
So now I think it's expected 'Ah BM will do it'.
I'm too tired now.

And I should think you are too tired with all you are going through, you have to stop thinking of other people and put you and you're dear Husband first, I can't believe that no-one offered to help you, it's just selfish in my opinion.:Ax

JCS1

Barneysmom wrote: »

Thanks McKneff. I am useless at asking for help but I will give it a try next time.

They are family - don't ask, tell them!

lady1964

Not a Xmas rant but a rant about unhelpful guests.

Last year, just before dd's 22nd birthday, I had my appendix out and came out of hospital on the Thursday. Prior to this, I had already agreed to OH's parents, sister, BIL and their 2 kids (aged 18 & 17) coming for buffet lunch on the Saturday after and to spend the day for dd's birthday. Our numbers included my OH, 3 dd's and one dd's boyfriend, so 12 people inclluding me.

On coming out of hospital, I was asked if I would still host this lunch, I agreed only because everyone said they would help out as they understood that I needed to rest and take it very easy.

OH was great, he got all the food ready while I took it easy - I was still in quite a bit of pain - so when the other men went to the pub, I was happy for him to go, thinking, my dd's, MIL, SIL and niece will help.

How wrong was I? They all sat back & watched while I got everything out of the fridge, reached up for plates, got cutlery out, served the wine etc. Then, SIL & BIL didn't even put their dirty plate in the dishwasher, they simply put the plates on the side and walked away to sit down. They all sat on the sofas and chairs, leaving me to sit on a dining chair or stand and watched me stack the dishwasher. And SIL turned up with nothing, not a bottle of wine, a card, nothing and MIL looked at a card a friend had sent me and said 'oh I nearly sent you a card......' she didn't.

I was so upset and sore by the time these unnhelpful sods left, I was in tears. I was upset with my dd's for doing b*gger all to help and upset with myself for doing it and saying nothing, I just silently fumed.

Never again :mad:

VfM4meplse

time2deal wrote: »

He eventually opened presents as it was kind of forced by our guests (in a nice way, they just assumed we were too busy or something) and didn't say a single thank you, or look me in the eye again. To finish it off he slept in the spare room!

Today he is still stropping like a child - and I have had a terrible few days. These are the only days I am having off for the break, and he is home for weeks doing %£$ all - so it's fine for him to mess up a few days.

So, I am pretty annoyed. He will come good soon enough, but seriously why are men such children!

What a brat. It's a good job he found himself somewhere else to sleep, otherwise you'd be labelled a pa*dophile!

lady1964 wrote: »

thinking, my dd's, MIL, SIL and niece will help.

How wrong was I? They all sat back & watched while I got everything out of the fridge, reached up for plates, got cutlery out, served the wine etc. Then, SIL & BIL didn't even put their dirty plate in the dishwasher, they simply put the plates on the side and walked away to sit down. They all sat on the sofas and chairs, leaving me to sit on a dining chair or stand and watched me stack the dishwasher. And SIL turned up with nothing, not a bottle of wine, a card, nothing and MIL looked at a card a friend had sent me and said 'oh I nearly sent you a card......' she didn't.

I was so upset and sore by the time these unnhelpful sods left, I was in tears. I was upset with my dd's for doing b*gger all to help and upset with myself for doing it and saying nothing, I just silently fumed.

Never again :mad:

Why didn't you ask for help? I am v surprised that your own DDs sat by and let you get on with it, despite your delicate condition. Could it be that by soldiering on, you gave the impression that you were actually fine?