Removing items from house after Seperation

princessdreamer

I changed the locks boxed up his crap and put it in the garden. He still came back with a list of every electric item in the house and forwarded his bills to me.

How old are the children?

princessdreamer

Scrapaholic wrote: »

What's with the young women of today ? Have heard of numerous cases like this where the mother stops the dad from seeing the children just because they can . Not thinking of the children and how they feel about not seeing their dads ( + grandparents too !) I'm just writing about what I've heard + not where there is an abusive parent. Why is one of the first things they do is use the children as a weapon ? I cannot understand it . I really hope you can get things sorted and feel for your situation. Good Luck.

I do think a lot of absent dads who don't bother play the ex is stopping me card as well though. Mine has not bothered in over a year and still does the I'm cruelly turning him away sob story. Even sends hatemail saying how the kids will hate me when they grow up, my son is 15 so somehow I doubt it.

Hootie19

Changing the locks was discussed a while back on another forum I use. This advice was given by a lawyer:
"Plenty of people get taken to Court over changing locks in separation/divorce proceedings. You can't change the locks without giving him a set of the new keys as it's his house and he owns it. You would be breaking the law if you don't and the Courts will order you to hand over a set of keys if you were to refuse. Even if a couple jointly own a home and are getting divorced, the locks cannot be changed without permission of both parties and without both parties getting keys. If your ex was to call the police after you had changed the locks then they legally have to let him in."

Don't know if you are joint owners of your house, OP, but just be aware of this piece of information.

I suggested leaving the external door locks as they were, but fitting a lock and key to all internal doors, thereby permitting access to the property, but not to the personal possessions and other items in each room. The reply to that idea was:
"Let's say you had one room where everything in it was owned by you. Now that would have to mean you had bought a new bed, wardrobe, chest of drawers since your ex left the house. Let's say that in that one room you had only personal possessions. Now the thing is, personal possessions aren't quite what you think they are in a divorce eg, your clothes are yours alone, but the jewellery your grandmother gave you 20 years before you met your ex is technically/legally something which has to be considered an asset within a divorce settlement.

You might have a case for fitting a lock to that one room, if and only if it contained purely clothing/things you had bought since ex left that can't be considered an asset, but it isn't advisable and I've seen a couple of cases where people have done just that and were still ordered to remove the lock and got a slap on the wrist. Basically adding locks to internal doors is considered asset concealment plus again you have the issue that the property isn't yours so you shouldn't be doing it anyway. "

ellies_angel

My husband used to come in when I was out and take things, I remember sitting down in the lounge thinking something was missing and it was the plug in air fresheners. He also used to empty my chocolate biscuit jar, toilet rolls etc. Once he had signed the legal agreement which stipulated what each party got my solicitor told me to tell him was anything else was to go missing he would have the value taken out of his share. Believe me that put a stop to it. The day he came round to remove everything agreed to in the seperation agreement I waited till he left and then changed the locks.

yvonne13_2

OP I hope you get this sorted soon.

yesican

chrisbagsy wrote: »

Ha!
Once again she messing me about over seeing kids.
Just got back from appointment. (Counsellor)
I can only see kids if I pick them up before 6pm tonight!
Changed Xmas plans to cause me max disruption.

Calm Calm Calm.

Words fail me!!!...I wish you all the very best Chris...Dont give up....

chrisbagsy

I realise this is another day.
Xmas Eve and all that. hurting like crazy.
Thank you for all your posts. x
I took kids with me everywhere when we were together so really don't see me as a not bother Dad. have been told by too many friends lately that "she doesn't know how lucky she was". I think biggest problem was I did TOO much. Yes ironing and sewing and washing etc. plus working 48hrs a week and on call.
I take full responsibility for my failings in this relationship but really don't understand why she playing the kids card.
on another point kids are 5 and 2. OH has a 13 year old boy who now wants to come and stay with me. I have brought him up for last 10 yraears and he says he sees me as his real dad. Got no access to him!!!!!!

Thanks

Reluctant_spender

Chris I really feel your pain with regards access to the children. This is the first year that I have seen my daughter anywhere near Christmas day and had to fight tooth an nail in court.

There is light at the end of the tunnel and yes it will feel like a train at times but you will get there.

All the best.

chrisbagsy

Some good news!!
I got kids for a short while on Xmas day. (2.5hours)
I also got them yesterday lunchtime until lunchtime on Thursday.:j
On a different note. When she dropped kids off yesterday she said she wanted to pick some stuff up.
Said ok. (Whilst trying to remain calm)
The only thing she took was a box that contained ALL the letters I had written to her when I was away in the forces.
That really confused me as that was the last thing I thought she would take!

yesican

chrisbagsy wrote: »

Some good news!!
I got kids for a short while on Xmas day. (2.5hours)
I also got them yesterday lunchtime until lunchtime on Thursday.:j
On a different note. When she dropped kids off yesterday she said she wanted to pick some stuff up.
Said ok. (Whilst trying to remain calm)
The only thing she took was a box that contained ALL the letters I had written to her when I was away in the forces.
That really confused me as that was the last thing I thought she would take!

Awwww....Thats so great to hear Chris....(Glad that you'd a great time with your kids and it was "stress-free"
Hope 2012 brings more of these moments your way Chris.......:j:j:j