Removing items from house after Seperation

chrisbagsy

My question is quite straight forward but causing me much distress.

My OH left the marital home at beginning of November. Tooks kids and left while I was at work. She at her mums at present.
I paying Maintenance and have limited access to kids.
Waiting until after Xmas to ask my sol for more access.

Problem is, OH has listed my possessions as part of seperation but comes to house while I am out and takes items from the house.
PC, Printer, ornaments, books etc.
Nothing of real value at this time but how long before the Sofa or TV and beds have gone.
I realise she has access to the house. Asked her to leave a note of what she taking but she replied by stopping me seeing the kids!

Any advise please? What should I do?

Many Thanks

adamantine

change the locks and notify the solicitor.

it might make things difficult to begin with but at the end of the day you can go to court and get her ordered to give you access. also point out that punishing the kids by stopping you see them is just plain cruel.

chrisbagsy

Hi Adamantine.

My Solicitor advised me that she can have access to the house at any time.
Its the taking of things that is causing me distress as I think she going through my things as well. A letter mysteriously went missing!!
regarding access and maintenance. Solicitor has copy but I honestly feel violated!!

yvonne13_2

What has getting the locks changed got to do with anything? She can still have access to the house by knocking on the door with you being there.

Don't forget some people have amnesia when they have taken things out of the marital home so don't just let her in at her leisure.

chrisbagsy

Am I right in saying that ALL items in the house are part of the marital assets?

Her Sol letter has included my motorbike, car etc. But does that mean she should not remove items that she says are hers but were bought as part of our relationship?
I feel really unsure of what can and can't be taken.
I know I can't change the locks.

Thanks

chrisbagsy

Regarding Amnesia.... Yes.
I made the silly mistake of giving her £750 for kids Xmas presents. She agreed to split the presents between the 2 houses but has now said that she doesnt remember me giving her money and that I should go and buy them presents from me.

yesican

She cant stop you from seeing your kids!

My ex's EXwife used to do the same to him.One minute,she'd be ok with it and the next,she'd be saying no to him seeing the kids-He had to go to court for access...It took him upto 6 months for an agreement to come into effect(mind you,he never saw his kids during that painful time as he was not allowed...big shame cos he's such a great dad and the kids adore him).

Im a mother myself and what i fail to understand is how a parent can use their kids as a weapon!---Kids have feelings too and it annoys me when some parents refuse to allow the kids to see their other parent!

I dont know if its possible but what about your HUMAN RIGHTS??(Heck everyone is using this for personal gain!)-If she's budging into the house when you're not in is violation of your privacy.If she wants to come into the house,she can do that when you're in!-REMEMBER,you're also human and you're worthy!...Changing the locks might cause trouble for you but please dont quote me on this....

As for occassions like Chrimbo,he NEVER EVER gave her money for presents (apart from monthly allowance towards the kids's upkeep)-he bought presents for the kids in stead for his house and she did the same for her house.I think if you ever give her money for anything,make her sign a form to confirm it so it doesnt come back to bite you like the way it has with the £750.

I wish you all the best.

chrisbagsy

Thanks Yesican.

She blows hot and cold regarding kids.
EG. Sunday said I would never see them except in McDonalds car park after court case!
Asked me to take kids more but not pay less Maint! I said I would happily take kids every weekend. and holidays but that she has to be fair.
Her answer was. "put it writing that you will do that but wont reduce maintenance".


so sad at the moment

jungle_jane

You need to ensure that any money you pay her is clearly marked with the purpose. Online banking allows you to do this - so maintenance MUST be clearly marked as 'child support for X and Y' otherwise it she may be able to claim to the court that you haven't paid a penny and there is nothing you can do to disprove it. Never give cash. Never.

yesican

Just shows you,Love is a very powerful thing but it is also LETHAL when situations change!!

Glad that even though my ex and i are not together (long post)-we're still in good terms about the upbringing of our child.He see our child

Wednesday- 4pm-8pm
Friday-Sleepover
Sunday-4pm-8pm
ONE holiday abroad a year---He suggested this and not me.

ONLY recently,he has asked to change sundays to another sleepover.

yesican

jungle_jane wrote: »

You need to ensure that any money you pay her is clearly marked with the purpose. Online banking allows you to do this - so maintenance MUST be clearly marked as 'child support for X and Y' otherwise it she may be able to claim to the court that you haven't paid a penny and there is nothing you can do to disprove it. Never give cash. Never.

I second this!