My dad died yesterday.

Bennifred

I'm so very sorry for your loss, Merlin - and even more so for the circumstances.

I'm another who also witnessed awful (non) treatment when my mother died three years ago. I'm still haunted by the manner of her death.

Look after yourself x

meritaten

I am so sorry merlin about your dad. A bereavement is never an easy thing to cope with - but the attitude of the staff has certainly not helped. I think though, that this should be put aside until after the funeral, then, decide how you want to proceed.

sheilavw

So sorry to hear of your loss, cancer is such a cruel disease, I lost my Dad to cancer when I was 15 .

pingu

so sorry to hear of your loss

Rummer

Merlin I am so sorry to hear about your loss especially under such distressing circumstances. Please try and take some comfort from knowing your dad passed surrounded by people who loved him and that he is no longer in pain and is at peace.

As others have said take time to be with family and to gather your thought before you decide if you wish to pursue things further with the hospital. It is important you take care of yourself and each other first at this difficult time.

Teenie_D

Just wanted to say I am so sorry for your loss, thinking of you and your family merlin x

RubyRue

So sorry for your loss.

My grandad is in hospital at the moment and the care he has been given so far is disgusting to say the least, not given anything to drink, not given his medication, not being washed and he's just left, he has dementia which just compounds his distress, still waiting for a doctor to see him... Three days and counting. He's not the only one, the other patients are left too whilst the nurses are chatting and drinking tea round their station whilst the relatives do their job. If you raise any issues with them you just get attitude back. It breaks your heart. I'm not sure where the care has gone from the caring profession.

motherofstudents

RubyRue, I can relate to your situation. My dad was in hospital as he had a urinary infection but also had dementia. The nurses had no idea how to cope with him. They put his medication in a little plastic cup on the table but didn't watch him take it or help him to take it. After 3 days we realised this was happening when we found the tablets under his pillow. So without medication and already more confused than usual, he had pushed a male nurse who reported him for an assault. When I said he will behave like that without medication and he had not been helped to take it, I was told they could not force a patient to take anything. A lot needs to change in the care of older, vulnerable people. When you compare it to the treatment Prince Phillip is receiving now, well there is no comparison and I don't begrudge his treatment btw, but it should be available to everyone. So upsetting.

RubyRue

motherofstudents wrote: »

RubyRue, I can relate to your situation. My dad was in hospital as he had a urinary infection but also had dementia. The nurses had no idea how to cope with him. They put his medication in a little plastic cup on the table but didn't watch him take it or help him to take it. After 3 days we realised this was happening when we found the tablets under his pillow. So without medication and already more confused than usual, he had pushed a male nurse who reported him for an assault. When I said he will behave like that without medication and he had not been helped to take it, I was told they could not force a patient to take anything. A lot needs to change in the care of older, vulnerable people. When you compare it to the treatment Prince Phillip is receiving now, well there is no comparison and I don't begrudge his treatment btw, but it should be available to everyone. So upsetting.

That's exactly what it is like. My grandad is on an elderly ward and the nurses have been informed numerous times that they need to make sure he takes his meds. He's on blood thinning drugs so he has to take them regularly. What's worse is that they lie, saying they washed him when the wash cloths and towels are bone dry! All they are worried about is if we are going to be making a complaint.

You're right they wouldn't be leaving him almost falling out of a chair, everyone should be getting the same level of care.

jetplane

So sorry for your loss and I think one of you should take time out to ring PALS, you can then pick it up again later if you wish. This is because it is difficult to compose a letter during the grieving process and time will pass and although the experience is never forgotten, the details are and the complaint seems less urgent.

Both of my parents died in hospital over the Christmas period (different years) and whilst I have long since given up on the notion of being 'cared for' in hospital I was appalled at the lack of respect and basic treatment. Both times I had stand up arguments with the ward sisters and in the case of my mother also with a consultant.

Of course I was the one who was viewed as irrational, emotional and an inconvenience but one ward sister admitted that she would not want her own mother on her ward :eek: I would not accept excuses and in both cases my parents were made comfortable, moved wards and taken care of before they died and I have never regretted being demanding and making a scene.

However I never did get round to making official complaints in either circumstances because real life got in the way. I wish I had rang PALS because the treatment my parents received before I made my demands still upsets me to this day.

Look after yourself x