Frump to Fab - Summer Solstice Sizzler

adelight

LL ((hugs)) i have no advice or anything, mostly i'm just in awe of everything you do. Your family are so lucky to have you but please take care of yourself too.

fedupandskint grr that's very frustraating, hope yo find another way to relax

lessonlearned

podperson wrote: »

Morning all,

LL - I'm glad you're thinking everything through, tbh if you were talking about all 3 of them living with you in the one house I think you would need to be looking at live in carers, which is obviously a huge things having other people living in your house - it sounds like neither your mum nor your OH can be left on their own and you'd perhaps be struggling to watch them both all the time. I don't envy you hun, make sure you take care of yourself while you're running round like a mad thing x

Hi PP - Yes this is what I'm thinking, rent a very large property for say a year or so, and have a full time live in carer plus extra people during the day, carer's assistants, cleaners etc and the occasional odd job person/gardener. This is why I need to wait until I've met with Social Services (on both counts) to see what funding and equipment is likely to be available.

Whilst this is going on we can sell their house and find them sheltered accommodation or if push comes to shove, a nursing home for mum and sheltered accommodation for dad. I've also started looking at properties for OH and I.

I've been an assistant manager in a sheltered a housing complex, I've also managed and ran new homes sales complexes, organising trades, workmen and cleaners etc. I've done up several houses in the past. I've been a Company Director and Company Secretary. I've done voluntary work involving running events and been a Secretary of the local PTA. I've even picked up a few nursing skills along the way.

I think I have the right skill set, experience, knowledge and organisational skills. Where I fall short is my bad back........

Provided I can get good quality, reliable and consistent help I should be ok. Which is why I think live-in help would be best.

As long as I can have one room to escape too when it all get's too much I should be ok. I shall have to build myself a "My-Shed Only" little space tucked away in the garden somewhere. I can make it all shabby chic and girly - just for me. :rotfl:

Re the live in bit - I did have a lodger a couple of years ago and she was lovely. My mum is a sweetie, OH is a an absolute joy, it's my dad who will be the fly in the ointment - just think Victor Meldrew With Knobs On He'll be the one to send me bonkers.:rotfl:

PP Your projects sound really interesting, hope there's good moneymaking potential there.;)Looking forward to reading the best-sellers and watching the blockbuster "Movie of the Book".

One of the properties I'm sort of looking at for OH and I is a bit of a wreck, a real "fixer upper" - just the sort of thing I would love to get my teeth into. It has some fab outbuildings with great potential for a studio/gallery complex. Very tempting. A lot of work but a great long term project.

Anyway going to have a day off today, no visiting. DS2 off so a trip to Costco and maybe a nice lunch somewhere and just a bit of pottering around.

We're nearly at the end of our six month challenge ladies.

As usual life has thrown me a curved ball and I'm nowhere near my original Fab Goals. Who cares - life is life. Everything is up in the air again.

It's not the destination that matters, but the journey.

Anything can happen.:D

PS - Had to chuckle at the bedroom PP. My house is just the same. I need to get a cleaner to help out a bit - but first I need to do a good clean up - couldn't possibly let anyone see how we are living at the moment......

PPS - Just contacted the agent re "The Project" (i.e. the wreck with the outbuildings) - the vendor has just accepted an offer this morning. I only saw it last night on the web but I could tell it was a cracker.!!!.

Never mind I'm not really ready to jump in just yet. I'm sure there will be others.

mugwump79

I am not particularly feeling that fab this Friday.

I think the problem with me is, I put my makeup on every day to try to make myself feel good, I have nice, clean clothes to wear (all tesco and matalan so not high end or anything) I have polished nails, and squirts of perfume, but all this doesn`t change how I feel about myself.

I am going to try low carb from Sunday to see if it helps me feel any healthier. Going to go out and walk every day for at least half an hour. Just keep trying I suppose.

Ive never felt good about myself, never put myself first, like most of us I am sure, I am the one looking after, taking care of everyone else.

Hopefully in a week from now I can report back something positive rather than all these pathetic negatives

have a great weekend everyone, I am off to hoover

podperson

LL - it obviously wasn't meant to be, am sure when it's the right time then something even better will come along - and hopefully things will be more settled so you'll have the time free to devote to it.

!!!!!! - you say you're always looking after everyone else, what do you do just for you? Now I will freely admit that I am nowhere near as far along as some people with the external fabbing - though I am better then I was last year - but I think it doesn't just have to be the outside (I do think they can be very interlinked but won't go into that now!) For example, look at ww with all her new social events and trying new things - that's not necessarily an external thing but I would most definately class it as fabbing. Is there something you've always wanted to try, something that you used to love but have let slip due to running around after everyone else, or just something that might catch your eye but you wouldn't normally do. What do you think would make you feel better about yourself?

dannie

Hi folks,

Just been catching up with your posts thanks. I've not posted for awhile as I tend to do well for awhile and then everything collapses leaving me extremely disheartened. Consequently, I see two poles:"fab" to "frump". I think what mugwump79 says about one's opionion of self is also central in my case but nevertheless will continue searching to solve this.

Good Luck all.

Everhopeful09

Hi All,

Still lurking & reading


Plenty of fabbing tonight as off to a wedding reception in a rather nice hotel


Can I ask for some advice on what to wear please as stressing over it!


Do I have to wear a dress and if so can it be black ( i know your not meant to wear black to weddings but this is the disco bit!), not really sure what else I could wear. I'm more comfortable in jeans/trousers but that's not very dressy is it.


Knowing me a mad dash to shops on way home, when I have something in my wardrobe I could wear! xx

Bitsy_Beans

Everhopeful - One of my witnesses at my wedding wore a black dress. I personally don't think it looks that odd, so wear it if you like

LL sorry to hear things are going pear shaped but good that you have a plan

<waves at all the other fabbers> sort of lurking, not making loads of progress, feel like each day I am fighting inertia and not sure why. Anyway am off for weekend in North Devon. It's raining but I don't care, I need to see the sea, always makes me feel good.
Will try and catch up next week and put my best foot forward to making permament changes

WelshWoofer

Everhopeful - I think a black dress to an evening do is absolutely fine. Or trousers and a nice top? Probably not jeans but anything else that looks like you've made a bit of an effort I'm sure is ok. TBH, I coudn't tell you what anyone was wearing in my wedding - I was just bothered about whether they had a good time (before I got sozzled....:rotfl:).

LL - sounds like you have a plan and if anyone likes a project its you!

With regards to fabbing and the approaching solstice, I'm not particularly thinner than I was (although would like to be), but my appearance has improved (taking more care with hair, nails, makeup etc), I think I dress better making more effort with colour and general effort levels but the main fabbing has come in the form of confidence. 6 months ago I was sitting in with the dog and watching the world pass me by, now I'm out meeting people and trying things that I wouldn't have usually (some with more success than others:p) and making myself happy. In fact, I've just come off the phone from a new friend (met in the last couple of months) having a good chat and arranging a night out - I hadn't even met her until fairly recently and now we're actually getting on like a house on fire. Who would have thought it!

No big plans for the weekend, my night out tomorrow has been postponed until next Saturday and no Spice things booked. I'll have a look to see if any of the meetup groups are doing anything interesting. The weather may dictate the weekend though....

Savvy_sewing

SPEED READING- SORRY.
So much happens in all of our lives.
LL I would be worried about your health, but understand that you have the skill set. Good luck in what ever you decide.

I have been reading a book, Feel the Fear....But do it Anyway, by Sue Jeffers.
I have found that it has helped me, and this time around when I was having the problems with my BF, I managed to work it all out, stay calm, and not even shed a tear! last time I was crying for ages. days I think. I mooned around the house and was in a hell of a state.
When my money had hic-cups and didnt arrive i would panic and have kittens.
this time I calmly rang them up, asked why, and it was in the same day.
One of the mantra's is I WILL HANDLE IT. What ever I have to face, if I say WILL instead of CAN. It is a better mind set.
There are a few others that they suggest, but so far, i just say I WILL HANDLE IT, I HAVE HANDLED IT.
Its been a great help, and those around me have noticed a big difference in my attitude to life and things around me.
I think I would need to keep up the mantra's though, or I may slip back. But then moving forward is never easy. There are always setbacks, and everyone gets them. I just have to remember that I am not the only one who gets them. Hard though that be at times.

I hope that you all have a better day tomorrow, and that it continues to improve all around. We all have so much hardship, a sort of solidaritary has been built around us all.

My daughters partner left her on the same day as mine did, which was a cruel blow to the pair of us, however out of it is the fact that I am going to go on holiday in his place, so I get an extra holiday, and as my funding has finally been sorted out, it meant that I could pay for us to have an upgrade and to stay an extra two nights, so we are getting a 6 nights stay in cornwall starting on Monday. Bonus.
I would not have been going if that bad experience hadnt happened for the pair of us.
I had my hair done on Wednesday, but didnt do the sunbed as I was busy dashing around for the family as usual.
I will have a go when I next go.
Time to change to take DS to work, I just spilt gravy from my lancashire hotpot all down my white top! twit that i am.

lessonlearned

WelshWoofer wrote: »

With regards to fabbing and the approaching solstice, I'm not particularly thinner than I was (although would like to be), but my appearance has improved (taking more care with hair, nails, makeup etc), I think I dress better making more effort with colour and general effort levels but the main fabbing has come in the form of confidence. 6 months ago I was sitting in with the dog and watching the world pass me by, now I'm out meeting people and trying things that I wouldn't have usually (some with more success than others:p) and making myself happy. In fact, I've just come off the phone from a new friend (met in the last couple of months) having a good chat and arranging a night out - I hadn't even met her until fairly recently and now we're actually getting on like a house on fire. Who would have thought it!

I think what you have achieved is fantastic, you've also been fabbing your house too don't forget;).

I think you are right though - it's not just about our appearances but also the growth in confidence, the making new friends, trying new things, socialising and getting out and about.

Having said that I do think our appearance, our health and our well being are the cornerstone and the early building blocks from where we start our journey. That's why I keep banging on about a bit of TLC, grooming and dressing well, exercise and healthy eating.

If you want to change your lives you need to start somewhere and taking care of yourself is a good place to start.

Looking back over the last few months I think most of us have made some real progress.

Some of us have got new jobs - evilsquid :j:j and Willow (do you still lurk sweetie, how are you doing).

I can tell that Lizzie is feeling better too.

Sparkles and Maman have done really well, reaching their target weights and fabbing away.

Bitsy & Everhopeful are plugging away - nibbling away at that elephant & making good steady progress.

(Everhopeful I think a black dress would look lovely for the evening do - I just wish I could wear black - it can be so elegant and classy).

And that's just off the top of my head. If I've not mentioned all your achievements I do apologise.

So you see !!!!!! and Dannie - it does come - it just takes patience;) oh and a bit of effort of course.:rotfl:

What about me????.

Well - I feel tons better. Even though things are coming at me from all sides again at the moment - I'm fine and well able to cope. I'm eating properly, no stomach problems or panic attacks, fewer headaches, fewer aches and pains - even my back is finally getting better:D

I'm going to be just fine. Even the thought of grappling with Social Services again doesn't faze me. I don't scare easily:rotfl::rotfl:

I had the usual last night. This time from my dad.

As soon as someone starts to experience something of what I've been through as regards caring for someone or dealing long term with hospitals and medics etc I always get the same comment.

They say things like "How on earth have you done this for so long, I've only been doing it for a couple of weeks - you've been doing it for years".

I just smile and say "You would be surprised at what you can achieve when you have to. You just dig deep and find the strength".

So ladies - as the Solstice beckons - one final push this weekend. Dig deep, find the strength, you are stronger than you know.