Frump to Fab - Summer Solstice Sizzler

fedupandskint

lessonlearned wrote: »

Yoga

It can be gentle and therapeutic or quite vigorous. Either way it's definitely worth doing a little now and then. It helps you relax and unwind, and keeps you flexible and mobile. It also helps with balance, very important to help minimise the risk of falls as we get older.

You

You are the only one who can make the changes you need to get you where you want to be, to live the life you want to live.

You are the one who has to make the choices and you have to follow through. No-one can do these things for us - it's up to us.

Could not have put it better myself

Although I don't always take notice of the You bit, its the bit I should take more notice of. See below....

Feeling a little down in the dumps today as my holiday is off as holiday companion has gone on a cheap week away instead and left me at home. Oh well, better focus on the Me/You and sort out next year's holiday instead - to faraway climes

Anyway, I'm off out with Mr Dog for an hour before the rain arrives YET again and then knuckle down for an hour's reading before making a very nice tea of homemade sweet and sour chicken.

Have just spent a little while meal planning for next week to use up what's both in the cupboards and the freezer. All done now.

lessonlearned

fedupandskint wrote: »

Feeling a little down in the dumps today as my holiday is off as holiday companion has gone on a cheap week away instead and left me at home. Oh well, better focus on the Me/You and sort out next year's holiday instead - to faraway climes

Oh what a shame. Can you manage one of the those last minute deals say a night or two in a nice spa type hotel in a pretty/historic town near you. Just a little mini-break to give you a boost and keep you going till the "faraway climes" next year.

podperson

LL - it does seem like everything happens at once sometimes doesn't it? I hope this doesn't come across as negative but please look into things in great detail before you think about bringing your OH home. I can only imagine that it must be heartbreaking to know that he's a home and to get frustrated if they don't seem to be caring for him as well as you do. Am I right in thinking though that you are going to need to get quite a large amount of help from social services/private carers to even look at him coming home - you can't be doing your back in trying to lift/move him all the time etc. Also, I'm not very well up on his illness but I believe you said it is degenerative? Is he going to progress to the point where he will need 24/7 care, so will you need someone to 'cover' you whenever you need to leave the house, whether to visit your parents or even just nip to the shops. I know it's not the same situation but before my grandma went into a home she had some rather nasty falls that literally occurred in the 10mins she would be left alone between the shifts of carers and family members. Don't want to overstep and tbh if anyone could manage it I'm sure it would be you - but don't want to see you sacrifice your own health and well-being doing it x

!!!!!! - I'm not a massive fan of self-help books, tbh I think most of the time we already know what we need to do, it's just the doing it - and as mentioned above YOU are the only one who can do it. You are a wonderful, fabulous person who is worthy of being whatever she wants to be! If you don't want to be the 'chubby one' then there is no reason for you to be her anymore. Try and visualise - think how fab you will look when you lose the weight, maybe pick a date that's coming up like a holiday or a special occasion and determine that you will look fab for it, and then think of that when you're tempted to reach for the biscuit tin

Sparkles - how inconsiderate of your friend :mad: Could you not ask someone else to go, or go by yourself - even if it's just for a weekend away instead? I know I tend to be quite happy exploring new places on my own, though I guess it's perhaps not for everyone.

WelshWoofer

Some fantastic advice from Pod there - she's had her weetabix today! Very well put.

LL - I'm with Pod here, its a huge commitment and your life would be completely dependent on help from others. Please think carefully about it and don't run yourself into the ground, after all, your OH needs you and if you're out of action who'll do it then? Could you not do weekends at home or something similar instead? Giving you both the best of both worlds? He'd be happy knowing you are well and can manage and you'd be looking forward to the visits home and happy to see each other. See it as reverse respite maybe?

Sparkles - what a BUMMER about the holiday. What about trying a singles holiday instead? Saying that, I still haven't booked mine but plan to.

Had a good day today - its funny that as soon as the period starts I feel much better. Work went well, I had one of those days when everything goes right and you look really organised and in control:)
Food has been better than yesterday - not perfect but much better. Just back from a big walk with the woofer and will do the Shred later.

Off to mow the front lawn before it rains......

lessonlearned

podperson wrote: »

LL - it does seem like everything happens at once sometimes doesn't it? I hope this doesn't come across as negative but please look into things in great detail before you think about bringing your OH home. I can only imagine that it must be heartbreaking to know that he's a home and to get frustrated if they don't seem to be caring for him as well as you do. Am I right in thinking though that you are going to need to get quite a large amount of help from social services/private carers to even look at him coming home - you can't be doing your back in trying to lift/move him all the time etc. Also, I'm not very well up on his illness but I believe you said it is degenerative? Is he going to progress to the point where he will need 24/7 care, so will you need someone to 'cover' you whenever you need to leave the house, whether to visit your parents or even just nip to the shops. I know it's not the same situation but before my grandma went into a home she had some rather nasty falls that literally occurred in the 10mins she would be left alone between the shifts of carers and family members. Don't want to overstep and tbh if anyone could manage it I'm sure it would be you - but don't want to see you sacrifice your own health and well-being doing it x

.

Thanks for that pp No, you are not being negative at all - just practical. These are all things I have to take on board. As you can imagine everything you have said is swirling round my head at the moment - hence the not being able to sleep. I don't know quite what to do but I do know that my conscience will not let me stand by and do nothing. I shall have to intervene but I will do so on the strict understanding that I will not attempt to do everything myself, and that there will have to be sufficient help available. I have well and truly learnt my lesson.

Even though we expected something like this any time soon my sister and I are still quite shell-shocked. Mum is physically not as bad as first feared but is clearly further down the dementia route than she was a couple of weeks ago - possibly as a result of the stroke. And of course, yes OH's illness is degenerative. He has clearly gone downhill too lately. It's been a long time since he could be safety left on his own. The irony is of course is that in the nursing home he does spent quite worryingly large chunks of time alone in his room. More worryingly is that Dad has become almost child-like in his dependency. He's just no longer competent - don't know whether this is temporary shock or again something more sinister.

It's worse than having three toddlers. :rotfl: The problem is you can't just scoop them up like you can a toddler - when they fall you just can't move them.;)

The thing is - and I don't want to sound like Mother Theresa here - what do you do when the hospitals and nursing homes just don't deliver the level of care you want for your loved ones. I just feel compelled to take over - must be the control freak in me.:o

I'm no nurse but it's more than ironic that in the three years that OH was wheelchair bound and in my care he never had pressure sores, thrush infections of the mouth and genital area, bleeding gums, eye infections, neck rashes, falls, cuts and bruises. As for letting my mum fall out of bed when they were told she was at risk and needed bed rails - well - what can you say.

She hadn't had a shower or her hair washed for over 2 weeks until I passed comment. Lo and behold they finally gave her a bath and washed her hair the next day................

I know the nurses and carers are stretched - although many of them do seem to find plenty of time to stand around chatting to each other rather than talking to their charges.

I know I must sound like an awful nagging relative but really it's not good enough. What happens to the poor devils who have no-one to advocate for them. Some of mum's nurses have already started rolling their eyes and sighing when they see me and my sister approach. Frankly I don't care. I just want my mum looked after properly.

I know it's going to take an army of carers and helpers, we are also going to have to find more suitable accommodation for both the short and longer terms.

I've spoken to Social Services re OH. They are happy to help me bring him home again and they are going to meet with me on 29th June to discuss ways and means, so I've got time to do some thinking and a bit of research. Sis and I are in the process of liaising with the hospital re setting up a meeting with SS re mum and dad. I just don't know how the cut-backs are going to affect any carer's funding or provision of equipment.

Perhaps I should just open my own nursing home and be done with it. After all that is what Duncan Ballantyne did. Apparently when a relative of his went into care he was so appalled at the standard of care he bought his first nursing home.

On a more serious note I have spotted a large 5 bedroom 2 bathroom bungalow for rent. (As a temporary measure). I have spoken to the agent who has had a chat with the owner about making a couple of changes, for example switching a bath to a walk in shower. I'm hoping to set up a viewing in the next few days.

This might be a good solution for say 6 months to a year or so - whilst we sell mum and dad's cottage and find them sheltered accommodation and whilst I either get changes made to this house or sell up and buy something more wheelchair user friendly.

We can all live together for a while :eek: (I'll probably go quietly bonkers).

I'm still mulling that one over.............

verynewmoneysaver

So sorry to hear about your Mum and Dad LL. It must be so hard for you. I find it bad enough with just my elderly parents to worry about. I hope you don't take on too much and make yourself ill. Take care.

fedupandskint

Thanks for all the kind comments. I think I'll try a week another month or too later and have a look for a weekend away somewhere nice and relaxing too.

Plus funds are tight at the moment saving up for a new door which costs a fortune so no expensive holidays for now. Cancelled the week off at work and left 2 days on to have a couple of long weekends and one will be very long indeed as the assignment is due in on that day (last one for this year). The next 2 weekends are going to be long indeed writing and submitting so really looking forward to a day off where I don't have to wait in for appointments or think about studying or study!

fedupandskint

Feeling better today after blowing the diet yesterday with not very nice biscuits, not too good a day overall.

Its a very wet and grey day here today, and I'm determined to have a fabulous day as we zoom towards the last week before the Summer Solstice

Meaning today is a mix of plenty of reading for assignment, a bit of exercise, collect sale clothes order if arrived, return other other which is too big, a little bit of cleaning and ironing.

Hoping to get somewhere close to this for a much more relaxed nights sleep than last night!

podperson

Morning all,

WW - I hate weetabix so it can't be that :rotfl:think I was rather hormonal yesterday, had my depo jab on Wed and it's strange because it doesn't normally affect me much but think it must have done this time as I seemed drastically over-emotional lol.

LL - I'm glad you're thinking everything through, tbh if you were talking about all 3 of them living with you in the one house I think you would need to be looking at live in carers, which is obviously a huge things having other people living in your house - it sounds like neither your mum nor your OH can be left on their own and you'd perhaps be struggling to watch them both all the time. I don't envy you hun, make sure you take care of yourself while you're running round like a mad thing x

Sparkles - good luck with the assignment! I'm still debating whether to start a new OU course in Oct. Tbh I'm not sure if I have enough time to devote to one at the moment, but if I take a break then I think I'll go onto the new higher rates so it's a bit of a tricky one.

Anyway, ended up having a fairly quiet night last night - didn't go to the film thing in the end, was debating it but rather tired plus OH was meeting the rest of his filming group there and there was a networking thing afterwards so I didn't really want him to feel like he had to 'stay with me' all night rather then going and meeting new contacts. Managed to make a start on blitzing the bedroom - has got into a complete state lately and now the door has come away and I'm actually too embarrassed to get someone out until the room is at least reasonably tidy Managed about another thousand words on my short story - not sure if I mentioned but is for a submission call and due on the 10th July so I have a month to do a 10-15k Christmas story - am finding it very odd to try and write 'festively' in the middle of June Anyway, started on Monday and am just over 4k now so isn't coming along too badly. Did get distracted by it though as was going to do some fabbing last night while I had the house to myself and ended up with nothing done! Hope everyone else is doing better on that front then me x

lizzie157

fedupandskint wrote: »

Cancelled the week off at work and left 2 days on to have a couple of long weekends and one will be very long indeed as the assignment is due in on that day (last one for this year). The next 2 weekends are going to be long indeed writing and submitting so really looking forward to a day off where I don't have to wait in for appointments or think about studying or study!

Good luck!:) Have just done my last one until October. It's rather strange having that extra time now I haven't got books to pour over!

Have put it to good use this morning though and done a few stretches for the back.

LL I do agree with you about the level of care in a lot of hospitals and care homes. Funnily enough I passed the one where my DD1 did her work experience the other day and she happenend to be with me. She commented on the poor folk in there as she said no-one paid them any attention exept for when they were washing/feeding/dressing them. She said they were plonked in front of the tv and that was it. I know not everywhere's the same but it is a worry as obviously you don't know what's happening when you're not there and in lots of cases the person living there can't tell you. I really feel for you it's a dilema, but as others have said you do need to think about yourself a bit in the equation as you need to be healthy to look out for them. (this coming from someone who finds it v. difficult to think about their own needs:o) Take care x

PP my bedrooms much the same:o. Have been doing a bit of decluttering in the kitchen and L/ room so upstairs is next. Like you I need a repair doing (mine's a socket) but the repairman would break his neck getting over my junk atm. :o
Good luck with the writing!

Got some more decluttering to do today. As it's footie again tonight might have a bit of pampering while it's on (I'm not a footie fan).
Take care x