Frump to Fab - Summer Solstice Sizzler

WelshWoofer

Sparkles - get you in your shorts - va va voom!:beer:

Pod - I have another half term to go before the proper summer hols - but yr 11 left today so it will get a bit easier.

Will return later will a proper post

lessonlearned

Hi Everyone

Just a quick catch up to offer a bit of virtual tea and sympathy to Lizzie - sounds like just one of those days but here's the thing - they are happening rather regularly aren't they.

Sorry can't advise about ponies - I know next to nothing about animal care full stop.

However, re your OH I'm in total agreement with PP here. He needs to get a grip, he needs a serious reality check. Who does he think you are, Wonder Woman???

You've got a bad back, a poorly shoulder and a finger that's taking an age to heal and he doesn't do a thing to help you. Worse still he shows no empathy, no kindness, no love or affection, no respect not even any interest, in either you or your daughter.

Like PP says either he helps you pronto or he'll end up doing the lot. Personally I'd let him. For goodness sake - it sounds like you run the whole show - it's time he grew a backbone and starting acting like a man instead of behaving like a spoilt child.

Let him huff and puff till the cows come home. If he won't help you then let him whistle, just do things for you and your DD. In fact your DD can help too - it won't kill her.

You need to stop running yourself ragged for everyone else. How on earth are you going to get better.

Now I know that your husband is unable to work but surely he can do something. He can cook a simple meal, even if it's just a sandwich or something on toast, he can run round with the hoover, wash up occasionally, load the washing machine, peg the washing out. All those lifting, twisting, bending movements that you are currently struggling with. They're not rocket science, a child of 10 can do all of this.

Or is that the problem - does he think it is beneath him to help maintain a nice clean home and help put a meal on the table now and again.

My OH always helped out, even when he worked full time and I was a SAHM. We used to do it together, chatting and laughing as we went along. Surely this is normal in a relationship - working together.

He helped me at weekends because then we got through the chores quicker which meant that we had time to go out as a family and have some fun.

It's a lovely evening - pour yourself a glass of wine or tea if you prefer and sit out in the garden for a while. Let him whistle. Let them make you a meal - something on toast or a simple salad. They can manage that between them.

Take a breather tonight - they can shift for themselves just this once. Don't be a doormat - you're a wife not a slave.

Sorry - rant over. I'm sorry if I've overstepped the mark but it just makes me so angry to hear how you are treated at times. It's not on, your husband does not deserve you and you do not deserve to be treated so shamefully.

As for not taking in interest in "family matters" - what does interest him, clearly not you or your children, his home or surroundings. What on earth does he do all day.

Anyway I have had a good productive day, three loads of washing, a pile of ironing, and some serious - read back-breaking - gardening. I'll sleep tonight............

Have eaten simply and sensibly - still no bread. Plenty of fruit, salads and vegetable. Lots of water, some low cal drinks.

Sparkles - in shorts, in public. Oh la, la, la. Good for you girl. :rotfl:

My short wearing is stricly confined to the back garden.

fedupandskint

lessonlearned wrote: »

Sparkles - in shorts, in public. Oh la, la, la. Good for you girl. :rotfl:

Why thank you!

I too have had very productive day off. Qualified for free insulation after they had a look in the loft, all supermarket shopping done and finished, ironing all done, bedding changed and washed, clothes put away, bedroom and living cleaned and hoovered, bins emptied, long walk with the dog and up to the supermarket.

Might clean the bathroom in a bit and leave the kitchen as per usual to think about doing tomorrow.

WelshWoofer

Talking about supermarket shopping I'm just back from Aldi and got two big bags full of fruit, veg and salad for £10. Their F&V is such good value that there's no excuse for not eating it.
I got 2 packs of strawbs, raspberries, apples, bananas, mango, pineapple, satsumas, grapes, tomatoes, cucumber, baking potatoes, salad bag and beetroot. Think of the vitamins in that lot!

The Super Six offers change on Sunday so there'll be new bargains to be had then.
This weekend I'm going to attempt a bit of a detox type thing with no alcohol ( or fags:p), no carbs and only fruit, eggs and cheese for protein and calcium, veg and salad as food. Only for two days to help me clear out my system of all of the cr*p its been provided with over recent weeks.:o
Then its sensible eating from then on (thats the plan anyway).

Just a quick question - how do you know when a mango is ripe? Its not something I've ever bought before but I do like it and at 39p its worth a try at home.

Bitsy_Beans

Lizzie my positivity hit the floor with yours coming out in sympathy. However I'll not have you knackering your shoulder struggling so am prepared to don my size 8's (yes my feet are that big ) and give him a kick up the 'arris. Huffing and puffing indeed. Hope things work out with the pony xx

Fedp well done on the shorts :T

WW I love Aldis fruit and veg, especially their pink lady apples, bargain price

the_cat

Hi all - long time no speak. I've really fallen off the fab wagon recently and haven't even been lurking:eek: Still I'm back now with renewed enthusiasm. It turns out that I probably have high cholesterol in the family as DS who's 18 has just had his tested and it came out high. Appointment next week to see docs but this has really spurred me into making the whole family's diet that bit better. Feel a bit dim not having realised this before but better late than never eh?

Weight and exercise levels ok so that's a plus:D Other fabbing very intermittent so work to do there!


Lizzie I partly delurked because of your post. I've worked with horses a lot over the years and am pretty experienced. How old is your DD? How much pony care has she done? I would say that most horses/ponies have a bit of a 'see what I can get away with' attitude and need experienced handling to stop them getting into bad habits. Your DD does not sound very experienced and you being a non-horsey and slightly nervous will not have gone unnoticed by the pony! The trouble is, if an experienced, confident person tried to put the bridle on (or whatever other problem it may be) there is quite likely not to be a problem as pony will suss that 'this one knows the ropes, best not push it'
Even the most placid pony will get into bad habits in the hands of the inexperienced. Which could be dangerous and at best will ruin the enjoyment your DD has at present.
I would suggest you call it quits and get her more involved with the local riding school (which often have a pony club attached, no pony of your own required) until she is a bit older and wiser

lizzie157

podperson wrote: »

Aww Lizzie, hope DD isn't too upset. It does sound like the pony has perhaps been allowed it's own way for a while so would need a bit of a firm hand - is it quite a young horse? did the owner say whether it has always had problems with being bridled? If it's quite young then could be an issue with them not training it properly in the first place, or if it's just been allowed to laze around in the field for a while then could have just got into bad habits lately - which technically should be easier to break them of. What's the set-up with where they are now, is it just grazing and a stall or a proper stable? If it's the latter might be worth asking some of the staff there if they would be willing to give you a bit of a hand with him, people working in places like that usually do cause they love horses so probably won't mind and might even be used to bringing him in and out etc as a lot of owners ask the staff to do it on occasion if they can't make it.

Now, second part - you may think I'm being harsh but you need to get your OH told that you need some help at the moment. He has the option of giving you a bit of a hand now or waiting until your back/shoulder completely goes and then he can do everything :mad: If he huffs and puffs while he's doing something then just ignore it, it's classic behaviour to try and get out of doing it - don't let him get away with it (and I know OH can be guilty of this as well, I used to give in but now I just don't rise to it and eventually he just shut up and got on with it!)

Go do something for you - paint your nails, have a bath, listen to your cd, whatever - whatever it takes to give you a little boost, if you feel guilty then just think that you deserve it today! (sorry, am in bossy mode today :rotfl:) Take care hun x

It's a field with a stable in, no one except the owner to help out and think the fact that she's nervous has contributed to the problem tbh. Suppose alarm bells should have rung when she was unable to tack up first time we went. Not really sure how old pony is,(should have asked but presumed as it was purchased for an 10 yr old it would be fairly calm).

Yes am sure H does do it so I'll get on with it -even moaned about having to go and open door with tv when it was picked up:mad:, obviously I couldn't do it due to back. The reason I mostly give in is so the kids don't suffer as I'm not sure he would actually bother to do anything.

lessonlearned wrote: »

Hi Everyone

Just a quick catch up to offer a bit of virtual tea and sympathy to Lizzie - sounds like just one of those days but here's the thing - they are happening rather regularly aren't they.
yes they do seem to be

Sorry can't advise about ponies - I know next to nothing about animal care full stop.

However, re your OH I'm in total agreement with PP here. He needs to get a grip, he needs a serious reality check. Who does he think you are, Wonder Woman???

You've got a bad back, a poorly shoulder and a finger that's taking an age to heal and he doesn't do a thing to help you. Worse still he shows no empathy, no kindness, no love or affection, no respect not even any interest, in either you or your daughter.

No he doesn't. He'll drop us off at riding, take me to hospital etc but none of it is done in good grace.

Like PP says either he helps you pronto or he'll end up doing the lot. Personally I'd let him. For goodness sake - it sounds like you run the whole show - it's time he grew a backbone and starting acting like a man instead of behaving like a spoilt child.

Let him huff and puff till the cows come home. If he won't help you then let him whistle, just do things for you and your DD. In fact your DD can help too - it won't kill her.

The kids do help when asked (occasionally offer ), but when their Dad sits on a**se it makes it hard to encourage them to do things.

You need to stop running yourself ragged for everyone else. How on earth are you going to get better.

Now I know that your husband is unable to work but surely he can do something. He can cook a simple meal, even if it's just a sandwich or something on toast, he can run round with the hoover, wash up occasionally, load the washing machine, peg the washing out. All those lifting, twisting, bending movements that you are currently struggling with. They're not rocket science, a child of 10 can do all of this.

Or is that the problem - does he think it is beneath him to help maintain a nice clean home and help put a meal on the table now and again.

My OH always helped out, even when he worked full time and I was a SAHM. We used to do it together, chatting and laughing as we went along. Surely this is normal in a relationship - working together.

He helped me at weekends because then we got through the chores quicker which meant that we had time to go out as a family and have some fun.

It's a lovely evening - pour yourself a glass of wine or tea if you prefer and sit out in the garden for a while. Let him whistle. Let them make you a meal - something on toast or a simple salad. They can manage that between them.

Take a breather tonight - they can shift for themselves just this once. Don't be a doormat - you're a wife not a slave.

Sorry - rant over. I'm sorry if I've overstepped the mark but it just makes me so angry to hear how you are treated at times. It's not on, your husband does not deserve you and you do not deserve to be treated so shamefully.

As for not taking in interest in "family matters" - what does interest him, clearly not you or your children, his home or surroundings. What on earth does he do all day.

He sits watching politics mostly. He will peg out washing, hoover, and put washing on (if I've sorted it out into a wash load ), but if something upsets the routine everything goes out the window and he does nothing. I have become a doormat, maybe some of it is me. He just irritates me mostly. The house is untidy, ( I had started decluttering in kitchen but due to back haven't got any further), managed to keep that tidyish though. And no it isn't a normal relationship and have only realised in last few years that it probably never was.

Anyway I have had a good productive day, three loads of washing, a pile of ironing, and some serious - read back-breaking - gardening. I'll sleep tonight............

Hope your back doesn't suffer too much

Have eaten simply and sensibly - still no bread. Plenty of fruit, salads and vegetable. Lots of water, some low cal drinks.

Sparkles - in shorts, in public. Oh la, la, la. Good for you girl. :rotfl:

My short wearing is stricly confined to the back garden.

the_cat wrote: »

Hi all - long time no speak. I've really fallen off the fab wagon recently and haven't even been lurking:eek: Still I'm back now with renewed enthusiasm. It turns out that I probably have high cholesterol in the family as DS who's 18 has just had his tested and it came out high. Appointment next week to see docs but this has really spurred me into making the whole family's diet that bit better. Feel a bit dim not having realised this before but better late than never eh?

Sorry to hear this but at least now you can address it and hopefully the whole family will benefit.

Weight and exercise levels ok so that's a plus:D Other fabbing very intermittent so work to do there!


Lizzie I partly delurked because of your post. I've worked with horses a lot over the years and am pretty experienced. How old is your DD? How much pony care has she done? I would say that most horses/ponies have a bit of a 'see what I can get away with' attitude and need experienced handling to stop them getting into bad habits. Your DD does not sound very experienced and you being a non-horsey and slightly nervous will not have gone unnoticed by the pony! The trouble is, if an experienced, confident person tried to put the bridle on (or whatever other problem it may be) there is quite likely not to be a problem as pony will suss that 'this one knows the ropes, best not push it'
Even the most placid pony will get into bad habits in the hands of the inexperienced. Which could be dangerous and at best will ruin the enjoyment your DD has at present.
I would suggest you call it quits and get her more involved with the local riding school (which often have a pony club attached, no pony of your own required) until she is a bit older and wiser

DD is 12 and has been riding just less than 2 yrs. She has helped out with a shetland that a friend had ( she's no longer close to this friend ), and been on a couple of pony days. This was why DD wanted to help at a stables/yard to gain experience in return for a pony/horse ride. Unfortunately this set up is inexperienced owner seeming to think we could help her tack up but not explaining before we got there that this was the case :eek:. I did feel ok confidencewise (until we had tried several times to bridle pony) and maybe if I wasn't being careful due to my health atm I may have been better able to cope, but again I was hoping for some guidance from the owner. We are looking into a pony club atm
( fortnightly as this is all we can afford). It's just a shame that this couldn't have supplemented that but thanks for the advice it has backed up what I thought.

Something else that makes this all the more annoying is that H knows someone whose wife has a few ponies /horses, some of which were for their kids who are no longer bothered. He has been told to take DD up for a look and she can have a ride. This lady sounds much more experienced and would probably be able to teach her the ropes. But has H taken DD has he heck. I've brought it up again and again in the last few weeks but "I was going to .......but it is going to be too wet/hot/windy" or some similar excuse.

At least if she went there occasionally she might not be as upset when I tell her that this pony isn't suitable.

Anyway off to bed for me. Thanks for the much needed support. x

lessonlearned

Have a good sleep and hope you feel better tomorrow.

I'm having one of my restless nights.:rotfl:

fedupandskint

Felt full of energy last night and reminded me this is how I ususally feel after that virus knocked me out for a few weeks. Its also 2mths since I last had a drink of alcohol too and I think this also has an impact on my energy levels as I feel like I could bounce around again - hence springing out of bed at 6am

Welll I cleaned the bathroom last evening leaving just the kitchen to do today, loaf has just finished in the breadmaker and I'm just deciding whether to go for a run or not - looks very warm outside. Nice though!

I'll be having a rerun of yesterday's outfit for town of my long skirt and a yellow top today with sandals for a wander around town and to buy some strawberries and yoghurt for snacks as I try and lose the 4lbs I've put on over the last month

Have a lovely day everyone in whatever way you can even if you're having a rough time like some of us are and its a little bit of lovlieness

WelshWoofer

Morning all! I'm another one up and about early. I've walked the dog before it gets too hot again, he's had a good half hour trot and will go for a big one this evening when its cooled down again. Being a furry woofer (wooly coat) he really struggles when its really hot.

Just waiting for the antihistamines to kick in properly - at the moment I'm a sneezing sniffing dribbling mess - not very fab:o

The fruitathon starts today - lets hope I'm pooping like a trooper by tomorrow and the lard miraculously melts away:rotfl: I need to get rid of the bloating before the proper weight loss can shift too - that flattening out always gives me a bit of inspiration to carry on so a little kick start won't hurt.

Hope everyone has a good day in the sun - a little bit of colour always makes you feel better doesn't it? Wobbly bits just look less awful when they're tanned. Best dig out the sun cream though - lobster isn't a good look. I'm olive skinned so once I get a bit of a tan going I just go browner but the initial day or two needs to be a bit more careful.
Enjoy the day! (it probably won't last!)