Frump to Fab - Summer Solstice Sizzler

carebabe

hi all
have not dropped by for a long time and need to catch up with the thread. feeling more positive this week as i have started on dukan diet. finding it quite easy to follow and it suits shiftworking. 8lbs lost so far.

podperson

Morning all,

Gorgeous day here as well - what I can see of it through the window at work at least

LL - sounds like a nice day yesterday, for some reason it just tends to seem right being by the water when it's this weather Think having a diet buddies plan on here sounds good - god knows I could do with some motivation/a kick up the you-know-what at the moment

WW - sounds like the healthy eating is going ok and am sure the walking and doggie bathing burned off a few cals

adelight - hope you're ok hun, agree that distractions and keeping busy is probably a good thing. Re moving, maybe use it as an opportunity to get out and meet new people, ww is doing amazing with it at the moment, I moved about 2 years ago and didn't know anyone so forced myself to join some clubs, classes etc. Was a bit scary at first but does get a little easier, I think it helps your attitude in general as well - now if I'm sat there thinking, should I do something or not and procrastinating will just force myself to stay 'stuff it, what's the worse that can happen' and go do it Whereabouts are you moving to, maybe you'll have a new neighbour on here

faithless - sorry to hear we have someone else with a bad back Sounds like you maybe went back into 'normal' life a bit too quick, have you been back to the doctor since or have any more physio booked? Am sure it will improve again, just hard to be patient sometimes

Lizzie - glad the pony thing seems to be going ok, though find it a little strange the owner would be so nervous with it - has she not had it long herself or does someone else normally look after it? The only thing I would say with it - and may be preaching to the choir here so apologise if so - from riding quite a bit when I was younger, is that even if you do feel a bit nervous then don't let it show as the horse can take advantage and then it can be harder to establish that you're 'the boss' again. Am sure it's a lovely pony but I think it's the same for most animals.

EH - glad you're still with us, hope things are going well? x

Wasn't feeling too great yesterday, had a splitting headache so didn't end up going to choir and had a very quiet night. Food-wise wasn't too bad, felt a bit too cacky to cook anything much so just had some veggie glamorgan sausages and a few potatoe wedges, but at least didn't snack later on Am doing some more photos and a bit of video for the fitness instructor tomorrow night, so am going along to one of her classes. She has 2 in a row and since I'm going to the first one, she said that if I'd like to stop for the second one I'd be welcome too - think it's Fitness Pilates so might give it a try. Depends if OH is coming along to give me a hand with the video part but even then suppose he's a big boy so can make it home on his own :rotfl:Have been talking a make up artist online and we are hopefully going to be doing a vintage style shoot in the next few weeks, aiming for the kind of ethereal style and shooting somewhere like the Botanic gardens so should be quite fun
Anyway, hope everyone has a good day, and if you're not stuck working like me then enjoy the sunshine

Skymist

I first posted about this last year, and as so many of you are going through such pain with your backs, you could do worse than give it a try!

A few years ago, I did an Alexander Technique evening class, and when my partner had a sciatica attack, with my prompting...'cos at first, he didn't think it would work....I'd help him get into the supine position:-

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iehtr8X3qMc

It's REALLY easy to do, realignes your spine, and at the end of the class, lots of people would drift off to sleep!!!LOL


But seriously it's EXCELLENT for relieving back ache/pains/sciatica

S

lizzie157

lessonlearned wrote: »

Here's a couple of mine -

When I have an episode i.e. acute pain say from twisting or pulling something I use alternating ice and heat packs. The ice reduces infamation and the heat relaxes muscles and eases pain.

When the pain is chronic and on-going I use heat packs, hot water bottles, wheat packs, hot baths. Then lots of gentle stretching. I find the key is to keep warm, so I wear a body warmer when it is really cold. Layer dressing is good, and thermal vests really help.

Re treatments I have over the years tried a chiropractor, physiotherapy and acupuncture. I find them all very helpful.

Posture - watch your posture. Try to stand and sit straight. I know it's hard when you are at work but try to avoid long periods slumped over a desk or computer. Get up and walk around every so often, do a few standing up stretches.

Unfortunately I can't cope with strong pain killers so just use paracetamol and then various pain relieving gels.

I take glucosmine for my joints especially my knees and find that does help.

I've been using heat patches( stocked up earlier) and I also take glucosamine, started this after my parents both started to suffer with their joints. Not sure if it's doing any good though since as well as the back I've also got the shoulder pain as well . Am still gonna continue though as I might be even worse without it. Really struggled with the shopping but did manage and have been resting this afternoon.:)

podperson wrote: »

Lizzie - glad the pony thing seems to be going ok, though find it a little strange the owner would be so nervous with it - has she not had it long herself or does someone else normally look after it? The only thing I would say with it - and may be preaching to the choir here so apologise if so - from riding quite a bit when I was younger, is that even if you do feel a bit nervous then don't let it show as the horse can take advantage and then it can be harder to establish that you're 'the boss' again. Am sure it's a lovely pony but I think it's the same for most animals

The pony belongs to her DD who's lost interest. She has had ponies/horses herself but a long time ago so she a bit nervous now. Think it's an age thing tbh cos I feel the same . She's a lovely pony so just think it's a matter of getting to know her and working to overcome her reluctance to be touched in the nose area. Have looked on youtube for tips so am gonna give it a go and see how we get on. Yes I think you are right need to firm but kind to win over her trust.

Skymist wrote: »

I first posted about this last year, and as so many of you are going through such pain with your backs, you could do worse than give it a try!

A few years ago, I did an Alexander Technique evening class, and when my partner had a sciatica attack, with my prompting...'cos at first, he didn't think it would work....I'd help him get into the supine position:-

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iehtr8X3qMc

It's REALLY easy to do, realignes your spine, and at the end of the class, lots of people would drift off to sleep!!!LOL


But seriously it's EXCELLENT for relieving back ache/pains/sciatica

S

Thanks for this Skymist not sure I can get down atm but when I'm improved a bit will give it a go- I'll try anything if it helps.

WelshWoofer

adelight wrote: »

WW what were the tickets for? that's a good profit! i got some blink182 tickets in the post that i bought for an ex-friend two years ago and had completely forgot about, i hate blink182 so gotta get on ebay!

Tickets were for Rhod Gilbert on Saturday - very happy with the money, didn't expect to get the money I spent on them let alone a profit:T
With regards to not knowing anyone - why not try what I did and join a few groups? I wouldn't say I know loads of people well now but at least I get and about. I'm not good at doing nothing and being bored either so it was either go slowly potty, do nothing but work or take the plunge and be brave. You can do it.:)

Today was bonkers - never had a day like it and am shattered, hence a kitkat and a glass of wine - everything else today has been ok though food wise. Jaclet spud with beans and cheese for tea.

My nails need doing desperately - thats a job for tonight whilst watching telly.

WelshWoofer

Well, after my last post I thought I'd take my own advice and make an effort to organise something with one of my new found acquaintances and it worked!
I texted a woman that I've met on a dog walk and later at the theatre who I seemed to hit it off with and suggested we walk our dogs this weekend and its developed into a dogwalk followed by a bite to eat and a drink on Saturday afternoon:beer:
I'm off to see a comedy play tomorrow night with a load of friends/colleagues that I organised too. I've found that you have to make the effort and when you do, more often than not, people are happy to be asked and want to do something.
A few months ago I wouldn't have dreamed of doing this so it just shows that a bit of confidence and bravery is all it takes.

I've also decided that if I can massage the finances to cover it I'm off on the holiday to Cyprus too - who knows, I might even enjoy it;)

Fab wise, nails are done and I've done absolutely no work tonight (rare for me) so have had a nice break. If only my lard would melt overnight......:rotfl:

evilsquid1603

i'm in a bit of a predicament, after 9 months of JSA I've finally been offered a job. i should be over the moon but I'm literally stuck between a rock and a hard place and I've no idea what to do for the best.

my first choice job has offered me a second interview next thurs so i cant really wait to give an answer to the job offer until i hear back from that interview as i will have prob started the job by the time i hear back because of the bank holiday.

the cons for the one I've been offered are massive. its a choice between a humongous commute (1.5 to 2 hours each way) or a 30 min commute, the cost of the train ticket for one of them is literally more than the cost of the train ticket to the other PLUS my £200 career development loan payment, one has categorically told me they do not train people so a training contract won't ever happen and the other the prospect of a training contract after 12 months. its also a difference between an area of law i have never done before and don't like or my favourite area that I'm absolutely passionate about and have done all my work experience in. the commute is also so long i would have to give up the air cadets as i wouldn't be getting home until 7.30pm every night.

i genuinely don't know what to do. I'm not in a position to contemplate taking a chance, saying no and hoping the second one says yes but, i don't want to put off either firm and i want to be as fair and honest as i can to them both.

i feel being honest with my first choice will be read as saying "i need to know right now, i cant wait" and will completely put them off. the other option i can think of is to sound out what the second interview is and not mention the other job, if its a massive thing with presentations and loads of other candidates then i know its another shortlist whittling down but if they say its a "meet the boss" type thing then i know i have a genuine chance that its a yes and a simple formality that someone else has to meet me before giving the go ahead and then if i mention i need to give a yes or no to another firm, i could ask if that can be brought forward.

i just don't know what to do for the best. i thought after all this id be chuffed to get a job and it'd be a clear cut only one will take me on so i wouldn't have a choice or worry anyway. just my luck to get all this!

lessonlearned

evilsquid1603 wrote: »

i feel being honest with my first choice will be read as saying "i need to know right now, i cant wait" and will completely put them off. the other option i can think of is to sound out what the second interview is and not mention the other job, if its a massive thing with presentations and loads of other candidates then i know its another shortlist whittling down but if they say its a "meet the boss" type thing then i know i have a genuine chance that its a yes and a simple formality that someone else has to meet me before giving the go ahead and then if i mention i need to give a yes or no to another firm, i could ask if that can be brought forward.

i just don't know what to do for the best. i thought after all this id be chuffed to get a job and it'd be a clear cut only one will take me on so i wouldn't have a choice or worry anyway. just my luck to get all this!

I have been in this predicament in the past and I did press for a quick decision. However, that was 30 years ago. Times have changed a lot since then i.e more candidates/fewer jobs so I'm not really sure how relevant my situation would be to you now.

It worked for me, although I could see they were a bit taken aback. In my case it was done on a face to face basis - actually within the interview situation so it was much easier for me to watch their reactions and gauge how far too push ifyswim. It's not something I would do in an email or letter, by phone would be better but face to face would be best.

Secondly I think the nature of the actual job plays a good part in this. Not sure what branch of law you are looking at and what other personal skills they are looking for in addition to your legal qualifications. But I would have thought that quiet confidence, a certain assertiveness, the ability to argue your case (i.e. your need for a quick decision), the ability to assess a situation and make appropriate decisions, the ability to ask for what you want, to be able to negotiate and compromise would be skills they are looking for.

My job was as a sales negotiator - a complete career change. I had previously been a legal secretary. The skills needed as a negotiator are tact, diplomacy, assertiveness without aggression, confidence and gravitas. By calmly explaining to them my predicament and my preferred outcome in an honest and straightforward manner I overcame any doubts as to my superiority over other candidates.

I later found out that the interviewer, who turned out to be my boss's boss, was apparently very impressed by my novel approach, once he had got over his initial surprise. He had been quite intimidating throughout the interview - some of our clients could be quite bolshie and it was his way of ascertaining whether or not candidates could cope. Apparently he liked my quiet confidence and that I had remained calm, unruffled and polite, and, on top of that, had the gall to press him for an immediate decision. :rotfl:

The interview was at midday, he gave me the usual "We'll let you know". I asked for a quick decision and explained why I needed to know quickly. He did a double take and told me he'd think about it. I explained that I was very sorry to press him and I had no wish to be rude but that I would need to know by 4-00pm that day.

It does sound high-handed and rather cheeky but it was the truth and it worked. I did tell him that I really would like the opportunity of working with them and that should an offer be forthcoming I would be delighted to accept.

BTW I always make a point of saying that in every interview - unless of course I don't want the job. You would be surprised how many people don't actually ask for the job or walk away from an interview giving the impression that they are not really that bothered. If you want the job you need to tell them so. And always, always thank them for their time.

How soon do you need to give an answer to the job offer. Can you stall for a day or two whilst you contact the preferred firm. I think your idea of finding out just what the second interview for your preferred job entails is a good idea, if they will divulge that information. How long after the second interview before you would be likely to receive a decision, will it have to go to the board or the senior partners for approval. Do you know what the financial package is yet, is it ok for you.

When you ask them for further details they might ask you why you want to know. This would be a good opener for you to explain your situation to them, and to tell them that you really want the job.

Your reasons why you much prefer this job should be confined to the actual job itself, it's your area of law, and of course that all important training contract. Really that is the decider isn't it, the chance it offers you for career progression in the long term.

Although the commute and the cost of travel is important to you right now - as far as they are concerned that's your problem so it's probably better that you don't bring that into the discussion.

I think if you are honest with them and tell them that it is really your dream job and how much you want it they should be impressed with your enthusiasm and commitment.

I am assuming they are aware that you have been out of work for a while and I'm sure they will appreciate your dilemma. However, it might not pay you to labour this point too heavily because you need to come over as confident and competent rather than desperate.

I've always found that when you really want something the best ploy is to be absolutely honest and tell them. Just laying your cards on the table can be very effective.

In fact that is usually exactly what I say. "I'm going to be completely honest with you and lay my cards on the table. This is what I would like .................." More often than not it works.

Good luck with this and whatever happens, you have done extremely well. Out of two interviews you have had one concrete job offer and one second interview. That is an excellent strike rate.

Well done. :T:T

dannie

Hi, since Tuesday, generally not "fabbing" but am enjoying observing nature in the garden and also eating more "healthier." Also, been taking some vits, minerals and using up herbs/spices to maybe assist better health.

Thanks for the "sympathies" and suggestions regarding back problems. WelshWoofer, yes my sleep pattern is normal. However, it is an "ordeal" actually getting into bed. Strangely, after a few hours, I can get out and back in again okay. As with lessonlearned, I feel a past back problem was the starting point of further reoccurences. I can also relate very much to what faithless says about her situation.

Anyway, regarding "fabbing" from the outside, some of my garments do make me feel better than others and I think my footwear should be improved for health reasons. Also, clothes that do not fit due to weight increase; lose the weight and keep them (hidden) for the meantime? Or recycle now?

Anyway, hope your day goes well.

evilsquid1603

thank you LL, i had a think last night and decided to accept the first one. the other one might still be a no in the end anyway and i'll be no better off. i'll still go to the other interview and if they give me a yes, i'll deal with it when it comes.

i should really think i'm lucky, i know there will be others who are still in my position desperate to get a paralegal job no matter where it is or what area of law.

the area doesn't really matter too much at this stage, its only at the Training Contract stage it starts to get important. this will be valuable experience that will mean i'm actually considered for a training contract at other firms and as long as my applications are targeted at firms that do the areas i want then its not like I'm giving up on what i want to do.