Frump to Fab - Summer Solstice Sizzler

LameWolf

podperson wrote: »

LW - I'm thinking of going to see Dark Shadows when I can squeeze it in, love Johnny Depp and Tim Burton, and while I don't think it seems like it'll be one of their best looks watchable at least Re the lack of sleep, do you struggle to go off or is waking up constantly. I know I'm really bad with actually getting to sleep, I can't seem to switch my brain off so will just lie there for hours with random cack swirling round my head. the only thing that seems to work for me is having something on in the background, usually the tv, as a bit of a distraction. OH will laugh at me cause it can't be anything too exciting or interesting as then I'll want to stay awake to watch it They have Big Bang on e4 lateish at the moment, which I like as it's listenable to but I'm seen them before so aren't dying to know what happens :rotfl:

Aww, Podders I don't envy your work situation. I think if it was me, I'd be looking for another job, and thinking well, if I need to learn a new role, etc, so be it - but that's how I'd be, only you can tell what's the right path for you. Have a Wolfy (((HUG))) to be going on with.:o

Re the sleep - it's both. I'm naturally nocturnal, is the bottom line. I've started taking Valerian mid-evening, so that it (hopefully) kicks in by the time we go to bed; but no, we get into bed and I'm wide awake! I usually start to drift off about 03:00, to be woken either by Mr LW getting up for the loo, or a nightmare. I can't just get up and do stuff, because I'd disturb Mr LW if I did that - also, it wouldn't address the problem of me sleeping during the morning. I so want to get to a stage where I'm on the same sleep/awake cycle as him. Doctor was worse than useless when I asked her - "Oh, just go to bed half an hour earlier" she said - all that does is give me an extra half hour of staring at the ceiling!!:mad: I think I'm also not helped by the long days alone, confined to the house, bored out of my tiny skull - I wonder if I'm falling asleep during the morning to shorten the time I'm stuck here on my own, iyswim (not consciously, but perhaps that's what my subconscious is doing).

Sorry, that turned into a proper diatribe, didn't it?:D

podperson

LW - I don't envy you, I have stages where I'm really bad with sleeping and it's not pleasant just end up feeling drained all the time. Have you tried mediation exercises or anything like that? Keep meaning to give them a go myself as a friend of mine keeps telling me how well they work for her. Also, probably easier said then done but try and avoid the naps in the day - I sometimes find if I knacker myself out during the day it helps a bit Do you have anything you can distract yourself with during the day?
Do agree though that some people are just more naturally nocturnal. I know if I'm doing my own work at weekends I tend to start about 11-ish or even lunchtime and then am quite happy to work through until evening and stop up late, I tend to find I have a more productive day as well - but then if it's Sunday I have to force myself to bed for work

LameWolf

Podders I used to regularly practise Shamanic journeying; but I find it very hard to do lately - don't know what's wrong.:(

I do try hard not to nap during the day; unfortunately, with lupus, the fatigue can suddenly hit you like a sledgehammer, and there's no choice. It's not "I'll sit down in half an hour" or "I'll rest when I've finished this task" either - it's lie down NOW or fall down.

My typical day of late is:

05:15 first alarm goes off; Mr LW pours Oramorph to alleviate the pain enough for me to actually function, and gets me my first coffee, and quite often the second one, too.;) Flex as many joints as possible enough to move without falling flat on my @$$ when I try to stand up.

06:00 Get up, have assistance with bathing and dressing, ensure Mr LW is fed and has everything he needs for work, eat breakfast if I can (live yogurt with a little HM jam for flavour + a small handful of bran flakes in it), wash up breakfast things, empty washing machine (it's on overnight) if necessary, get him to help hang up wet washing, tip him out of the door at 07:30, collapse on sofa in exhaustion.

11:00, OR when he phones me, wake, with thumping headache and tinnitus "pulsing" iyswim; swear at having lost yet another morning, scrat around to catch up, log onto internet, do email etc, do a spot of URGENT housework (like today, getting the pizza dough underway), have lunch (this typically being a slice of HM bread with a slice of Quorn and some cucumber in it).

By now, it's usually about 14:00, and I have the afternoon to clean the day's allotted room (I do one room per day - before, I was trying to clean the whole bungalow in a day - not a good idea!), do half-hour yoga, do my Brain Training, and any baking that's needed for Mr LW's lunchbox, and other sundry household tasks.

This takes me til roughly 18:00, when, unless Mr LW is on late shift, it's time to start dins. Any outstanding tasks have to be either slotted in while dins is cooking, or deferred to next day.

MSE posting happens when I have to take 5-mins or so time-out because I'm running short of breath or hurting.:D

Bitsy_Beans

LW I wonder if you produce enough melatonin at bedtime. DS doesn't as those on the ASD spectrum don't hence his late bedtime for a child his age. You can buy it here in the UK but I suspect it's imported and therefore unlicenced. The only other place is GP who might prescribe it. I am not sure if you can be tested but in order to boost melatonin levels you need to be exposed to bright light during the day and keep it dark at night as the light levels indicate what should be produced by the brain at the right time. Bananas are good for helping melatonin production. This might not help in the slightest but food for thought xx

lessonlearned

Good afternoon everyone

Thanks for the reminder WW.

Underwear.

How often do we skimp on underwear and make do with tired old bras and saggy knickers.

We tell ourselves it's extravagant, we live alone so no-one sees us, we've been with our partners for years and they don't mind or notice anyway.

Wrong on all 3 counts.

You don't have to spend a fortune on underwear - you can of course spent a small fortune on beautifully lingerie - but basic everyday underwear is ridiculously cheap. A couple of years ago ASDA were selling a pack of thee plain white basic knickers for £1.

I stocked up and they are still going strong.

I know that many people do struggle to get good bras either because of your shape, back problems or you may have had a mastectomy or similar. Obviously in this case you have to buy what you need and pay the extra.

For most people though there are plenty of places to buy reasonably priced bras and undies.

Like many women i am an M&S girl but I'm also a big fan of ASDA for undies. A pack of 5 of knickers start at around £5 and I buy they firm support bras for around £6.

I don't bother with Primark because they don't last as long, although I sometimes buy their skimpy strapped T-shirt/vests. In the past I have brought thermals from Primark and have been quite happy with them.

So come on ladies - new underwear needn't break the bank,t needn't be an extravagance. No-one sees it?? So what - do it for you. As for your long suffering partners - do they really want to see you in saggy bras with dingy straps and faded knickers.

Of course they don't. Give 'em a treat. :rotfl:

You wouldn't let your children or partner wear horrible worn out undies so don't do it to yourself.

LameWolf

Bitsy many thanks for that; it's deffo something to think about. I love bananas, so am more than happy to eat them if it'll help; I wonder if it'd be worth my while allocating some of my DLA (while it still exists!!) for a light-box - I do also suffer with SAD, and as you know have to be careful about actual sun exposure, so bright light during the day should be do-able that way. *Makes mental note to look into this*

My usual GP is still on maternity leave at present, though I'm told she's coming back in September, and the one I'm seeing instead isn't much good - I wouldn't even have been referred to the PT if Mr LW hadn't stuck his oar in; but I might just mention the word "melatonin" to Dr F when she returns.;) As you say, there's always t'internet, but I'm a little wary of adding something purchased that way to my already impressive tablet count.;)

Interestingly, and just as an aside, I have extremely good night vision; something that always amazes Mr LW. He needs to put the light on to move around at night, I do not.:D

evilsquid1603

well i've not had a very fab week.

still heard nothing back from the firm who interviewed me last fri. i emailed them this afternoon to ask when i can expect to hear back and they've ignored me so I'm assuming that I've been rejected. i think its an appalling way to behave though, i know I'm only a lowly paralegal candidate to them, but surely its common courtesy to either give a me straight no or just to send a quick email reply saying sorry, we haven't decided yet. :mad: its been wearing me down all week, every time my phones gone, I've got an email or the post has come I've been thinking it might be their reply.

one of my friends has got me an interview for her firm tomorrow but its in liverpool and would mean a manchester to liverpool commute every day. plus one of my friends did that last year because he worked out it was cheaper to stay at home in mcr and commute over for lectures than live over there and he spend £2,500 on a train pass. add that to the humongous student loans i have to pay off and I'm worried all my wages will disappear before i even get them. still, i suppose atm, a job is a job!

also got though for the psychometric tests for a graduate job i applied for in the civil service but that wouldn't be starting until aug/sept so is of no use to me now.

Bitsy_Beans

Hugs for Podders and Evilsquid xxxx ES it's totally unprofessional IMO to not have the courtesy to respond, even if it's to say thanks but no thanks. T0ssers :mad:

lessonlearned

LW

Please do not be offended by what I'm going to write.

I've read your post very carefully and mulled it over and I've a few suggestions to offer. These are given in the spirit of friendship and are by no means an implied criticism of the way you live.

I'll try and keep them brief - without great long explanations so if I seem a bit brusque I'm sorry. I have no wish to be rude - I just have my "practical head" on.

My nickname is "Capable Kate" - because in our family I'm the one who always grasps the nettle - no matter how unpleasant. Dad lives in fantasy land, mum and sis go to pieces and I'm the one who comes up with the practical solutions.

I'm the 11 year old who rang for the ambulance for my dad whilst my mum indulged in hysterics. So forgive me if I seem a bit "hard-headed".

Practical is what I do.:o

First - Bitsy beat me to this one - but yes take a look at Melatonin. Some GP's do prescribe it, but I think the circumstances have to be right and care has to be taken.

Your Meds

Is it time to review your meds - could something there be the culprit, stopping you from getting off to sleep. You seem to take an awful lot of meds - might some be interacting badly. If you can't face questioning the GP you can ask the chemist to take a preliminary look. There might be something blindingly obvious that has simply been missed or overlooked.

My dad has had this problem - and you know who has twice now had to wade in like John Wayne to sort it out.

Your Diet

I know you are veggie so perhaps your diet might be a bit carb heavy. Carbs are great for quick release energy but can lead to energy dips. The GI (Glycaemic Index) diet, which is recommended for diabetics, gives a list of slow energy release foods. Energy is released more slowly and is sustained rather than a quick fix followed by a tired slump.

Caffiene

I know you say you need it for energy, however, be aware that whilst caffeine normally has a "half-life" of approximately 5-7 hours certain medications can extend that half life up to 40 hours or more. There could be a build up causing problems.

There are 82 known drugs that interact with caffeine (392 brand or generic drugs). Only 11 or so are really dangerous, some have moderate effects. It might be worth looking at. Just google it.

Your daily routine

It does seem very out of sync - especially the mornings.

Please, please don't shoot me down in flames because what comes next is purely practical. It comes from experience and a thorough knowledge of all the pitfalls, advantages and disadvantages - from both sides of the fence.

You know what I'm going to say ............but please don't stop reading.:rotfl: In the nicest, kindest possible way - it's time to stop being an ostrich. You need some outside help.

The alarm goes of at 05.15. Is this because your meds are time sensitive and have to be taken then or is it because you are trying to fit everything in before Mr LW goes to work. What do you do at weekends.

It sounds as though by waking yourself up so early you are working against your body's natural biorhythms. The fact that you are exhausted by 07-30 and sleeping the morning away suggests that your body is badly out of sync. You are forcing yourself to wake up far too early and your body is rebelling.

I think you need to rethink your morning routines.

I know you rely heavily on Mr LW. I'm not being heartless because I know how uncomfortable it is having a professional carer in to help you.

I really do know exactly what is involved. I spent three years doing the same as Mr LW (and more). I know how long the morning routine takes and how exhausting it is.

And ................Mr LW then goes and does a full day's work, comes home and starts caring for you all over again..................

I know you say he's happy to do it and I know you are unhappy with the idea of a stranger coming in and attending to your personal needs but ...........and please don't get upset and angry - maybe it's time for a rethink.

A weekday carer would enable Mr LW to bring you a cup of tea before he left for work (and give you your meds) then you could rest and doze until the carer came to help you dress, bathe etc.

The weekends or the days when Mr LW works from home you wouldn't need anyone.

You would get the sleep you clearly need when you need it and Mr LW would also get a probably much needed rest too.

I'm so sorry if I have upset you but I do think it sounds like it's time.

You need sleep, Mr LW could probably do with a bit of a breather - time to grasp that nettle.:(

lessonlearned

Evilsquid - sorry to hear about your long wait from your interview. I agree - very rude.

I know it's common currency for them to wait until they have a firm acceptance from their chosen candidate before letting you know that you've been unsuccessful but if you have take the trouble to contact them for a progress report then a quick email wouldn't kill them.

Good luck for tomorrow.

Sparkles

I'm sorry to hear that you are still feeling so rotten. It's been a long time now. Hope you feel better soon.