Frump to Fab - Summer Solstice Sizzler

lessonlearned

Resourcefulness

My strange, unconventional and some might argue, dysfunctional upbringing, taught me one thing - to be resourceful and to stand on my own two feet.

My Aunty S was a huge inspiration in this. Left a penniless widow she not only survived, she eventually thrived. She taught me not only a wealth of practical skills, but also how we need to draw on our inner strength to get us through the hard times. My father too, for all his faults, had a real "can-do" attitude and would turn his hand to anything to make a bit of money, to repair and reuse old worn out items etc.

We are much luckier than my Aunty S's and my father's generation. We have the Internet - one of the best resources there is. You can learn anything now - just google what you want to know and there you are.

Libraries are still free and another great resource.

Learning to cook, make do and mend, diy, grow your own, make your own beauty products etc - it's all out there to help us survive the lean times.

One of the best resources is your family - no matter how much they might irritate us blood is thicker than water. If you give them the chance they will support and encourage you.

Now I know that some will hold up their hands and say they have no family or they hate their families and want nothing further to do with them - whatever. Fair enough. If you've reached the end of the line - then don't go there.

Remember families don't have to be your natural family members. You can choose another family. Friends can become family. You can use forums like this as a virtual family. You are never as alone as you think you are.

Revenge

Don't go there. You'll get hurt. Forget it - walk away. Simple as. No ifs, no ands, no buts. Embark on the path of revenge and it will destroy you.

"Vengeance is mine sayeth the Lord, I will repay".

Now I'm not religious in any way shape or form, but that simple quote from the bible says it all.

Karma, what goes around, hubris - whatever - they will get their just deserts in the end. There are forces at work.:D

evilsquid1603

not having a fab day, just had to ring natwest over my career development loan, the repayments have started and they want £193 a month off me out of my £217 JSA. its not looking good, girl said they are taking a really hard line with it and taking people to court, got the "well you signed for it!" and everything despite the fact i took it out in 2009 before the recession even hit properly and was being told at the time there were no probs whatsoever with the legal market and there were loads of jobs. at least I'm taking some responsibility for my situation though. just applied to pretty much every legal secretary job i can find advertised in manchester.

adelight wrote: »

evilsquid i thought someone said you played some sport for england, guessing it wasn't running!

oh it was cadets, i went on the international air cadet exchange a few years ago to Sweden, got 2 weeks in sweden with the swedish air force along with some americans, canadians, aussies and dutch air cadets.

lessonlearned

evilsquid1603 wrote: »

not having a fab day, just had to ring natwest over my career development loan, the repayments have started and they want £193 a month off me out of my £217 JSA. its not looking good, girl said they are taking a really hard line with it and taking people to court, got the "well you signed for it!" and everything

That is rough. Is there any way you can pursue this and negotiate something, a time extension or a small token payment. Would a face to face meeting in branch give you a better chance of reaching a compromise. Is there no insurance in place - sometimes there is but they haven't told you.

They are just playing hardball. I think you might have to slug this one out. You really need to speak to a decision maker, someone in a more senior position, and not just a "girl on the end of a phone". She is only really saying what she's been instructed to say, you need someone higher up.

Good luck with the job hunting. I am assuming that JSA is £217 is for 4 weeks. Not much to live on is it. Have you doubled checked that you have claimed for everything else you are entitled to.

Your air cadet stuff sounds like real fun.

maman

Shame you've come back to this hassle evilquid but I'm glad you enjoyed your time in Paris. I suppose the real worry here is that as you are looking to work in the legal profession you daren't let them take you to court? I know you've been looking for relevant jobs to your qualifications but any luck with just any job? I remember you saying that some bar work etc was impossible due to travel times. What is the job situation like in Manchester?

I was interested in your comments on revenge LL. What sprung to mind is that it is 'a dish best served cold'. I have to say I'm normally the sort of person who just smiles sweetly and walks away from perceived slights etc. I enjoy taking the high moral ground and not getting involved in petty squabbles. BUT that doesn't mean that I forget!! It's good to be there when they get their just deserts whether at my hand or someone else's.

Must go, came onto the computer to answer some emails and I seem dangerously close to wasting time!! I have things to do.

Back later.

LameWolf

I've always believed in "friends are the family you choose for yourself". Mine tend to have four feet and waggy tails.;)

Evilsquid I can't offer any advice, but I do wish you all the best with this; I think LL is right, you need someone higher up the food chain than the minion on the end of the phone. Hope you can get something satisfactory sorted out.

lessonlearned

Evilsquid

Just a quickie - got to go in a minute. I've been thinking about your predicament and whilst I don't want to panic you I will give one piece of advice.

Whatever you do - do not let the bank take you to court or even issue you a summons. If you get a CCJ you will not be able to work in the legal profession. No law firm will touch you.

If you wish to tell us a little more about your situation someone might be able to advise better. ie. Age, do you live with your parents, have you ever worked before - this is all relevant to your next move. If you would prefer to PM someone do so.

We want to help you. I'm sure that between us we can come up with a plan.

Sorry I must dash now - will be back later.

dannie

Hello everybody,

I've still been following your posts thanks. Thanks lessonlearned for your encouragement. Sorry about your situation.

"Fabbing" - trying to reduce everyday stress which I think has affected my skin e.g. trying to complete a pile of old magazines given to me; watching interesting TV programmes and gardening. Also, sorting through food ingredients e.g. old herbs and spices to create a bath soak, scalp care, in recipes and added to the laundry.

Had one very bad "frump" day with "unhealthy" eating but your helpful words lessonlearned reminded me of not being "beaten".
Exercise is planned for this afternoon.

[Deleted User]

Hi folks. Back on the fabbing wagon now! Gym session this morning - totally shattered after it. Had a weigh in with on of the instructors and I am now up to 16 stone:eek::eek::eek:.

This has GOT to come off. Going to adopt the FLYlady approach of even a little makes difference each day. I have made some roast pepper and tomato soup for dinner tonight and will have this with a tuna salad (a la Jamie O).
Fabbing so far today:
Gym Session
Shower, hair wash & style, Moisturse face

To Do:
Walk (around the block)
Shave legs and foot file & moisturise

podperson

Hi all,

adelight - so sorry about your nan, hun, am sure uni will understand, hope you managed to get something sorted by now x

Lizzie - sorry the ESA is lower then you were previously on, it does seem like they constantly expect you to survive on lower and lower amounts - while the price of everything goes up! My working tax credits has dropped this week and am pretty sure that when I get the new assessment in it will go down more. I'm going to try and sit down this week and work out if I would actually be better off if I got a part-time job and a bit of self-employed work in terms of benefits (and they why people aren't motivated to work full-time!)

Bratz - hope you're getting on top of the wedding stuff, probably little and often with the wardrobe building. I need some new stuff but am trying to get odd bits from asda/matalan and charity shops when I actually see something I like.

LL - thanks hun, they're just trying me mad at the moment - I know they're quiet and are probably worrying about getting work in etc but there's no need to take it out on the staff really. Am just getting really tired of constantly getting hassle for petty little things. I think I might have a look round at least, am just very aware of how much competition there is for jobs here at the moment - friends of mine have been looking for a while and are constantly being told at interviews that there have been several hundred applications for the job! As I mentioned am possibly going to look at whether I might be able to get something with a few less hours - if I still manage 30 hours including self-employed work then might be able to get a similar income as would get more tax credits. Not sure if that's slightly milking the system but would be a change if it actually benefited me for once instead of the usual hassle! Glad you're still on with the money-making, every little counts

evilsquid - another example of 'rules of procotol' from businesses with not the slightest bit of common sense or empathy Would agree with trying to get someone higher up - or try one of the debt management companies like cccs, they will help you work out a budget and repayment plan and to deal with your creditors. Often you find that banks etc are more likely to come to an agreement with them as well since they deal with them all the time.

Feeling a bit discouraged this week, don't really seem to be getting anywhere and people are so ignorant! How hard it is to reply to an email or acknowledge that you've received something? And, being me, I automatically assume that if people don't come back to me it means that they hate what I've sent them Am traffic surveying on Sat - which is extremely boring work and a 12 hour day, but suppose a bit of extra cash at least. Have been working on the website so isn't looking too bad, need to get a domain name and hosting set up though - if on a free site so is hosted through them at the moment but means I have to use their address.
Really need to get back on track with the fabbing, did do a condition on my hair last night but that was about it. Have been letting the clothes slip as well, struggling to find the energy to put something together when not feeling too great so have just been throwing on layers to keep warm Am going to choir tonight so will try and get changed into something more presentable before I go.
Hope everyone is having a good day x

Bitsy_Beans

Evilsquid have a hug xxx just had a look at the website of the solicitors where I used to work, no job vacancies nor at my H's company (both places have offices in Manchester). Are you signed up to any agencies with a view to being able to do some temping work in the meantime? Could you write off some letters with your CV to some of the large solicitors asking their [STRIKE]Human Remains[/STRIKE] sorry Human Resources can keep your details on file should a secretarial vacancy became available? Xxx