Frump to Fab - Summer Solstice Sizzler

lessonlearned

Thanks for the heads up on caffeine tablets.

Given my low tolerance to drugs I don't think I'll try them. I was just hoping that they might be suitable for pain relief. Having said that - my knees and elbows do seem a little better.

Hopefully my experiment with the new herbal tablets is starting to show some positive results. Still struggling with my back - perhaps because it is such a chronic condition it will take longer to respond. Time will tell. It's only been just over a week since I started taking them so it's early days. Physio tomorrow.

LW

I was interested to hear your views about your counselling and have noted that in the past you have said that you felt that "talking therapies" had, in fact, made matters worse for you.

Oddly enough I have read one or two reports recently that have drawn the same conclusions. New research would seem to suggest that - for some people at least - counselling which involves "reliving" the trauma often delays the healing process and can be counter productive.

I've often wondered how repeated post mortems and endlessly rehashing every little detail can be beneficial, especially when those events have been partially buried and are brought back to the fore through regression therapies.

I know that if I were to dig too deep into my childhood I would be opening a can of worms - so I don't go there. Any half forgotten unhappy memories can stay dead and buried as far as I'm concerned. It would be like poking an open wound with a sharp stick.

I did suffer quite badly from Post Natal Depression with both of my babies. During that time I suffered from flashbacks :eek::eek: Luckily they are all long gone. Call me shallow but as far as I'm concerned I'm happy to let sleeping dogs lie.

Maybe we should forget all those American ideas of "going into therapy". Maybe the old British stiff upper lip isn't such a bad idea after all.

Sparkles

You're a heroine - either that or you are nuts:rotfl::rotfl: Running in this weather?? That is true dedication. You deserve every bit of success that comes your way.:)

WelshWoofer

Morning all!
Well I did it! I went to the first Spice pub meeting last night and actually really enjoyed it:). I was met at the door by a lady who was sort of the "host" and she introduced me to a couple of lovely ladies who "looked after" me all night. I didn't get a word in for the first hour but that was no bad thing - they were so welcoming and interested in me and had funny and interesting things to say and encouraged me to do more things. By the end of it all I felt comfortable and "part of the group" - so a success all round and I will be going back.

I'm actually going to a pub quiz tonight with another group - this one is a local ladies only group. They too have been very welcoming - emailing me to say hello and arranging where to meet etc. So we'll see how that one goes. I won't be out every night when I'm back in work but I'm trying to use the time off to make a start with these groups and "find my feet" a bit.

Talking about sleep - I'm an intermittant sleeper too. Haven't been bad for a while but last night was one of the nights when I just couldn't drop off (probably because of the events of the night and my mind working overtime). Usually though my problem is waking up at 4am and not being able to go back to sleep. As I don't normally have a problem going to sleep (the waking up is the problem) I don't think there's a lot I can do about it. It is miserable at times though and I fully sympathise with anyone else with sleep issues. Everything seems a million times worse in the middle of the night.:(

So today......
I'm just off to take the dog to the park (what a difference a day makes, its glorious sunshine and blue skies today), then make myself do some school work (haven't done very well with this so far) and maybe mow the front lawn. And of course the pub quiz tonight.

Hope everyone has a good day.

Savvy_sewing

The councilling is a strange one. Many years ago, after I had had a bit of a breakdown. I was sent to some councilling. They were trying to dig into my past to see if I had been treated badly by my family etc etc. It was not a successful situation and I was very upset that they were trying to blame my parents for things. Couldnt be further from the truth really.
However at the moment, I started to go to councilling for the "berievement" of loosing the boys and how I was feeling about it.
Anyway, we seem to talk about a lot of things, that are random at times, no re living the past. etc. Its about how I feel, how I perceive things at the time. What I should be doing for ME, and what would happen to the family if I stopped doing for them etc. What my dreams are, and about my relationship with my BF. Sort of all come and go over the various sessions.
I do feel much better. More in control (most of the time), certainly am not beating myself up about things, and spending more time on me is helping me.
Horses for courses I suppose.
I had put make up on yesterday before I went to councilling. I still had it on last evening when BF came up on Skype. He complimented me on looking well. A rarety. So that made my day. A compliment from him is alas very rare these days. One of those men who doenst say much at the best of times. Hence all our ups and downs.
Anyway, I am going through a very bad pain cycle at the moment. So all this typing has taken its toll. Time to stop. Rest as much as I can. Still not even got us dressed and we have been up nearly 3 hours.

Skymist

:wave:Fabbers

Just wanted to post a wee bit about sleep problems.

In my younger days, I could happily sleep for 10, sometimes even 14 hours a night.When I reached menopause, I encountered, along with a heap of other undesirable effects, nocturia, which is one possibility of fractured sleep!

http://www.patient.co.uk/doctor/Nocturia.htm

It doesn't matter how early I stop eating or drinking, I invariably am woken with "pee-need"!! :rotfl:

The other suggestion seems to be just a natural part of what humans do, which has been eroded since night-time lighting entered our lives:-

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Segmented_sleep

and under the "Anthropology of Sleep" section here:-

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sleep

I get so fed up with reading about how broken sleep or not reaching the exact amount of hours ie 7-8 per night, makes you fat/shortens your life/causes diabetes etc. etc.

I believe that we sleep the amount that is necessary for repair and growth etc. even if it doesn't fit the current medical perscription, and that worrying about it's lack causes MORE problems than just letting your body be!! Catch up with catnaps if you need them, and as LL has said, if you can't sleep at night, don't just lie there worrying....get up and do something... after all it does appear to be quite natural/normal to not sleep continually for 7-whatever unbroken hours per night. Daytime catchup counts too.

For all those with sleep problems...I hope you have a good nights sleep soon....and STOP worrying!!

S

maman

Thanks skymist. I looked at some of the links and loved this on segmented sleep:

According to Ekirch's argument, typically individuals slept in two distinct phases, bridged by an intervening period of wakefulness of up to an hour or more. Peasant couples, who were often too tired after field labor to do much more than eat and go to sleep, awakened later to have sex.[5] People also used this time to pray and reflect,[6] and to interpret dreams, which were more vivid at that hour than upon waking in the morning. This was also a favorite time for scholars and poets to write uninterrupted, whereas still others visited neighbors, or engaged in petty crime.[7]

I'll have to discuss this further with my DH, but when I wake at night, instead of listening to the radio, I could try prayer and reflection or write some poetry or have sex!!!:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

I tried the hot chocolate last night (I think it may be tryptophan that's in milk which affects serotonin levels) but it didn't help me have uninterrupted sleep. I did feel calmer though. I don't worry about it normally but Monday I felt really tired and a friend commented on it so it bothered me. I love the idea of a nap but it doesn't really fit in with my days. What generally happens is that I nod off watching TV, as the programmes are that good.;)

Well done on going to your new group ww. I think like pod said, it's a good idea to try lots of things then stick with those you really enjoy. Especially as you have the time now to get out and about.

I've never had counselling bu I can imagine that it would help in certain situations. I've always been one for keeping things to myself but I can see that 'bottling things up' may not be the best way. I suppose it's like advice, you can be offered it but you don't have to take it or you can just choose the bits that suit. I think the sort of counselling that's like 'thinking aloud' is good because you're really working out your own solution.

Anyone got plans for Easter? I'm driving down to Torquay tomorrow and sort of hoping that miserable weather will mean roads aren't clogged up.

LameWolf

Hello all.

Funnily enough, there was an article on segmented sleep in Mr LW's online computing magazine last week.:o I've been having a cup of hot chocolate last thing for a few weeks. Doesn't make an iota of difference to the sleep, but it tastes nice!:D I've got Mr LW having that, too; he was having a glass of sherry before bed, but his snoring is markedly worse if he's had alcohol, so getting him to switch to hot chocolate makes for a quieter night.;)

I reckon I'm naturally nocturnal - I even have very good night vision, which always amazes Mr LW; I can see a dark-coloured dog in the unlit hallway at 02:00 if I get up for the loo.:D

Counselling - I'm with Mooloo - it's horses for courses; it's beneficial for some people, but not others. Thinking about it, I suppose it'd help if I trusted the counsellors;:D I know for a fact I have trust issues. :cool:

LL not sure if I've mentioned it before; but as you're clearly keen to find decent pain relief (and who can blame you - pain is debilitating imho) I'm afraid I should tell you my pain relief is morphine - on prescription, naturally; paracetomol and codeine had stopped working, I can't take Tramadol because it doesn't mix with my anti-d's, and can't have ibuprofen because it wrecks my tum; so when I finally got to visit the pain specialist, I got the morphine offered, and grabbed it with both hands.:o I have 30mg sustained release tablets twice daily (07:30 and 19:30) and I have Oramorph liquid to take at need for "breakthrough pain" as they called it.

Jasper's here - my new guest. He's lovely, a real softy, and his tail is +4 for damage to legs!:rotfl: Luckily it's not a long tail!:D I thought he was going to wag it right off when he arrived!:rotfl:

Anyways, I'm going to finish my bit of lunch, then introduce Jasper to the mobility buggy for walkies.;)

podperson

Hi all,

Mooloo - sounds like progress with the fabbing and if your OH is noticing must be making a difference (am assuming he's like mine and if I come in dolled up with full hair and make-up done he'll look at me slightly bemused and go, 'is something different?' :rotfl:)

Maman - I did go to college for the photography years ago but that was more about the technical side rather then the composition so I don't know really. I did study art for a while, which I think helps, but is more really about looking for the lines and angles and deciding what looks good. The portraits were interesting as I've done landscape for a long time so don't really think about that so much now, it just comes naturally, but for the portraits was having to think a lot more and try new things/positions/angles etc to see what looked best. Hope SW goes ok

Sparkles - you're braver then me going out running in the horrid weather yesterday - am entrigued about your enquiry, hope it works out.

WW - so glad the group went well hope tonight is just as good, you're going to be a busy bee!

Interesting that so many of us have problems sleeping. I know I've always struggled to get to sleep, once I'm off I'm usually not too bad for waking up. I do think it's got worse in the last 6-12 months though, to the stage where I usually end up dozing off to the tv now. I find if I'm lying there in the quiet I end up with things just constantly running through my mind and can't switch off, if I have the tv on it kind of gives me something to slightly distract my mind with. Of course it can't be too good tv or I stay awake watching it - OH will be laughing at me as I flick through the channels looking for something that's watchable but not too exciting :rotfl:
Am feeling really tired this week, not sure if it's not sleeping well or just having a lot on. Can't really have an early night tonight either as taking photos at a gig and the band don't even go on until 9.30pm. My superstar friend (who I think is getting rather sick of me now :rotfl:) is letting me keep his camera until Monday so am all set for the hotel piccies on Sunday. Really need to buy my own and seen the one I want at quite a good price but not got the money spare until OH's next student loan comes at the end of the month Ah well, shall muddle through until then!

lessonlearned

Good Morning Everyone

Hi Skymist. Lovely to hear from you. Hope you are well.

Thanks for the sleep info - very helpful and interesting. It's interesting about the impact of electric lighting. When you think about it, it really has changed our lives dramatically over the last hundred years or so. Not always for the better perhaps.

Even worse I think is that we seem to be on an irrevocable course for a 24 hour society. No wonder we worry about lack of sleep.

I think the trick is to try and relax and allow your own natural body rhythms to set your sleep patterns for you.

If you don't sleep well at night, have a couple of naps during the day. Apparently many of the "Historical Greats" did this - Wellington, Churchill, Thatcher. Difficult if you are at work perhaps.:o - although I have been known to nod off at my desk - much to everyones' amusement.

I really love my afternoon/early evening naps. They set me up so that I can stay up later. I'm a bit of a night owl and always feel at my best around the witching hour.

My Belgian grandparents were market gardeners, rose and worked early and slept through the heat of the afternoon - just as they still do in much of Spain. They would sit up late at night, drinking wine, chatting with friends and neighbours.

I find if I lie awake worrying about not sleeping I just get more and more exhausted. If I get up and potter, I may be still a bit tired but at least I don't get totally stressed out.

Has anyone been taking part in "Earth Hour" - where you switch stuff off. If I lived alone I would probably do this on a fairly regular basis.

I would have a wood burner, candles and listen to a wind up radio, sit reading. Bliss. Unfortunately I don't think I could sell this idea to DS2 - he would miss all his gizmos too much.

I practise a version of this in the summer on warm evenings. I sit out in the garden with the garden lights and a glass of wine and a good book or a piece of hand sewing.

Later when I know it's safe and I won't upset any neighbours, I light the chimenea and just sit and watch the flames. Oddly enough one set of neighbours does exactly the same, at least that way we know we are not smoking each other out.

Have been to physic, had a good pummelling, time for lunch and then visit OH.

Have a good day.

Anyone doing anything exciting for Easter.

Rosetta92

Skymist I read about segmented sleep a while ago too. Knowing it was natural helped a lot, especially as I usually sleep like a log. Hopefully as I recover from my op I'll go back to that - at the moment I seem to turn onto the site of the surgery and wake myself up OUCH:eek:

Mooloo I'm glad you're feeling better, and well done on the fabbing. I hope you get the pain under control - push your doc for more help if needed. Its their job to help us manage our pain - says she who had to be told to take paracetamol for a sore throat - didn't occur to me there was no need to feel the pain:o

LameWolf wrote: »

Jasper's here - my new guest. He's lovely, a real softy, and his tail is +4 for damage to legs!:rotfl: Luckily it's not a long tail!:D I thought he was going to wag it right off when he arrived!:rotfl:

Sounds an ideal house guest. Will we get to see a picture?

Have to confess my fabbing has slipped a bit. Planning to get back in gear in the run up to the Easter weekend as I'm hoping to be well enough to be taken to visit family then. Sooo - today's plan is to sort hands, do nails, and plan some fab outfits for the weekend.

LL Not sure what your diagnosis is - I think I've missed some posts while in early stages of recovery. I find a daily cod liver oil capsule helps reduce my joint pain, and there is scientific research that it gives protection/ slows down further joint damage. I've also had some success with magnetic and copper bangles. Sounds like you'll need some heavy duty pain meds but adding these ideas too might contribute to feeling a bit easier.

When one of my elbows was really painful I also went to the chiropractor. It was much better within two sessions of treatment. He explained that I'd originally put something out of alignment in my back, my body then kept trying to compensate until eventually the pain ended up in my elbow. Could you have done something similar when you've been helping your OH?

Hope this helps a wee bit - you're posts are helping me a lot in getting through my recovery. :T:A

R

fedupandskint

Well I've done the weigh-in and have STS - phew after a lot of treaty eating recently!

I'm not mad - running yesterday in the cold wind only. All the snow and slush had disappeared by the time I got back from work. Glad I went though as its time to get back on the training plan ready for 6 weeks time and the next run is the long run on Friday if the weather is ok.

Also looking for a new bike on Sat after mine was pinched last year. Thought it was about time I got this sorted out so I can start a different kind of exercise once this half marathon is done and hoping at some stage I get fit enough to cycle to work and back (40miles round trip). I might never get around to that one though!

Opportunity - my enquiry was about a marathon next year - got some more info about what to do next. No idea if I'll get a place but I'll give it a go all the same