Frump to Fab - Summer Solstice Sizzler

findingmyway_2

Hi everyone!

I have been quiet over the past week or so, but hopefully this week I can get back on track. I went out with some friends over the weekend, and made a real effort. Even had a few men flirt with me. :j:j It ended with disappointment though, when the last guy I was talking to asked if I fancied going back to his place. When I politely declined and said that its just not my thing, to go home with strangers he called me a prude and a string of other nasty things. :eek::eek: I left feeling rather deflated at the thought of finding someone who may be willing to wait until we have actually been dating for a while before jumping into bed with them.

Apart from that, I have been trying to sort my nails out, but they just keep chipping. I plan to get my hair cut this week and have been moisturing everyday. Although my skin still feels dry.

Welcome to the newbies.

Lovely to see you posting again LessonLearned. Please take the doctors advice and look after yourself.

Willow can you try and encourage your fiance to get out and do some exercise with you. Tell him that you need his support and would appreciate him going for a walk with you in the evening maybe?

Fedupandskint, its sounds like you are fabulously organised for the week ahead.

Maman, I actually think Helen Mirren is incredibly fabulous and I love her hair. I hope I look as good as she does when i'm her age. She just looks so naturally beautiful and far better than some people half her age.

Happy Monday everyone!

evilsquid1603

Willow92 wrote: »

Success for me right now will be losing weight and keeping it off! I just need the support in real life, I know I've always got you lot online but it's a bit different here. You know what it's like with my fiance etc.

its like that here too, my DH wants to get fit and has all these plans but when it come to doing them just cba. he hasn't been back to the gym in weeks. his fave excuse atm is "oh but when we move ill be right next door and have no excuse!". if it doesn't involve the sofa, takeaway and this stupid star trek game he's downloaded he just doesn't want to know.

lessonlearned

findingmyway wrote: »

Hi everyone!

It ended with disappointment though, when the last guy I was talking to asked if I fancied going back to his place. When I politely declined and said that its just not my thing, to go home with strangers he called me a prude and a string of other nasty things. :eek::eek: I left feeling rather deflated at the thought of finding someone who may be willing to wait until we have actually been dating for a while before jumping into bed with them.

Sorry to hear that - yes I think there can be enormous pressure sometimes for women "in the dating arena". Actually arena probably is a very good word for it - sometimes it does sound rather gladiatorial.

Anyway well done for sticking to your principles - you should always do what feels right in those situations.

Will come back later for a catch up. Need to get cracking now - off to try and have a "face to face" meeting with the bods at the Council Office re my council tax. It's all gone pear shaped and a phone call won't suffice to put this one right.

Back later X

maman

findingmyway wrote: »

It ended with disappointment though, when the last guy I was talking to asked if I fancied going back to his place. When I politely declined and said that its just not my thing, to go home with strangers he called me a prude and a string of other nasty things. :eek::eek: I left feeling rather deflated at the thought of finding someone who may be willing to wait until we have actually been dating for a while before jumping into bed with them.

I can understand it was disappointing but I'd say you did really well. I think I'd rather be called a prude than a t*rt (or worse). I'm sure the sort of man you'd really like to meet wouldn't behave like that. I'd just enjoy the socialising and the compliments for the time being.

willow, I think losing weight is a great target for the next part of your plan. Ideally you'd have your fiance on board but more importantly your mum as I assume, as you live there, you have most of your meals at home. All the slimming clubs (in my case Slimming World) work on the principle of having RL buddies to help you along both in the other members and the consultants who lead the group. SW is about £10 to join and then £5 a week which you could probably afford now you're a working girl! Joining a club would give you structure and support which is a lot easier than going it alone. Tell your mum how miserable it's making you feel being overweight, surely she'd be willing to help all she can?

lizzie157

Originally Posted by Willow92
Sometimes I feel like the failure of my family... I have some really talented relatives and I look at my self and think "What have I ever done?"

Nothing.

Though I suppose getting a job is my biggest achievement.

Hope you're feeling more positive Willow, you've acheived loads. Try not to pay attention to thoughtless people - hard I know- finding yourself a job in this present climate is a major acheivement and I'm sure your family are so proud of you. I know I'm proud of my older kids because like you when they,ve found themselves out of work they've picked themselves up and kept going until they've found something else. As for the losing weight -sorry not managed to crack that one myself yet

Maman- I'm another one who thinks Helen Mirren looks great.

LL- My advice Lizzie is just concentrate on the good true friends,

Unfortunately I don't have any , I think that's why I find it so difficult sometimes cos I've really got no one who I feel is really there for me.

I was reading about Esther Rantzen feeling lonely a few weeks ago and I identify with that alot and I'm a fair bit younger than her.:( Obviously she has family the same as me but they have their own lives. I don't know how to explain the feeling really, its just there and when you're not busy it surfaces and you realize that apart from perhaps the bloke in the shop you,ve spoken to no-one outside your home environment for days or even weeks.

Good luck LL with the council - I'm afraid they're another lot I find exasperating to deal with!!

Am not feeling the best again - I'm hoping its only the stress but I'm having digestion/bloating, aches and pains. I can also feel my mood dropping down again -I was feeling much more positive before all DWP problems occurred but I finished the counselling just as all this blew up and although I'm trying to keep myself positive, I'm finding it harder the longer it all goes on.

Am going to try and have a think about the best way forward from here. Not sure whether to go forward with the VW like I was going to or go for it and start applying for jobs. I have been looking for a while but don't know if I'm up to it yet. Don't want to finish up back at square 1.

Did manage to do a french manicure on my nails yesterday. Well time for a cuppa then off out for a walk in the sun perhps that'll perk me up

LameWolf

lizzie157 wrote: »

LL- My advice Lizzie is just concentrate on the good true friends,

Unfortunately I don't have any , I think that's why I find it so difficult sometimes cos I've really got no one who I feel is really there for me.

I was reading about Esther Rantzen feeling lonely a few weeks ago and I identify with that alot and I'm a fair bit younger than her.:( Obviously she has family the same as me but they have their own lives. I don't know how to explain the feeling really, its just there and when you're not busy it surfaces and you realize that apart from perhaps the bloke in the shop you,ve spoken to no-one outside your home environment for days or even weeks.

Lizzie I for one understand totally; I have no family or RL friends, and once Mr LW has left for work in the morning, I don't see or speak to a living soul until he comes home, unless I happen to have a canine guest staying that I can talk to! We don't have any local shops, (the only one on the estate closed before I moved here, Mr LW tells me) so I can't even get on the mobility scooter and go there for a change of scene.:cool: I don't have an answer, but just wanted to let you know someone identifies with what you're saying.:o

lessonlearned

lizzie157 wrote: »

Good luck LL with the council - I'm afraid they're another lot I find exasperating to deal with!!

/QUOTE]

:mad::mad::mad::mad:

Just wasted two hours. Got absolutely nowhere - stuck in a queue - couldn't wait any longer, partly because I was desperate for the loo and of course - no lavatories. Benefit claimants are obviously sub-human and have no need of calls of nature.

Maybe I should have just relieved myself in the middle of their "office" - at least it might have grabbed their attention.:rotfl:

I've serioulsy had enough - does nothing in this country work any more. To make matters worse - do they have to be so damned rude. Do they have to make us feel like we are something you might have bought in on your shoe.

When my grandfather died, my grandmother entered a convent. Many of my Great Aunts were nuns.

I can sometimes see the attraction of a simple monastic life - cut off from the trials and tribulations of the outside world. A life of quiet contemplation is very tempting right now - unfortunately I'm an atheist, so no chance of a "calling". :rotfl: No escape for me.

Anyway just had a cup of coffee and some Ranatadine to try and calm down the bl**dy chest pains so that I can now try and telephone them.

Lizzie - I'm sorry to hear that things are still not improving for you. Not much help I know but I do understand how all this stress affects you (and me) so badly - all the aches and pains, stomach problems etc. DWP and the like have an awful lot to answer for.

Just keep plugging away and try and look after your health.

Just a quick edit

Tried to ring Council - no computers till tomorrow - kid you not. Also postman just delivered a letter re my carer's allowance, apparently that should have been stopped 30/12/11. Rang them - no sense out of them either, just repeating parrot fashion what was in the letter. I explained that I've now been told (by them) that CA stops immediately, after 4 weeks, after 8 weeks, after 12 weeks. So .......Take your pick as to which is the true version.

Multiply this with the SS, Council Tax, ESA, Income Support people and you start to get a picture of what we're up against with the red tape and endless bureaucracy. It's like finding your way through a labyrinth, without Ariadnes thread.

I'm lost, deflated, exhausted and utterly p****d off. This has been going on since 3rd January. I knew it would be complicated and difficult but not like this.
Thank goodness I have a small savings account to see me through the worst.
I call it my "F**k You" fund - rude I know, but I think you can see where I'm coming from. Roll on November when my pension kicks in and I will be shot of this.

The moral of the story. Don't get sick, don't get poor. You're on your own pal. Big Society, my a**e.

Sorry ladies for the winge - you must be bored stupid.

I'll get me coat.

podperson

Hi all,

Haven't been on over the weekend so lots to catch up on!

EH - glad you're feeling a bit better hun, never fun when everything just builds up on you - hope you manage to find another job soon if that's going to help the stress levels.

LL - glad you had a nice time for Mr LL's birthday and yay on having a proper bedroom again :j but sorry you're still getting the runaround from benefits people, it's disgusting how they make you wait so long - I think I had to wait about 2 hours for the council when we applied but that was only because it was the first application so they wouldn't let us make an appointment :mad:

Lizzie - I wouldn't push it too much until your arm is a bit better, I know it must be frustrating but don't want to put things back Am sorry you're having so much trouble with DWP - they really do seem to love making things difficult for us.

Bitsy - hope you're ok hun x

Willow - it's always tempting to compare yourself to other people, but everyone is different. I remember chatting to a girl I knew years ago and I was a little jealous that she had a good 'career' type job, a very nice wage and a big house. Then she turned round and said how lucky I was to have my OH, to get on well with my family and to be able to do more creative things - things that I haven't really considered as pluses as I kind of took them for granted. I'm sure you have things that make you unique and a success and if there are things you want to change then you are young and at the best time to do them x

Welcome to ALJA and Jo, everyone here is really helpful and supportive so am sure you will be fab in no time Jo, on the nail biting, I used to do when I was younger and found that if they were painted I didn't do it as much. If they look a raggedy from biting then a paler colour won't show it up as much.

Maman - nice compliment from DH sorry am no use on the hair, but have you tried volumising sprays or anything like that? yay on the holiday being booked - something to look forward to

Findingmyway - you had some guys flirting with you, which means you looked fab - don't let one guy being a complete jerk bring you down. Let's face it, if that's his attitude then he's not someone you really would have wanted to be with, is he? Lots of guys are willing to wait a bit - and imo that's a decent way of sorting out the guys who actually want something a bit meaningful from those who just want to jump into bed with anyone.

Am too behind to mention everyone but sending you positive fabbing vibes

Anyway, am feeling a little urghy today, think I am coming down with something but am overdoing on juice and vitamins and hoping it will go away Wearing a dress I bought about 2 months ago and haven't been brave enough to wear yet - so has like a peacock feather pattern on it with green and purple so wearing over a purple turtleneck, since it's quite thin, and with purple tights and boots. New woman starting in the office today so didn't want to look a scruff :rotfl:Hopefully she should make things a bit easier as I won't have to run round like a headless chicken doing 3 people's jobs. Have been messing around with the photo website this weekend, getting there slowly - need to edit all the photos and then upload so taking me a while. Am hoping when I get it up and running then can try and get a few jobs with it, but we'll have to see.
Hope everyone's having a good day x

evilsquid1603

maman wrote: »

willow, I think losing weight is a great target for the next part of your plan. Ideally you'd have your fiance on board but more importantly your mum as I assume, as you live there, you have most of your meals at home. All the slimming clubs (in my case Slimming World) work on the principle of having RL buddies to help you along both in the other members and the consultants who lead the group. SW is about £10 to join and then £5 a week which you could probably afford now you're a working girl! Joining a club would give you structure and support which is a lot easier than going it alone. Tell your mum how miserable it's making you feel being overweight, surely she'd be willing to help all she can?

like Maman, i can also vouch for slimming world. it is brilliant. rather then do what weight watchers do and tell you everything you cant eat and deprive you, SW gives you a massive list of everything you can eat in unlimited quantities so long as you are satisfying your hunger and measured "Healthy Extras" like bread, cereal, dairy and cheese.

you don't have to join weekly if you don't want to either, you get everything on your first night to get you going so it will only be £10 for the books.

if you don't want to fork out without knowing what you are getting into, join us here: https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/3436791

the first post has the diet plan set out and everyone is lovely! people post their food diaries so you can see what sorts of things we do eat and there is a recipe thread too. have a look at the slimming world magazine too, its usually in supermarkets/newsagents somewhere.

Skymist

lizzie157 wrote: »

I was reading about Esther Rantzen feeling lonely a few weeks ago and I identify with that alot and I'm a fair bit younger than her.:( Obviously she has family the same as me but they have their own lives. I don't know how to explain the feeling really, its just there and when you're not busy it surfaces and you realize that apart from perhaps the bloke in the shop you,ve spoken to no-one outside your home environment for days or even weeks.

I read that article too, and also feel the same way, so I know exactly where you're coming from. I don't even have any family around to provide any interactive chatting at home either, and generally rabbit on to the captive audience at bus-stops or in shops!!!! :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: But, I decided that as I'm not the clubby/pubby/group-oriented sort, I could either spend my days feeling down in the dumps, lonely and miserable, or I could change my viewpoint and accept the situation, learn to enjoy my own company....which was hard as I'm a natural extrovert!.... and enjoy that of others when the situation arises, ie. in shops, at bus-stops etc. no mattter how limited those connections are....and for me it has worked 'cos the options are so limited, and at least I'm still alive and kicking and in good health, with all my marbles...at the moment...in tact. :rotfl:

Each to their own, but at least I am now for the most part, content with my life, even if I'm not deleriously happy 24/7...and things could be so much worse, so I count how lucky and grateful I am with what I have.

S