Frump to Fab - Summer Solstice Sizzler

lessonlearned

Feelings, Fear and Friendship

They all came together for me over the weekend.

But first - two warnings.

1. This will be rather a long post - I've got a lot to say.

2. I have no wish to upset anyone.

What I'm going to talk about is not meant to be a jibe or a dig at anyone so PLEASE none of you take offence.

Some time ago Sophistica posted on this thread and, through what i perceive as a few crossed wires and a breakdown in communication, inadvertently upset one or two of you.

Sophistica expressed the opinion that sometimes it is necessary to take "Massive Action" to get results, that "Baby Steps" weren't always enough. My take on this was that Sophistica never intended her comments as a criticism, it was just an observation on what had worked for her.

Anyway - as you all know - Sophistica ceased to post on this thread.

What you may not know is that she pm'd me and we stayed in touch, exchanging emails and phone calls.

A couple of weeks ago Sophistica invited me to London to attend a seminar with her. She knew that I need to rebuild my finances and thought I might find it helpful.

Now Sophistica may appear to some to be reckless but trust me she is not nearly as rash as I am. Before inviting me into her life she had taken every precaution to perform "due diligence", checking me out, checking my credentials and that I was who and what I said I was.

Me?? No don't be daft - I don't work that why. I'm a "gut reaction" kind of girl. I just spoke to her on the phone, (made sure she wasn't a bloke in drag:rotfl:) and trusted my feelings and instincts.

I fully intended to book myself into a hotel so as not to impose on her but Sophistca simply wouldn't hear of it. She insisted I save my money and stay with her.

She took me, a complete stranger, and welcomed me into her beautiful home, fed me, looked after me and cosseted me.

You may be wondering if I wasn't frightened at all by the prospect of staying with a complete stranger - no not a bit of it. I had complete faith and trust in Sophistica. My real fear was that, because I was feeling so ill, I would be a lousy house guest and a real burden to her.

Sad to say, my fears on that score were only too well founded. When I arrived at her house I was virtually catatonic with exhaustion and I continued to suffer with chest pains, and stomach problems for most of the weekend. Not much of a house guest:o.

Sophistica wasn't even remotely put out, she looked after me, encouraged me to eat a little now and then and to rest as much as I needed. If I was a burden to her then it was one she was more than happy to carry.

We duly attended the seminar on both the Saturday and the Sunday. It was fantastic - I thoroughly enjoyed it. It was great to use my brain for something other than solving problems and dealing with the rubbish I've had to cope with for the past 6 years. I loved the stimulating atmosphere, the adrenaline rush and the fact that at last I was doing something positive about my future.

BTW - Sophistica and I were very circumspect, we kept our credit cards firmly in our bags and did not sign up for the whole course. We just took full advantage of the free business advice and expertise and then went our merry way.

The Saturday session finished late so we just grabbed a bite to eat at Nando's. Although the Sunday session ended early and we wandered along to Covent Garden with the intention of a mooch round the shops and then me buying Sophistica a nice dinner to say thank you for being such a lovely generous host, I was just so tired and ill I had to give in and call it a day.

We went back to Sophistica's house where we ended up having a sausage sandwich and a couple of glasses of vino - just to revive my flagging spirits you understand.

I had a wonderful weekend and although I am still physically very tired, mentally I feel revitalised and re-energised. The fog on my brain has lifted and I feel reborn.

For me - that trip to London on my own, after 29 years of marriage, never going away without my beloved OH, staying with a complete stranger who I met through an internet forum was indeed "Massive Action". Indeed I don't think I can imagine anything more massive than that.

And yet, Sophistica was exactly spot on, it was exactly what I needed to do. For me it has been a tipping point, the start of that new beginning I was looking for.

It took me every ounce of my courage and willpower to attempt it. I did it. :rotfl: And .....I'm proud of myself.;)

I grasped the hand of friendship that Sophistica extended to me, I listened to my inner voice telling me it would be fine, I made a judgement based on feelings rather than intellect and I overcame my fear of my being ill and spoiling everything.

You know my views of fake friends who let you down and dissert you just when you need them most.

My view is Ditch 'Em. Find yourself some nice new friends - just like my wonderful new friend - the lovely, kind, generous Fab Fab Fab Sophistica.

Sophistica - You Rock!!!.

From the bottom of my heart - Thank You.

prepareathome

LL that is fantastic, am so glad you had such a great time and your instincts were spot on, you rest and get well now, healing thoughts and love being sent, hugs

findingmyway_2

Hi everyone.

Well I am back after 2 weeks away in Japan. Staying in hostels, and moving around every 2 or 3 days doesnt allow for much fabbing. As I am an extremely shy person, and will not be walking around in my underwear in front of strangers, even moisturing rarely happened. I did however put perfume on every day.

I traveled by myself, and feel such a sense of accomplishment navigating subway systems, asking for helping, lugging bags around, and even talking to new people, so I suppose that can all count as fabbing.

Sorry I haven't caught up with the thread yet, but I did just read your post Lesson Learned. What an inspiration! Congratulations on taking that big step which i'm sure was nerve wracking, and finding such a great friend.

Have a great day everyone.

adelight

findingmyway that sounds brilliant, tell us some stories of your travels
LL that's inspiring and uplifting and i'm glad you enjoyed it, sophistica sounds like a lovely person to have in your life.

I'm just popping on before I go to uni. I'm in 9-6 today and dreading it! My brain switches off after half an hour in a lecture. I'm feeling quite frumpy so have popped a nail varnish in my bag and will paint them on one of my breaks

podperson

Morning all,

evilsquid - think we definately need cute hammy photos

adelight - ooh, I love ANTM as well, one of my guilty pleasures, and you've just reminded me I have the last 2 or 3 episodes still to watch on that series

WW - hope you're feeling a bit better hun, try not to overdo it at work - at least the eating seems to be going well. Had to laugh at the bank trying to lend you money - they are always the same I find, when you're struggling and desparate for a bit of help they don't want to know, but when you get sorted out (all your own!) they start trying to throw money at you! :mad:

PAH - your outfit sounds lovely and hopefully you got a boost from all those compliments Hope you also saw that 'you know best' and people who say things like 'oh you shouldn't do this or wear your hair that that' are either just jealous or have no sense of style :rotfl:

Sezza - sounds like a fun weekend, must admit have never been to 'the dogs' - and some fab 'e's to finish off the week for us

Sparkles - well done on the getting the assignment in :j

Callisto - sorry you're feeling down hun, please don't get stuck on the 'others have it worse' thing, yes some people always will but that doesn't mean that your problems aren't important. If you're feeling a bit stuck in a rut could you pick a goal to work towards so you feel you're moving forward a bit with something - how's your Day Zero coming along? Hope your counsellor manages to help a little x

Bratz - glad you got the dress fixed and yay on getting the wedding invites sorted and posted - no backing out now :rotfl:Enjoy your pampering x

LL - we did indeed miss you So glad you had a good time (shame you didn't feel so great but at least you didn't let it stop you!) and how lovely of Sophistica to look after you so well Nice you stayed in touch, I think that, while forums can be wonderful, that seeing things written down, without the kind of subtleties you get from face to face conservation, they can come across as very black and white and therefore it can be easier to take things the wrong way. Anyway, well done on your 'Massive Action' sounds like it's working out great for you :T

Findingmyway - your trip sounds fab, agree we need some stories

Anyways, have been a little awol for the weekend. Been very busy but don't seem to have got a great deal done, which is a little annoying. Went with OH last night to watch our '2nd choir' rehearse - they have a concert in just under 2 weeks that OH is going to be filming. They were really good but had to go straight from work and didn't get home until lateish so a little knackered today and have to go to my own choir tonight, which is a late rehearsal and won't finish until 10pm.
Finally got my reselling stuff for ebay, won't bore you with details but had got some seconds and was hoping they would look ok - when they came they had bright blue pen lines on them, I thought that was the problem and they looked awful, was annoyed and is a no-return policy on them. Anyway, luckily I looked on another forum and saw that they put pen marks on to show where the 'imperfection' is and cause the surface is shiny they wipe off easily God, I'm dippy sometimes! Now they look perfect, can't see the supposed faults at all so am happy now (and rather glad I didn't ring up to complain :rotfl:)
Haven't done any bets for a few days as my bet matched site has been down and have been rather lazy and not wanted to go through them all myself. Must do it today though if it's not back up.
Done very little fabbing - but have been wearing my new purple jersey dress the last two days. Is above the knee so probably the shortest I've worn in about ten years :eek: No one has pointed and laughed yet though Did manage to snag my tights yesterday though - I am hopeless with them! Does anyone know where you can get cheap, thick tights, preferably in colours? I usually go to asda or matalan but still coming up at 3-4 quid and if they're only going to last me 1-2 days each that's getting a bit expensive

verynewmoneysaver

WelshWoofer wrote: »

Evening all - welcome back LL - glad you had a brilliant time!
Hope you feel a bit more positive soon Callisto - its awful feeling down with nothing to look forward to. Molly is right though - things are slowly changing, it was almost light when I went to work this morning:T
Yeah for finishing the assignment Fedup :j- bet its a weight off your mind!


Back to work today - felt a bit queasy but managed to last the day. Still not got much of an appetite - not such a bad thing as I can eat my own body weight when the fancy takes me!
Had a meat free kiev thing and nice fresh runner beans for tea - thought it was better to have a small meal and have something else if I fancied it rather than waste a big dinner. Have since scoffed some strawberries so must be on the mend. Still I suppose it was all good for you food - lots of vitamins. Talking about vitamins, I'm managing to take a multivit and a Vit B complex everyday to speed along my hair.

If I can get my sleep pattern back to normal I'll be fitting fit - I have phases of insomnia and now appears to be one of them. I go to sleep easily and then wake up after about 2 hours and just can't get back to sleep, its really irritating and the night seems a very long time sometimes...... Any tips or advice would be appreciated.

Have you tried the book and CD by Paul McKenna "I can make you sleep" I find it very good as I work shifts which mess up my sleep pattern. Glad you had a great weekend LL. I made friends with someone I met through this site once but unfortunately she dropped our friendship after a bit which was a bit upsetting as I liked her very much. Had a pedicure and back massage the other day. Not very MSE but I had a lot of discomfort in my shoulders due to continuing stress with my parents, and I'm really pleased wih my bright painted toenails.

LameWolf

LL well done you on taking the Massive Action, and I'm so pleased that you had a good weekend, despite not feeling totally up to scratch.

I have to admit Fear is my bugbear; specifically, fear of people.:eek::eek::eek: I simply cannot deal with them; I find it impossible to read peoples' faces the way some manage to do, and am constantly second-guessing myself that I'm saying the "right" thing.:eek:

So it was with great trepidation that I attended the CAMRA AGM last night; particularly as I had to tell them that due to my latest (and nastiest) lupus flare, I don't feel able to continue with the work I've done for them for the last 6 years, viz: a weekly check of local planning applications to see if any involve pubs, and maintaining the National Beer Scoring Scheme database for our patch.

But of course the stalwart Mr LW was with me; he didn't leave me on my own at all (I can't cope with that); and he was happy to escape as soon as the official business was done and people were just doing chit-chat (I don't do small-talk; don't have the talent for it).

I was wearing a black velvet top and skirt, with a grey decorative neck scarf, and a black scarf with white pentacles on my hair, tied at the back, to hide the thinness of my hair (and the silver line down the middle):whistle: my black "Granny Weatherwax" boots despite using the wheelchair, and I'd put on purple eyeshadow, eyeliner and lipstick and my favourite pentagram necklace. I had to wear my neoprene gloves as my hands were playing up, but I don't think they looked 'orribly out of place.:o

Anyways, I am now rid of a voluntary job that it's high time someone else did, that was becoming a real millstone round my neck.:T So I can give more attention to the other organisation I do paperwork for, and my dogsitting - I have three bookings for later in the year, one in Feb, one in March, (both of these for a greyhound/lurcher I've not met before), and my old mate Sidny wants to come and stay in June.:D

Rosetta92

Lamewolf - just popping out of lurkdom to say well done on getting rid of the CAMRA duties :j:j:beer:

Been very inspired with all the posts on here. So far I've painted my nails (twice) for the first time in ages, and started tackling my feet so they'll be fit to be seen in sandals. Am promising myself a lovely new pair (sandals not feet!) for the Solstice celebrations if I can keep up the new routine.

Rosetta

Bitsy_Beans

LW have you ever been diagnosed with being on the autistic spectrum? Your struggle to read faces struck a chord as it's these subtle nuances and non verbal communication where my DS who has ASD struggles. Not that a diagnosis would change anything but if your the sort of person who would like to know it might be worth reading a bit more about it. I apologise if this is stepping on your toes or unwelcome to you


Not been posting much. Don't feel that fab, feel my eating is out of control at the moment, its like my head is rebelling against everything. Feel like a big fat failure to be honest I am doing the basic fab things like perfume, taking better care of my skin when I remember, getting more interested about make up etc but feel the one area that consistently let's me down is weight and eating. Am tired quite frankly of keep getting to this point and not sure how to change things.

Anyway sorry for the ramble, not posting for sympathy but had this rattling round my head for a week now and just needed to write it down.

LL glad you had such a good time, well done

[Deleted User]

Hi folks. Sorry I have been AWOL for a while. I have been concentrating on preparing for my practical exam in my remedial massage course. Thankfully I passed with flying colours.

LL - loved your post. It brought a tear to my eye. I am so glad your experience had such a positive effect on you. Sometimes Massive Action is needed, I agree.

Not much fabbing going on here but am now sitting typing this with a face mask on!! I am almost finished my Liz Earle cleanser and only intended to use it up and then start on the Oil Cleansing method - so will need to go back and re-read all the posts about that (hope I can find them). Any tips on uisng the OCM? Can you use essential oils in the oil too?

I am feeling very frumpy today - having a bit of a fat and ugly attack right now. I met a former pupil of mine this morning and I felt ashamed at how I looked (to be fair, I was just out of the gym, but nontheless) and I have put on about 5 stone since I last taught him. Am getting my hair recloloured this afternoon and then I think I will have a hand & nail session to cheer me up. In the meantime...off to do the ironing! Allie x