sister doesnt want her child HELP!!

nats3006

totally agree you have to take the childs best interests in mind. it has already affected him enough i dont want her hanging round and messing him up even more!! we have told her that she cant decide in 10 years time that she wants him back or 5 or however many years it takes her to realise what she has done and she said she knows hse doesnt want him and never will which yes it hurts me so much to see my nephew wondering why his mum doesnt love him but he knows who does and doesnt love him he is just a bit mixed up!!
thanks again for all replys
nats
xxxx

Morglin

You don't have to accept any help that Social Services may offer you, but they should be notified that he is living with your mum.

They should not give you any greif, and you should find they are supportive of the lad being offered a home where he is wanted.

Lin

Bossyboots

nats3006 wrote:

in regards to you saying you cant do it if you have somebody else's child for more than 28 days i was just reading a post off dlb and she said she did it all between the family not social services involved.

The rules are set out here http://www.lbhf.gov.uk/Directory/Health_and_Social_Care/Fostering_adopting_and_looked_after_children/Fostering/66621_Private_fostering.asp

dlb

Hiya again, have just read the link above, but cant understand as i have never told social services, and csa and child benifit fully aware of the situation as are school,doctors,health visitors ect.
Maybe i am in the wrong for not informing them, but what diference will it make if i do? He has been with me 8 and a half years now and cant see in my position it will make any difference.
In answer to the poster who asked how i can have a good relationship with my sister, i still wanted ds2(nephew) to be a part of her life,and she was only 17 at the time and in a big mess with drugs, and i hoped she would change, which she has, she is now living in Wales with her long term partner of 7 years and they have had a son together, this was hard for me to accept but she told me she couldnt never take her first son away from me after all the hard work and love we showed him and that she truly belived he is better off with me.We speak daily on the phone and i keep her up to date as to what all my children are up too, she doesnt treat her son any different to my children which i am pleased about.
Please let us know how you get on and i wish you all the best.

summerday

Nats,

Just wanted to say you sound like an angel for trying to sort all this out and having to worry about everyone else. Even though you are the younger sister its obvious who is the more adult. Make sure that you are looking after yourself with young children of your own too

You are doing the right thing in trying to keep a good relationship with your sister, being civil makes things easier for everyone, and it sounds as if no one is going to change her mind right now anyway. Who knows a year or so of being without her son may make her see her mistake and she may do the growing up she badly needs to do.

If her son can be looked after your mum (ie someone he already knows well and is family to him )that is by far the best solution). Having regular contact with you his auntie and his cousins will be important too.

Just to repeat what others have said about your mum and the anti d's, don't worry, that won't stop her being able to have him.

Best wishes and take care, sarah x

arthur_dent_2

I knew a lady once who was in a very similar situstion and you will be glad to know that in the end she(The grandparent) was granted custody and the grandson lived with her untill she passed away.

Good luck, I hope all goes well for you your mum and of course your nephew.

allIcouldwishfor

I like the phrase "What goes around, comes around". It has got me through several sticky moments when I've had to deal with particularly selfish people in my own family. I hope you, your mum and your nephew can draw strength from each other to get you all through this. My heart goes out to you all.

nats3006

Bossyboots wrote:

The rules are set out here http://www.lbhf.gov.uk/Directory/Health_and_Social_Care/Fostering_adopting_and_looked_after_children/Fostering/66621_Private_fostering.asp

yeah but if you read it says unless u are the parent or a close relative which i dont think we could get any closer to him maybe im reading it wrong but thats the way i see it??
thanks to all that have replied really kind of you all will defo let you know how it all goes on and keep you all updated!
thanks again
nats
x

nats3006

saraht wrote:

Nats,

Just wanted to say you sound like an angel for trying to sort all this out and having to worry about everyone else. Even though you are the younger sister its obvious who is the more adult. Make sure that you are looking after yourself with young children of your own too

awww thanks but i have to help out he is my nephew and i do love him alot and wouldnt let him go in care!!! i think i have always been more grown up than her to be honest she has never really been grown up! and yeah am looking after myself and my kids too!! nice of you to ask
thanks
nats
xx

dlb

How are you doing Nats3006??
Hope you are ok.
Thinking of you.