sister doesnt want her child HELP!!

Bossyboots

If you look after someone else's child for more than 28 days in a row, you have to inform social services.

There are also the pure practicalities as they will need to be able to deal with the school and medical issues.

If social services are happy with the situation, the grandmother is going to have to apply for a residence order at the very least but could look into the question of a special guardianship order as well. If social services are supportive of this, it may even be possible to get them to pay the legal fees to consult a solicitor.

Chrismojam

So sorry to hear about your poor nephew......

Like others have said, speak to Social Services to see what help they can offer....they won't rush in and take him away....so don't worry there...

When I worked in Social Services for various childrens teams (children with disabilities/looked after/'troubled' kids etc).....quite a few were with there grandparents or other relatives as 'de-facto' foster parents...presumably the de-facto bit means family...don't know?

And as for your mum being on anti-depressants...I very much doubt that would be a problem at all......I remember one mum who had I think it was six kids...one with serious disabilities (caused by her drug/alcohol use while pregnant..), was pregnant with another....and lived with a schedule 1 offender (that's usually someone who can be violent/abusive etc etc ).......and social services didn't take the kids off her....admittedly, they were on the at risk register....

I know people (yourself included) will be very angry with your sister (and her ex) for shirking there responsibilities with regards to their son.........but quite frankly, if the little lad can be brought up in a loving home.....being cared for by people who do actually care....that can only be a good thing...how the poor mite must be feeling I don't know.....he must have been on the receiving end already of her resentment.....not understandable to us....never mind a littel kid:mad:

If she intends to turn her back on him..........doe she intend to turn her back on you and your mum as well? She can't just expect to turn up as and when and upset him all over again....

As someone else said, maybe she's depressed...and in need of help/counselling....but I'd say that's a more long term thing....

Hope things are sorted out for him;)

Chrismojam

duplicate post

ekkygirl

Your mum needs to get a residency order. She should get social services involved as they will be able to advise her how to do everything she could get financial benefit by possibly fostering her grandson, as it is better for her to keep him than for social services to try to find foster parents for him. PM me if you have any questions

nats3006

she is thinking of moving away abroad so no she wont be in and out of his life she just wants her new life and to re start her life. i honestly cannot see her point of view as i am 20 and have got 2 children myself on my own i would love to go out all the time and things but my kids are everything to me and i am glad she has said now before it gets any worse. he always wants to be with my mum he knows his mum doesnt like him but when his dad does see him he is a good dad but not that good he doesnt want him full time which being a parent is the main responsibility.
thanks again and again i cannot thank you enough for your help.
Nats
xx

Rachie_B

poor boy

what a horrible situation for him to be in

Yes definitely get in touch with social services and go from there.

Let us know what happens

xx

crispeater

nats i have no advice as i think everyone has covered it all.
i just wanted to wish you and your family all the best and goodluck

xxxx

sonee2405

good luck to you and your nephew maybe this new start will give him love that he deserves and a better future.Some women don't deserve to be mothers but they get the chance whilst those who want children may not get the chance so easily-i hope one day that your sister realises
what a priceless and precious chance she gave up-the chance to prove that there is nothing as important as the bond between mother &child.Maybe she didn't deserve the opportunity.

saxy1

God, what an awful situation. I made the decision years ago that i wouldnt have kids, i didnt think i would be a great mother, but it hasnt been easy. I am now with a great partner and he would have made a wonderful dad, but as i am nearly forty i feel its a bit late now. i just wish more women had the courage to admit they are not cut out for motherhood, unfortunately a lot a of people just expect you to have kids from the minute you get married.

No real advice, but i wish you and your family all the best.

skintas_2

i suffer from depression bad, and i have a social worker, mine offered me respite care in the summer holidays as i thought i wouldnt be able to cope with them. i didnt accept it, i had my kids, so i look after them, i got out the house took them out, take them awya abroad with me. i usffered sevre post natal and various things in my life have effected me. my kids are my life.my mum would do anyhting to have my kids, as hers have all grown up now, no way. if they stay with her i stay too, as i know she wants them..... good luck i ope everything sorts its way out......... why cant she take her son abroad with her, or is it she has a man over there he will get in the way!