sister doesnt want her child HELP!!

bright_side

dlb......one of lifes angels xxxx

Elljay_2

mae wrote:

dlb I filled up when I read your post you should be very proud of yourself and he is one lucky boy. Well done you. x

So did I. Just goes to show that every cloud.....Well done and good luck Nats. Your nephew will need lots and lots of love.

nats3006

cant believe how many replies i have had i really cant express how much it all means to me and thanks to those who have also shared their stories! if anyone knows how i would go about getting him well my mum getting him without social services involved please could you let me know
many thanks again
nats
x

Bossyboots

nats3006 wrote:

cant believe how many replies i have had i really cant express how much it all means to me and thanks to those who have also shared their stories! if anyone knows how i would go about getting him well my mum getting him without social services involved please could you let me know
many thanks again
nats
x

You can't. You are legally obliged to inform social services when you are caring for a child that is not yours for a continuous period of 28 days or more.

The best option would be for your mum to apply for a residence order while your sister is still around and for her to agree to it. However, I would be willing to bet that the court then appoints a reporting officer to investigate and eventually it will trickle back to the social services who may even be asked by the court to do a report in any event. By doing this while your sister is around to consent though will save a lot of problems.

allIcouldwishfor

I don't have anything to add to everybody else's helpful advice but i just wanted to say this thread has moved me to tears. I wish you and your family the best of luck. I hope everything works out for you. Keep us updated, won't you.

nats3006

yes i will do many thanks for all your replies. my mum wants to get him to be hers properly! in regards to you saying you cant do it if you have somebody else's child for more than 28 days i was just reading a post off dlb and she said she did it all between the family not social services involved. she is going to live abroad on monday she is getting a flight to cyprus or greece bearing in mind she has no money at all!! at the minute im really angry with her as i heard her on the phone to her so called boyfriend last night and she said to him that she just wanted to live her life and do what SHE wanted and didnt want nobody holding her back because she is at that point in her life i thought yeah what about me any my mum i have 2 kids and am only 20 and am on my own but i still want my kids i mean who doesnt wish they could turn the clock back and wait a few more years to have kids but whats done is done you cant just dump your kids well im saying you cant you can but there is no way on earth i could do that to my children. if anyone was to meet her she is one of the most selfish people walking for instance my mum had her ovary removed and they thought it was cancerous and her doctor told her that she had cancer you know what my sister's reply was to that oh well everybody dies!! yeah true but that is your mum she made you give her some respect good heavens! god only knows why she is being like this with her own son!!
thanks again for your replys!
nats
x

dlb

I would contact your health visitor, as i said in my post and in my pm my ds2 (nephew) has lived with me since being 18 months old he will be 10 in june and we never ever had social services involved.
If you fear your sister will come and want him back one day you will have to get a residency order, but i was lucky in that i knew my sister would never want him back and she promised me she never would take him back.
You do get very attached very quickly,i feared i would treat him different to my 2 children i already had, but no he is now my son, not in the eyes of the law but in my heart and nothing or no one can take that away.
Now he knows the truth i did ask him if he would want to go to live with my sister if she ever wanted him back and he said no even though he loves her as an auntie he made me promise he would never have to leave us.
Get in touch with you health visitor, mine was wonderful, helped us sort out transfering child benifit ect.
I will say though without doing it offically you may have problems in the future regarding passports ect, as i still have a good relationship with my sister we have no problem as she applys for the passport for him so we can go abroad together.
Good luck my thought are with you, you will get through this, Donnaxxx

tiff

Can I just ask a question, how can you still have a good relationship with your sister when she didnt want her child? I'm just surprised that it's possible, because I dont think I could. I havent been in that situation though.

nats3006

i could never forgive my sister for ever leaving her child but at the end of the day if she doesnt want her child what can you do cant make her want him so we just have to have him then he wont feel the hurt if your ever in that situation then you will know!!
i dont love my sister anymore but she is my sister and i wouldnt want anything bad to happen to her if u know what i mean!
thanks

Broken_hearted

If she doesn't want the child I'm sure he will be better off with you and his gran. Not all women are able to cope emotionaly with being mothers. My mother had very bad PND and couldn't cope so I spent a lot of time with my grandparents. I am nearly 28 and still havn't bonded with my mother, but I worship my dad and nana. As long as the child has someone there who loves and looks after them, they don't necesseraly need their natural mother.