sister doesnt want her child HELP!!

nats3006

well as i already said in title my sister has now decided after 5 and a half years she no longer wants her son i know she is the worst mother that could ever walk the planet doing that to her child she just feels that she cant and doesnt love him and she blames his father as she was with him for 7 years and he never beat her just kept her from going out all the time and basically just made her life hell her words not mine! she has now decided that she no longer wants anything to do with him, he see's his dad every sunday and he isnt very reliable always turning up late if he turns up at all and she rang him yesterday and said she doesnt want him anymore and the dad said neither does he so its a case were my mum has said she would look after him she is 44 and is on anti depressants due to the way that my sister has treated her the past year but she is very capable of looking after him as she has done for the past year but my sister living with them. i was just wondering because both of his parents agree to this how would she go about getting him legally and be his guardian.
sorry for the long post and before anyone tells me how bad she is i already know and she really wont listen to a word anybody says she really doesnt like her son and she has already disappeared a few times abroad over the past year and stayed for months at a time without even a thought for her son.
any advice would be greatly appreciated
thanks in advance
nats
xx

looby75

what a difficult situation to be in, some women really aren't cut out to be mothers

I think that it might be a very good idea for you and your mum to have a word with social services to see if they can offer any help. It doesn't mean that your nephew will end up in care but they will be able to offer support and advice.

Good luck to you and your family.

Quackers

nats3006 wrote:

.
sorry for the long post and before anyone tells me how bad she is i already know and she really wont listen to a word anybody says she really doesnt like her son and she has already disappeared a few times abroad over the past year and stayed for months at a time without even a thought for her son.
any advice would be greatly appreciated
thanks in advance
nats
xx

Hi Nats,

I have no advice legally but just wanted to say that it sounds like your Sis is depresed maybe?

Has she considered seeing her GP or a counsellor?

Maybe she needs some support too - I know you may see her as bad but at least she is being honest about her feelings and admitting how she feels. Bottling it up & continuing to look after her son badly would only cause more problems in the long run.

Good luck with whatever happens

Quackers xx

Rikki

It sounds like your Mum is the main carer already. It is better for the child to have a stable home life and continuity which he is getting from your Mum. I say he is better of there if she is happy to have him.

Quackers

looby75 wrote:

what a difficult situation to be in, some women really aren't cut out to be mothers

Its really sad isn't it. And you are so right - some people are just not natural parents and obviously its too late before they realise that they dont want to do it or cannot cope.

I admire her in a way for saying out loud that she doesn't want him. I know its really sad but maybe a fresh start with people who are ging to give him the love and support he needs will be better in the long run. And better now that 5 years down the line?

nats3006

thanks alot for the replys so quickly yes she has seen the doctor etc etc she knows exactly what she wants from her life and we have explained she cannot walk in and out of his life and in 10 years time when she has grown up more (she is 23 by the way) she cant decide she wants him again and has said she doesnt want to see him she doesnt want him at all no matter what she has said that she despices him and doesnt want anything to do with him at all there is no getting through she has said she made her mind up and isnt for going back on it. my mum and myself of course are worried that if she gets in touch with social services they will take him off her because she is on anti depressants and i would have him as i am not on any depressants etc etc but the only problem is i have got a 2 year old and an 11 week old but i will be taking him to school and picking him up as my mum and her partner work full time and i dont.
really puzzled as to what to do first?!!!???
thanks again
nats
x

djdido2

hi nats

My sisters kids have lived with my mum since they were babies, they are now nearly 15 and 16 and they are brilliant kids. Situation a bit different to your sister as my sisters kids were taken off her but they have been loved and looked after and they have grown into really good girls. If my mother had not have stepped in at the time they would more than likely have gone into foster care.

Your sister does sound depressed and its easy to get into that mode of thought when you have been treated badly and your ex partner is not there to support his/her child.

Are you in a position to help your mum out??.

hobo28

I'm both sad and angry.

Sad for such a sorry situation. I feel so sorry for the poor boy who's been brought into this world and angry at the two f*****ts who were too stupid to use contraception.

Yes great, both "parents" can lead the single lifestyle now with no responsibilities and I suppose they can easily forget the poor boy who will grow up wondering what he did wrong that neither parents could love him.

I admire her courage for speaking out but to be honest its too late.

Sorry just saw the post on her age. I was 23 too when I had my first so age is no excuse. I suppose at least now he has a chance of getting some love and proper care. A small consolation I suppose

nats3006

thanks very much for the replys so true about the contraception thing. i will help my mum all i can but cannot possibly take full time care of him which my mum is willing to do but does not know if they will let her have him.
thanks again
nat xx

looby75

nats3006 wrote:

my mum and myself of course are worried that if she gets in touch with social services they will take him off her because she is on anti depressants and i would have him as i am not on any depressants etc etc but the only problem is i have got a 2 year old and an 11 week old but i will be taking him to school and picking him up as my mum and her partner work full time and i dont.
really puzzled as to what to do first?!!!???
thanks again
nats
x

Please don't let that put you off asking for help, there are 1000's and 1000's of parents up and down the country who are on antidepressants and who have their kids or grandkids in their care. Social services will not take your nephew off your mum just because she has had a lot on her plate over the last year and needs a medication to help her cope for the time being. From what you have posted it's no wonder your mum has ended up on antidepressants, and social services will take that into account when offering support to your mum.

A close friend of mine has just been awarded a special guardianship order for her grandson after her daughter decided she no longer wanted her son (he was only a few months old at that time) she had a history of selfharm in the past and is also on antidepressants due to the stress her daughter has caused her since in the last 18 months. None of this caused problems, social services say it's completely understandable and were happy that she saw the warning signs and got help when she needed it.

nats3006

thanks ever so much for that information if anybody has any more advice please please post
thanks alot
nats
xxxx