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How to handle the "why are you still single?" question.

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Comments

  • 'Not met anyone I liked enough yet'

    'It's bad form to shag the drummer'

    'Nope. Are you still married - to him? [wrinkle nose in disgust] Whatever for?'
    I could dream to wide extremes, I could do or die: I could yawn and be withdrawn and watch the world go by.
    colinw wrote: »
    Yup you are officially Rock n Roll :D
  • "Fine, fine. So, do you have a boyfriend?"

    Me: " No actually, I'm single at the moment."

    "ARE YOU? Why?"

    Cue embarrassment.

    If it's someone you don't like:

    "Why are you still fat / smelly / annoying / bossy / coffin-dodging?"

    If it's someone you do like - elderly aunts, mothers of friends, etc:

    "Why not? I'm having a great time. How's Jane / Jane's dog / Jane's cousin's husband / your roses?"

    If it's a mate you can be a bit more direct with:

    "Leave off! That question doesn't half get dull"
    ...much enquiry having been made concerning a gentleman, who had quitted a company where Johnson was, and no information being obtained; at last Johnson observed, that 'he did not care to speak ill of any man behind his back, but he believed the gentleman was an attorney'.
  • trolleyrun
    trolleyrun Posts: 1,382 Forumite
    A simple answer that seems to stop nosey people in their quest for private information:

    "I haven't found anyone who deserves me yet" Said with a big smile.

    A lot of people just don't have a social filter, especially when they're in a relationship. They can't understand that it's OK to be single. In fact, being single is great! No-one to answer to, the whole bed to yourself, not being woken up with "something" poking in your back, the list is endless.

    Please don't ever say that "nobody wants me" or similar. It's simply not true. Try to get in the habit of not putting yourself down. And don't forget - they're being rude by prying into your private life. You are justified to be a bit rude back to them, although not stooping to their level makes you a winner.
  • 'I'm waiting for Brad to divorce Angelina'

    "

    you'd probaly look a bit of a tit when they tell you that Brad and Angelina aren't married.
  • Peater
    Peater Posts: 521 Forumite
    Popular classics of mine:

    'I'm a horrible human being'

    'I haven't felt the need to validate my existence to society yet'

    'I'm not terrified of my own company and as such haven't desperatley clung onto the first person who showed me an ounce of affection. So, how's the marriage?'
  • If anyone asks me something personal that I don't wish to answer, I actually say with a laugh
    "that's a bit personal, isn't it?" It isn't rude, the laugh implies that you aren't offended but don't want to proceed in that direction.

    I'm a nurse, due to my role I see the same patients each week. They feel like they know me but I have no wish to divulge any details of my private life with them. I often have to avoid personal questions politely and this way has never caused any offence.

    Obviously if I did want to cause offence I would say
    "actually I'm seeing someone but they're married" and go on to describe the person asking the questions partner.
  • tell them , you've watcahed your friends/ school friends etc marry total loosers, and thus dont want to dive into the 1st man that asks you and end up with the same miserable life :)......altho I would only use this if they don't know your friends.
  • BugglyB
    BugglyB Posts: 1,067 Forumite
    edited 20 December 2011 at 9:48AM
    I thought we were keeping that a secret... ;)



    That is the truth, I guess. I have friends who aren't single but they and their partners are miserable. Also I don't do casual sex or casual relationships so I tend to prefer having very few but long term relationships over racking up lots of numbers just so I can say I'm dating.

    I suppose part of it is that I don't want to lie or be rude, but sometimes it really upsets me. By nature I am a private person. I only discuss my personal life with very few people. I don't want to be psychoanalysed in the middle of a busy shopping centre by Jenny from the school hockey team's mum.

    Oh please hon whatever you do don't allow it to upset you.

    Just remember to yourself its not about you its about them. Their insecurities or rudeness or self doubt. Like another poster said, if you were in a relationship, they wouldn't leave you alone, it'd be 'when are you getting married' 'still in the same job?' 'not pregnant yet?' then later in life 'no grandchildren then?' it never ends with these people.

    I'm going to disagree with the others who say to say something clever - although they are funny! - chances are those people will go round to others saying 'thinks shes too good for a boyfriend' or whatever else they can infer or twist your words to mean. Plus, it doesn't sound like you're that kind of person anyway. I'd go with the above - 'thats very personal isn't it?' or simply 'I'm afraid my love life just isn't that interesting'.

    Just seen the bit about your ex's mother 'grilling you', seriously, if you feel its gone past polite interest, draw yourself up to full height, take a deep breath and say 'thats a bit rude isnt it? I'd never ask you something so personal about your life.'
  • If you want them to stop asking questions just tell them you lost them in a car accident / fire / bull running / etc, incident a few weeks ago. Or that you prefer animals, and give them a smile and wink that leaves them wondering if you prefer the company of animals of the 'company' (nudge nudge wink wink) of animals.
  • fixx
    fixx Posts: 792 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 500 Posts
    Some fantastic responses on here, so many I'm going to steal for future reference

    My usual (and completely honest!) response:
    "I haven't yet found one man worth giving up the rest of them for :)"

    And if they seem concerned, I'm quite happy to share the reasons why I'm very happy with my life as it curently is - as a lot of people seem to think I must be miserable if I'm single... not a chance!

    If people think the only way to be happy is to be in a relationship (some people do seem to think *any* relationship is better than none) then that's their problem, not mine. I've got my own life to enjoy, I can't be bothered spending it worrying about their folly :D

    And I'll only ever accept a man who can enhance my life, not just because someone thinks it's a "non-optional social convention" ;)
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