How to handle the "why are you still single?" question.

miss_independent

Tropez wrote: »

You could try...

"I'm saving myself for this bloke from the internet called Tropez."

Then they'll just think you're a nut and never bother with that question again.

I thought we were keeping that a secret...

Gillyx wrote: »

"I've not met the right person and I'd rather be on my own that with the wrong person"

If they feel the need to ask more questions after that I'd change the subject or try to escape pretty sharpish. You're in your 20's FGS, I thought more and more people nowadays didn't settle down until later?

I've had the opposite problem of people asking me "why would you chose to settle down so young" :eek: what the hell do you say to that?

That is the truth, I guess. I have friends who aren't single but they and their partners are miserable. Also I don't do casual sex or casual relationships so I tend to prefer having very few but long term relationships over racking up lots of numbers just so I can say I'm dating.

I suppose part of it is that I don't want to lie or be rude, but sometimes it really upsets me. By nature I am a private person. I only discuss my personal life with very few people. I don't want to be psychoanalysed in the middle of a busy shopping centre by Jenny from the school hockey team's mum.

Sambucus_Nigra

miss_independent wrote: »

Apologies if this seems daft but at this time of year I seem to bump into a lot of people I haven't sen for years and one question keeps cropping up and always leaves me flustered. I was hoping some of you wise MSEers would have some advice. The scenario is as follows, I bump into an old schoolfriend's mother or an ex work colleague or a distant relation and, genuinely, the conversation seems to go;

"Hello there, I haven't seen you for ages. How are you doing?"

Me: "Very well, thank you. And you?"

"Fine, fine. So, do you have a boyfriend?"

Me: " [STRIKE]No actually, I'm single at the moment.[/STRIKE]"

You - any or all of the following:
Oh rats, I knew there was something I forgot to do this year
I wasn't aware I needed one
What on earth would I want one of them for?
No, why have you got one you don't want?
No, have you had a facelift?
Maybe, maybe not - why do you want to know?
Yes, I have but he's currently under the patio
WAAAAA - NO I'm SO Sad and Single *rolleyes

Don't ever say 'No, Actually I'm single at the moment' - it just lends itself to the 'why not' question.

miss_independent

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

You - any or all of the following:
Oh rats, I knew there was something I forgot to do this year
I wasn't aware I needed one
What on earth would I want one of them for?
No, why have you got one you don't want?
No, have you had a facelift?
Maybe, maybe not - why do you want to know?
Yes, I have but he's currently under the patio
WAAAAA - NO I'm SO Sad and Single *rolleyes

Don't ever say 'No, Actually I'm single at the moment' - it just lends itself to the 'why not' question.

I LOVE "No, have you had a facelift!" :rotfl:

Gillyx

miss_independent wrote: »

That is the truth, I guess. I have friends who aren't single but they and their partners are miserable. Also I don't do casual sex or casual relationships so I tend to prefer having very few but long term relationships over racking up lots of numbers just so I can say I'm dating.

I suppose part of it is that I don't want to lie or be rude, but sometimes it really upsets me. By nature I am a private person. I only discuss my personal life with very few people. I don't want to be psychoanalysed in the middle of a busy shopping centre by Jenny from the school hockey team's mum.

Nothing wrong with that, it takes a stronger person to chose to be alone, than settle for second or even third best.

People are so nosey and rude these days. If your parents or close family members ever say you should reply with "would you rather I was in an unhappy relationship?"

If it so easy to find Mr Right, noone would be single.

As my Dad always used to say to me "there's plenty better fish in the sea, than what's ever came out of it"

slimsia

It is very annoying and I remember it well, but don't let it get you down, people don't know what else to say, it is just one of those conversational things, once you have a man, when you getting married? Once you do, its when you having kids?

I would be just light hearted and respond

"Why are you still single" If only I knew? (sad face optional)

or so many men so little time

Sure I'm far tooo young to settle down!

If you've any good looking men throw them my way

I've a couple of boys on the go, but nobody serious just yet


However when you considering having children question is seriously crossing the line for me, Depending how you feeling, I'd retort when you considering minding your own business, i can't believe you just asking me that, or if not seriously ticked off state well hold on I'd need to find a man first!

Good Luck

miss_independent

Gillyx wrote: »

Nothing wrong with that, it takes a stronger person to chose to be alone, than settle for second or even third best.

People are so nosey and rude these days. If your parents or close family members ever say you should reply with "would you rather I was in an unhappy relationship?"

If it so easy to find Mr Right, noone would be single.

As my Dad always used to say to me "there's plenty better fish in the sea, than what's ever came out of it"

Yes, I think a friend once said to me that often these people just can't comprehend that you would rather be on your own for a while than go out with someone who makes you miserable out of fear of being alone. She said to look on it more like they find my circumstances intriguing and slightly alien to them.


As a question to all, would it be rude of me to say, "if you don't mind, I'd rather not discuss my personal life." when these kind of people start to pry further? I hate being rude to people!

splishsplash

Hmm, I think I would answer thusly:

Q. 'Do you have a boyfriend?'
A. 'No! Do you, or is it still the same ol' same ol'?

Q. 'Are you STILL single?'
A. 'WHy, are you hitting on me?'

Q. 'Do you have a boyfriend?'
A. *Screeches with laughter* 'OH MY GOD, what are you like asking such a question? You should be on stage - you're KILLING me!!!!' *gasps for air dramatically clutching sides, tears streaming down face*

Kira000

I generally used to just say that i hadnt found one i liked enough to want to keep yet....usually was cryptic enough not to illicit further questions but if they asked further, then depending on who the person was, either "not found one that is good enough" (works well on closer family), or just "takes a while to find the right one not just anyone". People cant usually argue with that.

elsien

I just used to say I'd got far more sense than to tie myself down to one bloke, however if they knew any rich old men who were about to kick the bucket I could hook up with I could be persuaded to change my mind.

elsien

miss_independent wrote: »

As a question to all, would it be rude of me to say, "if you don't mind, I'd rather not discuss my personal life." when these kind of people start to pry further? I hate being rude to people!

I don't think that's rude I think that's fine. Let's be honest, if they're asking questions that are too personal, they've got no right to get the hump when you point it out to them.