Huge debt shock from my 17 year old

KingElvis

I expect Inspector Knacker will be turning up sooner or later if your boy has been a drug runner, better to get it out in the open and have his collar felt now, this may teach him a harsh lesson but it may do him good.

Standingtall

Frazzled Mother, my heart goes out to you, really it does. I would agree with the above comment to find out who and what you are dealing with. A small time dealing opportunist or a major player. Then you can move forward. Tell your son if he wants help he has to tell you.

Do you have experience of drugs yourself, I ask because you need to know what to look for. Hopefully you are right in your belief that he is no longer indulging and this is often the case as people experiment, have fun and then move on. You cannot depend on what his friends say though as they can also be involved. School results, health, up all night and sleeping all day, appetite - all these can be indicators.

Have you thought quoting further dialogue with the school - the staff there often have a good knowledge of local crooks as they are frequently family 'businesses'.

My one concern is the packages he was couriering. You see, if he had been taking drugs, even of the recreational type, I feel it unlikely that he would have been able to resist opening them to see what was inside and then ....

Anyway, I hope some of the advice I have given you is practical and remember even if he is taking drugs still the it is not the end of the world. I was of the 'rave' generation and I grew up and moved on after a couple of years. It's just unfortunate that your son has got into debt over them adm with such unsavoury scum.

Good luck, I shall be thinking of you and hoping for the best.

lika_86

Just a two thoughts.

1. You say your son owes his dealer £500 - is this actually through money borrowed (as others seem to have assumed) or is it through non-payment for drugs? Two very different things in terms of who you deal with next.

2. There is no guarantee that if you pay off the dealer that he won't just decide to ask/threaten for more once he sees that your son has a supply of money from somewhere to pay him with. This isn't a bank or a proper credit institution with records. There is no guarantee that payment will be the end of the matter.

maidincornwall

Paying the drug dealer off will not work, a freind was in a similar situation and the dealer kept coming back for more and more even though she had paid more than what was owed.

suki1001

jude47 wrote: »

Erm........has anyone read my post? The Illegal Money Lending Team will take action against this dealer, do not need personal details of the OP or her son, and will bring in the police to take care of the drug dealing side of his 'business'. I've worked very closely with this team over a period of time and can tell you, they have rid entire neighbourhoods of loan sharks, drug dealers and 'pawn brokers', all of whom make life a misery for others. The last case I have info for, the team broke down the dealer's door, took away 'loan books' recording income in excess of £100,000, collected over £80,000 in cash in black bin liners and the police arrested the bloke for drug dealing. He was shaking and in tears as they led him to the van as he apparently has agoraphobia. Sympathy for him? Erm, NO!!

I think although there is some other well meaning advice, this is the one to follow. Clearly it is a problem for many people, which is why such a team exists.

It doesn't sound to me like your son is an addict, which is a different kettle of fish to using drugs (not every drug user is an addict). I would also contact a local drug support group and see what advice they can offer in regards to your son, but also for yourselves. They will be very aware of behaviour of bigger dealers.

I really feel for you op and your son, he is clearly terrified. The main thing is it's out in the open and while heartbreaking for you as soon as you know a plan of action this will make you feel better. Good luck with it all.

pauletruth

sadly it looks like your son is an addict or very close to being one. you need to sort that problem urgently. there are plenty of groups that will help him if he wants help. if he is not prepared to tell you the truth then he need to leave home. if he hides behind your love he will get a lot worse. by being involved in the supply of drugs he is looking at a long stretch in prison. owing so much to the dealer and his friends indicates that he is using quite large amounts.

Vikipollard

This isnt illegal money lending. The scum sucking pondlife is chasing your son for money for the drugs he has given him last year/this year.

Even if you (and I presume this will physically mean your son, not you personally) gives him the money, this type of crap will just try to sell him more. Or require other errands run.

Phone the police. Get their advice. If this waster is a small fish, they will likely already know him, and if he's part of a bigger OCG, then they will definitely know him. If you do that, may be they'll allow a meet to 'pay him off', where they do a sting to arrest both. Worst case scenario, then your son is arrested. Is that a bad thing if it shocks him into being an adult?

The circle won't be broken unless you get the people who can take this scum off the streets involved.

Personally, I'd stick 'em in a large container stood on a pile of egyptian soil and flambe them, but enough of my fantasies...

jamespir

frazzledmother wrote: »

Thanks for your words and wisdom and support. My thoughts are that:

we don't know this dealer, and cannot get son (at the moment) to tell us (although he has let slip a couple of clues)

we pay this scum off and then work on son to get more info, so we can tell the police and the illegal money-lender operation that Jude has mentioned

son is not an addict. believe me. he is a stupid 17 year old who made some really bad decisions some time ago, that have allowed this scum to become part of his life and forced him into a crappy position

after it came out we emptied his room, every single bit of it, every cd case, everything he owns, to look for drugs or equipment. there was nothing. but I can honestly say it was one of the worst evenings of my life.

we also spoke to his closest friends who've been trying to help in their own teenage ways and what they told us supports his story 100%

we've told his school too and they've offered counselling and support.

we are furious with him, and sad, and upset. he does understand what a terrible position he's put us in and did say the other night that he was considering running away to spare us.

he will pay us back, in time, for the moment we need to sort it out. we'll probably talk to our DMP people - it's just very embarrassing.

thanks

DONT pay the dealer anything concentrate on paying the freinds just dob the dealer into the police

other wise your funding crime and letting the dealer get away with the way hes treated your son

jamespir

midnight_express wrote: »

Before involving the police it is worth remembering that the son has been involved in criminal activity and could end up with a criminal record.

unfortunatly he has and he has to accept resposibility for that

paying off the dealer is only gonna make things worse

Hiddenidenity

jamespir wrote: »

DONT pay the dealer anything concentrate on paying the freinds just dob the dealer into the police

other wise your funding crime and letting the dealer get away with the way hes treated your son

Her son took the drugs and didnt pay for them. The dealer WILL get his money/revenge. I've been there, I've seen it. Her son isn't innocent in all of this. Not easy for her no, but he is wrong as she has admitted.