Huge debt shock from my 17 year old

frazzledmother

I am a fairly regular poster and a regular lurker but I'm not usuing my usual name here. We've just had a horrible horrible shock and I just need to get it off my chest.

My son has been really quite down and stressed and depressed for a while. We thought it was school. Earlier this year we found out he was doing drugs, dope pretty much every day and some other things occasionally. We had the big chats and stayed calm and he agreed to stop doing it. He did, pretty much totally as far as we could tell, all the symptoms and signs had gone. The other night we overheard a conversation he was having on the phone in his room, it seemed to be someone asking for money. We queried it and he was hysterical, sobbing and totally broke down. First of all he told us he owes a drug dealer over £500 from the end of last year / beginning of this year. He then went into a story of how this dealer has basically given him the 'opportunity' to clear his debts by taking parcels here and there, but that the debt never got clear and instead got bigger. He then had started borrowing money from friends to clear the debt and using them to pay each other off. He then eventually admitted that he owes £1500 to his friends.....

We are just distraught. He wont tell us any details of the dealer as he's scared of him. He's in bits but is relieved its out in the open.

We obviously have to pay off the debts to his friends and then get the money back off him bit by bit. The other debt we just don't know what to do about.

This is just a nightmare for us. We're on a DMP, we have only pennies left each month. We're basically gonna have to borrow from family to pay this off.

There's probably no advice to give but I just needed to get it out there. And to say to other parents to be on your guard.

RAS

So his ex-dealer is using the debt to pull him into dealing as well?

You need to speak to your DMP provider and explain the pickle (son has £1500 outstanding from previous drug problem). They can then reduce your DMP or halt payments until you get this sorted.

The priority is paying off the dealer rather than the friends, otherwise the debt will leave him vulnerabkle to exploitation again.

What does your son have that he can sell? Anything?

dzug1

Won't the DMP provider suggest that he dobs the drug dealer in? I doubt they'd want to get involved in illegalities

jude47

Hi Frazzled

RAS is, as always, bang on about speaking to your DMP provider (hopefully one of the free ones!). Other than sending you bigs hugs, the only practical advice I can offer is that you speak, in confidence, to the national Illegal Money Lending Team on 0300 555 2222. You can, anonymously, give them details of this drug dealer, who is clearly also illegally 'lending' money to vulnerable people like your son. The Team can then take action against this person and put a stop to ALL his activities in partnership with the Police and other local agencies. They can ensure your anonymity or, if you choose to give your name, they can, if necessary, provide protection and ongoing support to you and your family. Please, please report this guy, he needs to be stopped.

J x

frazzledmother

Yes even though it makes me physically sick to admit it, the dealer has managed to pull him into his world. This is just horrific. Our son does have enough money in savings (that we hold the access to) to pay off the dealer - this is what we want to do first. But we don't know whether he'll just come back for more.

Son also has PS3, two old mobiles, ipod, laptop etc. All of these are being sold. Together with all his dvds, cds, PS games etc.

Its so embarrassing and hurtful. The money thing is a terrible shock but its more about the lies and the world he was being pulled into.

robpw2

im sorry but you need to call the police paying the dealer will not solve the issue , he will just keep preying on vulenerable people

elisebutt65

robpw2 wrote: »

im sorry but you need to call the police paying the dealer will not solve the issue , he will just keep preying on vulenerable people

Why has no-opne elses suggested calling the police - that was the first thing that came to mind!!! Dealer is also acting as a loan shark from the sounds of it - See here for help:
http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/MoneyTaxAndBenefits/ManagingDebt/DebtsAndArrears/DG_10035958

RAS

Sorry. but please be very careful about the dealer.

Locally one mother who told the police who had provided the drugs she found in her son looking after in her house and said so publicly was gang-raped and her son beaten to a pulp. He was in intensive care for a long time with brain damage. I assume he survived because i have not seen any report of his death but I do not know what state he is in now.

And this ain't London or any of the biggest baddest cities.

robpw2

RAS wrote: »

Sorry. but please be very careful about the dealer.

Locally one mother who told the police who had provided the drugs she found in her son looking after in her house and said so publicly was gang-raped and her son beaten to a pulp. He was in intensive care for a long time with brain damage. I assume he survived because i have not seen any report of his death but I do not know what state he is in now.

And this ain't London or any of the biggest baddest cities.

whilst i am aware there may be dangers to advising the police the biggest issue will be that the debt will never go away once he knows where he can get hold of the money

eldestofthree

well yes , in an ideal world calling the police - good idea , but unfortunately when you are in the middle of something like this the view appears completely different. RAZ is right , pay the guy off , get him out of the picture as much as possible. Then the friends , then if you and your son feel strong and brave enough consider informing the police , although I suspect this guy will be no stranger to them anyway.
I send all my positive vibes , stay strong and as calm as possible.

FireWyrm

Personally....I wouldnt pay this scum dealer a penny. I'd shop is thieving backside to the police. The son...I dont know what to do about him, but it would involve at least being grounded until he grew up. The bottom line is that he's involved in crime essentially, so, he's going to have to fess up sooner or later. God knows what was in those parcels...drugs, laundered money, you name it.

If you give in to this drug dealer, he'll be back. I guarantee you. Your only option is to shop him and then move. That's all there is to it. Does you son understand what he's done? Does he even give a damn? If he were mine, I'd be beside myself with rage at his treachery to the family in placing them in this situation and obvious danger. Now, you're going to have to get his stupid backside out of the hole he's dug for you all. Urgh! I can completely understand how you feel. I'd be more than furious.