The New Me And Our Quest To Become Debt Free And Have Self Belief

needmoney

moonlightpjs

Hi everyone

Well its all done and dusted - long conversations, lots of tears, lots of apologies, lots of anger - well, lots of everything. My Dad is disgusted with my Mum, my Mum says she is disgusted withe herself (?) and she is very sorry. My Dad has written me a cheque out for all the money I gave Mum though am still in two minds wether to cash it or not - he says we need the money with 2 children and he will get it back off my Mum. He can't believe shes done what she has - he says he doesnt know her anymore. She said she jealous of me, being happy with my hubby and children but she admits it got out of control - she thought that be contacting SS I would give in to her wishes and not keep the children from her. Her debt didn't come out but I told her as I left that she has to tell him and neither did the "other" things - just what she had done and said to me.

She knew when we walked in the door what was going to happen and especially when Dad asked where the kids were. Andy had to say most of it as I couldn't bring myself to talk, I was afraid that we could somehow ruin their marriage and after 37 years together that would be hard for me to do but Dad was angry and played holy hell with my mum and couldn't even understand why she would contact SS when my children were obviously not abused in anyway or neglected but only cared for and loved beyound belief. he said they had better jobs to do helping children who really needed serious help, not our children. She said it was out of desperation as I had finally stood up to her but Dad said I should have done it sooner. He knew to some extent the way my mum controlled me but obvioulsy not as much as she did. He says she is just like her mother.

I Think this is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.

We took copies of all the e-mails and letters and Dad was crying when he read them.

I can't write anymore as I feel utterly drained but Mum and Dad were speaking when we left and when Dad showed us out he came to the car and told me not to worry aboout them - they would sort themselves out.

So thats all for tonight, see you all again tomorrow

Sea78

Oh hon

Thank you for letting us know what happened! Well done, I know that you probably feel completely emotionally and physically drained. I can't advise on what to do with the cheque, only you can decide (however, given current situation I know what I would do as it would ease things).

I am pleased she'd admitted she was wronf - that must give you some relief. And to have the support of your dad too.

You've been really brave.

Sea xxx

elantan

weller...you have me crying again.....wow you really are a strong woman...i'm so pleased you spoke to your dad...i woould put the cheaque in the bank you gave your mum the money ...it is yours...it will help your wonderful family....

ZTD

weller711 wrote:

Hi everyone

Well its all done and dusted - long conversations, lots of tears, lots of apologies, lots of anger - well, lots of everything. My Dad is disgusted with my Mum, my Mum says she is disgusted withe herself (?) and she is very sorry.

Well done for going through with such a difficult situation. It will have been dreadful.

weller711 wrote:

He says she is just like her mother.

That's interesting. It seems the cycle of "like mother, like daughter" has been broken with you.

weller711 wrote:

I Think this is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.

Undoubtedly. Probably the most unpleasant too.

weller711 wrote:

We took copies of all the e-mails and letters and Dad was crying when he read them.

That's is a real shame, he sounds like a good man, but it was better than to leave him in a shroud of lies.

weller711 wrote:

So thats all for tonight, see you all again tomorrow

Take care and have a good night's sleep.

Emmzi

Weller,

I am so proud of you. And your dad. I really hope you can help each other.

I'd let your dad work out how they are financially, then discuss the cheque with him in a week or so, when he may be closer to knowing the whole picture.

And make sure he gets some special 'Sam time'!

Sleep well. You deserve it.

Huge hugs.

xx

MinnieSpender

Lisa

Well done on finding the strength to do what you did tonight.

The worst is over, it's all out in the open and you can finally start to work on healing yourself.

All the best
Mins x

Snaggles

Weller, what a day you have had......I'm so glad you managed to speak to them both about it, and that some good seems to have come from it. I'm not surprised you feel drained, you deserve a good long rest. What a good man your husband is too. Even though I don't know you, I feel so proud of you.

tesuhoha

Well that was something that had to be done and it will all turn out for the best in the end. Things couldnt go on the way they were. Maybe one day you will find it in your heart to forgive your mother but you will never forget. Its strange but sometimes men are the only people to sort out a situation like this between two women. They seem to be able to see the situation more clearly and this seems to be one of those times. So you left it up to your husband and he did you proud and now you have to rely on your dad to make things right. Dont worry anymore. Everything will be fine.

AnW'sMum

Well done weller, like everyone else has said we are so proud of you. You have faced the toughest test I hope you ever have to face and you have got through it. You have a hubby and dad to be very proud of.

As regards the money, yes it is yours as you gave it to your mum initially. If you don't feel that you can take it all back at once perhaps you could work out a repayment plan that both you and your dad are comfortable with.

Well done once again and thanks for letting us know.