The New Me And Our Quest To Become Debt Free And Have Self Belief

AnW'sMum

Weller

I agree totally with what snaggles says, you are the victor in all of this, though I doubt it feels like that at the moment.

Hang on to the strength you have gained since you decided enough is enough. You are doing what any loving parent would do and that is protecting your family. With your hubby at your side you can't fail to win.

When you go to meet your father make sure you only take copies of any letters your mum sent so that you still have them if needed again in the future. I can imagine this is going to be one of the toughest days ever but just take it an hour or minute at a time, you WILL get through it.

mandymoo

Morning Weller,

We are all so proud of you and remember tonight we will all be with you and Andy (hope your dads got enough tea and milk in ) but on a serious note please remember you have so much and she has nothing, all her own doing nobody else`s , my thoughts are with your dad as well and this is going to be a shock for him and it will take time for it to sink in. Best of luck and have a good chat with your CPN . Sometimes things do happen for a reason and out of this horrible situation your mum has actually made you a Very Strong Person (for which she did`nt antisipate (sp) )
Love and Hugs mandymoo xxx

Nelle_2

gottabstrong wrote:

i really feel for you . my eldest son was 18 yesterday and this morning i had to borrow some of his birthday money to pay for food. i feel at my lowest ebb and after 19 years of debt and struggling to deal with it without telling my husband, the events of this morning (coupled with the realisation that my son is more of an adult that I am) have seriously made me plan to tell my husband.
my son sent me this text ..." you are a great mum. at the end of the day what is a bit of money compared to me to helping my mum" - i feel so proud of him and cant believe that me and my husband have raised such a fine young man.
i was only 16 when he was born and times have been hard.
so the reason i write back is to say that your little boy sounds like he will grow up to be a lovely young man who is very proud of his mum.
after spending an hour in tears this morning in sainsburys car park (!) I have come on MSE to ask for advice - I saw your thread first though and I am so glad I did...
a big hug from someone who has been there x x x

I have just read your message and would urge you to tell your husband as soon as possible.

I have just confessed to my partner after struggling to pay credit card debts for the last five years resulting in me using cards to pay the minimum payments each month.

He has been so supportive and it is pure relief not to have to worry on my own anymore and enable me to get my head out of the sand and do something about it. I am also content in the knowledge that he truly loves me despite my financial failings.

Your son is a star and at the end of the day family and love are far more important than numbers on pieces of paper.

Good luck for the future

girltuesday_2

your mum has played her final card and its failed. in a way its good she has. you dont have to fear social services now. they obviously are very happy with what the CPN told them.
she has nothing left to blackmail you with.

That's exactly what I was going to say!

You've proved that you are a wonderful mum - not only to us(!), but clearly to your CPN and others. Social Services have no interest in taking children away from good, capable parents!

Your mum, on the other hand, is not a wonderful mum. Quite the opposite. And as hard as it will be, it's right that she is going to get her comeuppance.

I'll be thinking of you tonight, and of your dad - I'm sure it will be horrible for him, but at the same time it's better he knows the truth.

Good luck, stay strong.

xx

Spendless

Hi weller

Just in case your mum persists in bugging SS have you told your CPN about the letter/e-mails she has been sending you?

plumduff-2

Hi Weller... Good luck with the meeting... You have been backed into a corner by your Mum on this one and as such your Dad needs to know..

I think your Mum probably does love you... she just doesnt show it how 'normal' people would... She is trying to control your life... which is sad, cos she obviously feels her own life is pretty crappy...

You dont owe her anything, for her bringing you up... it was her choice to bring you into this world.. Ive never before heard a mother saying that you have to pay an income to them for them bringing you up... and the letter... wow...! She is showing her true colours and trying to manipulate you...

I understand you have a CPN, Im sorry if this sounds insulting - but im not surprised... being brought up with theis influence... telling you how crap you are... constantly putting you and your efforts down... et etc.... would leave even the strongest minded off us with mental health issues... Perhaps now you are distancing yourself from her, your mental health will improve.. as you will start to realise what a worthwhile job you are doing... what a loving and caring wife and mother you are... that you are strong minded for having to put up with this rubbish for X years... You are a truely inspirational person...

Good luck wth you quest for peace and harmony in your life.. I really believe you will find it....! Love and hugs.. xxxxxx

Claudie

Good luck today Weller. And I have to agree with some of the others - sit and have a good chat with your CPN and explain to her what your Mum has been doing and if needs be, show her the post you have been receiving.

You have come a long way - remember to stay strong.

You have been doing brilliantly - you can't change your Mum, she is responsible for her behaviour and she is an adult. What she does is her choice and is no reflection on you.

It sounds like you are really good at putting pen to paper. Perhaps you could write a nice letter to your Dad explaining that you love him but at this time in your life you need to focus on your own family and you won't be able to see him or your Mum while you are putting all your time into your own children.

If things do get heated or you can't say what you want to say tonight, then at least your Dad will have that. I wouldn't say anything in the letter about your Mum - just leave your Dad with a positive reminder that you love him but you need to be with your own husband and children for the near future. You won't have any reason then to have to go back.

Thinking of you....

misspoppy

HI Lisa

I'm sorry your mum did this to you but in a way its a good thing, its proven to you that you are a good Mum and you have the support of your cpn and SS arent going to even give you a visit.

I think its a great idea to tell your Dad everything but neutral ground would be best. This is about you and your Dad you don't want your mother to but in. Good luck tonight.

mrsn_2

I have been a member here for a while, but never post, but today I feel compelled to.

I just wanted to wish Lisa and Andy all the best for tonight. You sound like a wonderful mother, with a beautiful family and a loving, supportive husband.

Will be thinking of you.

Best Wishes
Karen

bobbadog

Popping in with a Valentines Day hug for you guys, and to wish you all the best for tonight. Be strong, you know there's a lot of us thinking of you!! xx