Is my brother being cheeky?

[Deleted User]

I am absolutely amazed that so many people say "forget it". It was a loan, not a gift - He's borrowed it and should pay it back. He's not hungry or homeless and apparently wants to have a good time at your expense - he was quick enough to 'borrow'. I would tell him that you're a bit strapped for cash as it's an expensive month and ask when will he be able to repay the money?

cuba2008

Totally agree with Peater - what's with all the suggestions that you should "ask" your brother for the money. It's your money and you need it. Just tell him that, before he goes off on his expensive jaunt, you want your money back - don't give him the chance to fob you off. £500 is a lot of money and he's already let you down by not even starting to pay it off. I don't believe anyone can forget they owe someone that much money and if he can afford to save thousands for his up-coming trip, he can afford to dip into it and pay what he owes. It might be worth pointing out to him that, because of his failure to pay up, if he's ever in financial straits again, you certainly won't be reaching for your wallet to help him out.

hollieinbloom

lady1964 wrote: »

We lent my in-laws £500 a few years ago to help them with car repairs. OH told them there was no hurry to pay it back, just when they had it. They've never paid it back and it's now at the point I feel it's too late. They'd be horribly embarassed that they haven't paid it back and we'd be too embarassed to ask now. We're as much to blame as they are, although I do feel the onus is on them to offer it back, we shouldn't have to ask.

Get the money from your brother before it's too late to ask, cheeky sod should have paid it back as soon as he was able. I would also feel that I wouldn't lend him money again.

Ask them to borrow £500 and i'm sure they'd be quick to remember just act like you forgot too! x

purple.sarah

crazy_horse_uk wrote: »

I'm staggered at the (almost) unanimous response to this problem. Yes, he's taking the mickey, but no, don't ask for it back. There's no principle at stake here - if you couldn't afford it, you shouldn't have lent it, and if you could afford it why would you ask for it back? He's family - doesn't that mean anything?

chuk

It was a loan not a gift. And circumstances change, especially round Christmas! Family doesn't mean they can walk all over you and it obviously doesn't mean much to him!

florere

You kindly lent him money, he should have paid it back as soon as he had saved it. He is taking advantage of you, and you will not be doing him any favours by letting him think that debts do not have to be paid.

floydpink

find his passport and hold it to ransome.....£500

pollypenny

Has he been spoiled over the years?

Sounds like if he can waltz out of a job at this time, with no thought f paying what is a substantial sum.

Ask him for it.

stevied73

Talent wrote: »

Don't lend what you can't afford to lose is the first law of personal finance. If you don't need it, don't ask for it back, don't even drop hints. Just drive it out of your mind. He will never ask for money again. You'll be off the hook.

I would have thought that if he isn't asked for it back, he is more likely to ask again, not less.

If his current personal situation was such that he was unable to pay it back, your initial comment would be valid, and the OP would have to chalk this down to experience.

However, we know that the brother can afford to repay. If he clearly understood the payment as a loan, then not to repay is disrespectful to a family member.

If commercial lenders took your approach towards people who 'forgot' to repay, credit for the rest of us would be extremely expensive! So what, you might say, but how would we buy our houses...?

euronorris

What was originally agreed with regards to paying it back? Was a timescale set, or was it just 'pay it back as and when, there's no rush.'? If the latter, then the brother may view that as there is no rush to pay it back, and he's been having a hard time lately, that you won't mind waiting until he's back from his travels.

So, if you aren't happy with that, tell him and discuss when you expect the money back and if instalments is OK or not etc. Iron out the details and set amounts and dates. No margin for confusion or misunderstanding then.

Though, if I could afford to not have it repaid, I think I'd just tell him not to worry about it and put it down to helping my brother out in a time of need. And, in future, make sure the details are all clear and agreed upfront.

19lottie82

Erm, have you actually asked for it back, at all? If no, then I don’t see what your problem is, so far.

Of course he should have offered to pay it back by now, but he hasn’t and some people are just like that when it comes to money.

Just ask him outright for the cash that he owes you. If he says no THEN start to worry.