Is my brother being cheeky?

milvusvestal

I assume from what you say that, although he disliked his job, your brother earned enough from it to pay for his intended backpacking holiday.

He needs to be brought down to earth, in my view. He can't just scrounge off his sibling, and then conveniently forget who helped him out. Make it clear to him that the £500 was a loan, not a gift, and that you expect repayment BEFORE he travels the globe.

Fujiko

Reading these responses I feel there is a lot to be said for being an only child! Neither a borrower lender be is not a bad philosophy, in or out of the family. If you can't afford it don't have it.

bengalknights

Definitly ask for it back or expect a all expenses tag along trip!

jess1974

crazy_horse_uk wrote: »

I'm staggered at the (almost) unanimous response to this problem. Yes, he's taking the mickey, but no, don't ask for it back. There's no principle at stake here - if you couldn't afford it, you shouldn't have lent it, and if you could afford it why would you ask for it back? He's family - doesn't that mean anything?

chuk

Are you having a laugh? Ever heard of the term 'freeloading' !!!

neverdespairgirl

Fujiko wrote: »

Reading these responses I feel there is a lot to be said for being an only child! Neither a borrower lender be is not a bad philosophy, in or out of the family. If you can't afford it don't have it.

On the other side, I've sometimes lent money to all 3 of my siblings (mostly on the "I don't have £10, can I borrow it until I get to a cashpoint" basis) and once I lent my sister £500 when her car was hit by someone unknown.

In every case, I've had it back very quickly indeed.

Voyager2002

He needs a reminder: and I don't even see this as a dilemma. Part of bringing him up is enabling him to appreciate the difference between a loan and a gift. Allowing him to keep the money would not be doing him any favours, since he would learn a lesson about the world that is both wrong and dangerous.

BobbinAlong

Ask him nicely "now you've earned loads can I have my money back" but preferably in front of a parent! Embarassment can be the best prompt and there'll be two of you to nag him!

Badger_Lady

I've been lending my sister money regularly for the last year or so... I'd estimate that she owes around £8,000 in total.

In the last couple of months, she's found some much better paid work and has started returning the favour, so now she's giving me the same amount I used to give her.

The brother should have enough responsibility to offer the money back in this way... if he doesn't then he needs to be educated.

Peadoff

Yes, you should definitely ask him for the money back before he goes away and spends it again.

He is obviously relying on your kindness/weakness and will not offer it unless you ask

Good luck

BitterAndTwisted

When family bail your sorry @rse out of the mire there is an absolute moral obligation to repay it as soon as you can. Regardless of whether the lender "could afford" it or not. I refuse to believe that a number so large and lent in such circumstances could be forgotten or overlooked. Therefore the brother is either a sorry excuse for a human being, believes that a blood-tie entitles one to receive privileges that other mortals don't or thinks erroneously that it was gift.

A kick up the jacksie should provide the answer.