Help please

CH27

con1888 wrote: »

Read the rest of that sentence you quoted.

I did.

Did you actually sit down & say to him I am applying for college & asking to reduce my hours at work?

con1888

dirtysexymonkey wrote: »

how would you expect to pay for the course if you hadnt a partner to emotionally blackmail into funding it?

and you are emotionally blackmailing him - 'if you dont pay more, im leaving you!'.

Well if I wasn't living with him then I would be at home paying money towards my parents and would afford to go to college.

Wether its emotional blackmail or not that's not what I am trying to do, maybe I will move out and we can still be together and can perhaps get a house together when I have finished college but I AM going to go to college and I CAN'T pay 50% so it is going to have to come to me moving out.


We spoke about it before but not actually working it out £for£ but we did work out that I would only be on around £750 and it was him who said we can % our wages.

con1888

CH27 wrote: »

I did.

Did you actually sit down & say to him I am applying for college & asking to reduce my hours at work?

Yeah I told him I had been accepted for college on the condition I drop a day at work to do my placement, he was all for it saying ' it will be better off in the long run'

I wish I knew what has caused the change in mind. Wether I have just caught him on a bad day or not I don't know. It's really getting to me though and he doesn't seem bothered atall.

dirtysexymonkey

con1888 wrote: »

Yeah I told him I had been accepted for college on the condition I drop a day at work to do my placement, he was all for it saying ' it will be better off in the long run'

I wish I knew what has caused the change in mind. Wether I have just caught him on a bad day or not I don't know. It's really getting to me though and he doesn't seem bothered atall.

and thats your problem. you told him, without consulting him. it affects him much more than it affects you, you know.

the arrogance of you! and then you try and blackmail him into doing what you want by saying youll leave him if you dont. and you still dont think youve done anything wrong.

dirtysexymonkey

con1888 wrote: »

Well if I wasn't living with him then I would be at home paying money towards my parents and would afford to go to college.

Wether its emotional blackmail or not that's not what I am trying to do, maybe I will move out and we can still be together and can perhaps get a house together when I have finished college but I AM going to go to college and I CAN'T pay 50% so it is going to have to come to me moving out.


We spoke about it before but not actually working it out £for£ but we did work out that I would only be on around £750 and it was him who said we can % our wages.

so youd be living off of your parents instead of supporting yourself.

you could pay 50% if you wanted to, but you dont think you should have to. you think your boyfriend should be forced to make the sacrificed to help you earn more - with no guarantee your going to stay as soon as youve bled him dry!

krlyr

Apologies, misred "under £100" as £100 spare but see from the figures that you don't. But to have money left over after the essentials is still better than many people manage. Once you've paid your essentials, you're sorted, you don't *need* spare cash, you just seem to want it. If you can't afford nights out, it's a sacrifice you have to make to allow for going back to college. Many people would have to save for years to afford to put themselves back into education. Quitting the gym may only save you £30 a month but it's £30 you don't have spare. Cut down 1 driving lesson a month, that's got to be about £25. Get a second job, do a few hours of barwork or waitressing in the evening or weekend, or get on something like peopleperhour and do some freelance work to earn some extra pennies.
You seem to feel your boyfriend owes you more, you have said in several posts that you don't feel you have to pay towards his mortgage because you don't get anything if you split, but you ARE getting an immediate benefit in the short-term, you have a roof over your head that you would have to pay several hundred pounds for anywhere else. I would hazard a guess that you are paying a lot less than than the 40% figure someone suggested in your relationship, overall.

esmerelda98

Is it necessary to do a 2 year college course to become a childminder in Scotland? I don't think that's the case in England. Maybe it's a good idea if you're not confident with children, but IMO, if you are looking to improve your prospects, I don't think becoming a childminder is the way to go, especially via this roundabout route. Don't forget that when you first start childminding the number of children you can take will be limited. I think your earnings from childminding will not be great for a while.

con1888

esmerelda98 wrote: »

Is it necessary to do a 2 year college course to become a childminder in Scotland? I don't think that's the case in England. Maybe it's a good idea if you're not confident with children, but IMO, if you are looking to improve your prospects, I don't think becoming a childminder is the way to go, especially via this roundabout route. Don't forget that when you first start childminding the number of children you can take will be limited. I think your earnings from childminding will not be great for a while.

its not no but i want options open in childcare field in general.








I think I am going to sleep on it and maybe try look at it again tomorrow on a clearer mind. I've been pretty down lately so maybe that isn't helping.

Caz3121

It is obvious from your budget and your expectations of what things cost that you would not be able to rent a room plus pay bills in shared place for less than you currently are complaining about so how much digs will you be paying your parents or will you be expecting them to support you?

ViolaLass

con1888 wrote: »

I think I am going to sleep on it and maybe try look at it again tomorrow on a clearer mind. I've been pretty down lately so maybe that isn't helping.

Good idea. I think you both need to sleep and calm down and then you can have another go at discussing it. Keep calm, don't lay blame anywhere, just discuss how you're going to deal with the situation as it now is.