christmas/new year when split with kids

ska_lover

The op is definatley being hard done by here. Shes only trying to find a conclusion to this situation.

OP, you are stronger than me. I honestly could not be in a relationship where xmas, new year, are completley off the menu and I was playing second fiddle to an ex and kids. In fact you are worse than second fiddle - you don't even exist on his spectrum of plans. You will have to sit on your own every xmas and new year while he is playing 'happy families' being all fake with his ex and kids. Yes they are precious memories etc but the kids wake up in the morning and its 'where is daddy'' ''oh he has gone back to his real life''. Christmas day is one thing, but new years eve, I have never heard of a man dashing around at midnight to ''see his kids''...seems massively strange/unusual to me. I can see where you are coming from 100% - I would kick this guy to the kerb and let him continue with his life of pretence.

He has not even attempted to include you in his xmas plans at all.
Does that smack of non commitment to you? I fear you are wasting your time. Get out there on NYE and find a man who is MENTALLY single.

ska_lover

candygirl wrote: »

I couldn't handle any partner of mine spending Xmas da,y and NYE with his ex:eek::eek:.The kids yep, but the ex no:D
A mate of mine lets her ex, who was a violent alchy, stay over on Xmas Eve and her Son (13) hates him staying:o
I don't think the facade of keeping up a happy family scenario is healthy for the kids in the long term, nor for the OP if she is going to have a successful relationship with him:D
Xmas is hard enough, even with people we want to be with:eek::eek: I can't imagine spending Xmas with any of my exes without murdering them:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

I totally agree. Why pretend it is all 'happy families'', it's just storing up future heartache- for the kids, for the ex when the kids get hurt, and for the OP as she is questioning his loyalties.