christmas/new year when split with kids

lostinrates

candygirl wrote: »

If they were happy why are they separated?I just feel it's not fair on the new partner, and also a bit misleading for the kids.If they see their parents getting on ok they might find it hard to understand why they are no longer together;)
It's just my opinion, I realise there are no rights and wrongs, just know I personally couldn't cope with it:D

My point is they can be a happy family in the new shape. Plenty of people remain amicable and happy to take shared pride and love in their children. My suggestion includes the new partners, and so makes it clear tht their family is not ho it used to be but tht doesn't men it can't be loving, supportive and friendly even where love is gone. edit: I should probably add my sister's father was also my babysitter and we all used to have family days..my mu, my sister, and ''the dads'' (my sister was a lot older though) and so I hve eperience of this as a child. a few friends and more friends of family have also had similar amicable and supportive ''modern'' extended families.

Rikki

When mine were little I had them for Christmas eve till Boxing day evening one year and then next Christmas they would be with their Dad.

The reason for this way was the children would open their presents, eat Christmas diner and without having time to play with their new toys they would be off to the other parent.

We just use to have a big roast diner and a day of present opening and fun. It doesn't have to be on Christmas day.

There is no way I would go to my ex's for Christmas morning or any other day for that matter.

candygirl

Rikki wrote: »

When mine were little I had them for Christmas eve till Boxing day evening one year and then next Christmas they would be with their Dad.

The reason for this way was the children would open their presents, eat Christmas diner and without having time to play with their new toys they would be off to the other parent.

We just use to have a big roast diner and a day of present opening and fun. It doesn't have to be on Christmas day.

There is no way I would go to my ex's for Christmas morning or any other day for that matter.

Me either !!:eek:There'd be a massacre:eek::eek::rotfl::rotfl:
I think the OP is worried that this will happen every year, and I totally get that.I'd hate to be apart from my OH on Xmas day:(:(

lostinrates

candygirl wrote: »

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Me either !!:eek:There'd be a massacre:eek::eek::rotfl::rotfl:
I think the OP is worried that this will happen every year, and I totally get that.I'd hate to be apart from my OH on Xmas day:(:(

I think being without a partner on any 'special day' is sad but not insurountble. If I had kids I'd REALLY want to spend it ith them though and hate being apart from them as much if not more.

candygirl

lostinrates wrote: »

I think being without a partner on any 'special day' is sad but not insurountble. If I had kids I'd REALLY want to spend it ith them though and hate being apart from them as much if not more.

mmm yea I understand what you mean, but also understand the OPs fears that she will never be able to spend Xmas with her partner, because he's with his ex:o

peachyprice

candygirl wrote: »

[/B]

mmm yea I understand what you mean, but also understand the OPs fears that she will never be able to spend Xmas with her partner, because he's with his ex:o

But the children won't be children forever.

candygirl

peachyprice wrote: »

But the children won't be children forever.

True, but it doesn't solve the immediate problem IYSWIM:D

lostinrates

candygirl wrote: »

True, but it doesn't solve the immediate problem IYSWIM:D

If the family cn't be more amicable I ould suggest lunch with children/respctive families or even with one partner alone , and supper together. New Year I' suggest family appropriate nuetral venue... restaurant for example.

VfM4meplse

peachyprice wrote: »

But the children won't be children forever.

And men come and go too...and most of the time you're better off when they've gone. Will this relationship extend beyond the childhood, esp if this situation becomes an even greater sticking point?

thrifty-gal26

My OH and his ex take it in turns every year. One has xmas day, one has boxing day. Their son gets two xmas', one with them, one with us. We have been together for 6 years but this has been in place since we got togther when his son was 2.

Not to sound harsh but I think all this "christmas is all about the kids" is a load of rubbish. Christmas is for friends, family, partners and who ever is special in your life. And if you can't spend the actual Christmas day with someone, what is wrong with the 27th?

I think there is too much pressure and stress around Christmas!

OP, I would just ask your BF is you can spend Christmas together and he see the kids on boxing day. If he says no, ask him if you can spend boxing day together instead. I wouldn't worry too much about the future for now and just take each xmas as it comes.

In the grand scheme of things xmas day is just one day. Who ever your BF spends it with there are loads of other days to celebrate with you or his kids. You can have fun and be together no matter what the date.