Because I'm bl**dy well worth it!

Souk08

I do see where you're coming from KM but for me, I go out with mates and have a good life but I have needs! and I dont meet men on a day to day basis who met those needs so I use the internet. Id much rather not have to make the effort but its a fact that I dont meet gorgeous men on a daily basis who say' Please may I come back to your uber tidy gaff and mess up your ironed sheets!!!' It's my choice not to go without as I enjoy it so i do what I have to do!

Knitting_Nora

Souk08 wrote: »

I do see where you're coming from KM but for me, I go out with mates and have a good life but I have needs! and I dont meet men on a day to day basis who met those needs so I use the internet. Id much rather not have to make the effort but its a fact that I dont meet gorgeous men on a daily basis who say' Please may I come back to your uber tidy gaff and mess up your ironed sheets!!!' It's my choice not to go without as I enjoy it so i do what I have to do!

Sounds like a brilliant way to approach life - and on your own terms, which is really what we're all about around here isn't it? I haven't had the courage myself yet (give me time!), but have friends who've met such wonderful people via online sites, and some who've gone on to marry or live with their partners.

These days we seem pretty isolated, so it stands to reason that we should consider using technology - often the very thing which allows us to be so isolated - to help reconnect us to others.

More power to your clicky finger Souk!:D

Nora.x

Keeping_Motivated

Souk08 wrote: »

I do see where you're coming from KM but for me, I go out with mates and have a good life but I have needs! and I dont meet men on a day to day basis who met those needs so I use the internet. Id much rather not have to make the effort but its a fact that I dont meet gorgeous men on a daily basis who say' Please may I come back to your uber tidy gaff and mess up your ironed sheets!!!' It's my choice not to go without as I enjoy it so i do what I have to do!

And if you didn't live your life like this then you would be unhappy...so you're 'choosing' to be happy without letting those P's of mine or 'shoulds' get in the way :T:T

Keeping_Motivated

Knitting_Nora wrote: »

These days we seem pretty isolated, so it stands to reason that we should consider using technology - often the very thing which allows us to be so isolated - to help reconnect us to others.



Nora.x

This makes a lot of sense. I use technology to help most of my life function. I love it but yet like you say it can isolate us...however it can be used to connect socially if we choose to

Souk08

Sorry Hypno for hijack! Today I NEED to buy stuff from the sales so I'll away!

Lula-Hula

Hello Hypno & all,

been reading with interest . Like KM & DT I'm also keen to make some new friends during the next year. Due to being single, parent & also poor for the last few years, I've not really ventured beyond the few I have.

One is very close & life long but lives hundreds of miles away so we rarely meet up - probably best actually, as we were trouble with a capital T . Others are more local, but all have OHs so we are in different situations.

I have tried the online dating thing & it was certainly an eye opener, didn't meet anyone that interested me, but it was fun ! I'm not looking to meet anyone permanent at the moment, but do need to broaden my local social life & I'm going to try 'meetups'. I joined a group specifically for single parents but DD was horrified & refuses to attend & all the other children seem to be a lot younger so I'll be looking for other groups.

I was always very sociable & it's really only in the last 5 years that I've retreated, but with DD growing up I'm very aware that I have to get out there & meet people ... or get more cats & some stout walking shoes :rotfl:

ZTD

Lula-Hula wrote: »

Hello Hypno & all,

:hello:

Lula-Hula wrote: »

been reading with interest . Like KM & DT I'm also keen to make some new friends during the next year.

I think I'll do a "Me too." here...

Lula-Hula wrote: »

Due to being single, parent & also poor for the last few years, I've not really ventured beyond the few I have.

Well I'm not a parent, but have had other troubles to deal with, so the outcome has ended up the same.

Lula-Hula wrote: »

One is very close & life long but lives hundreds of miles away so we rarely meet up - probably best actually, as we were trouble with a capital T . Others are more local, but all have OHs so we are in different situations.

I only have long-distant friends. The local ones drifted away when I was with the XOH.

Lula-Hula wrote: »

I have tried the online dating thing & it was certainly an eye opener, didn't meet anyone that interested me, but it was fun ! I'm not looking to meet anyone permanent at the moment, but do need to broaden my local social life & I'm going to try 'meetups'.

I'm on the look out for all sociality. Though on my scorecard so far is probably a "Must try harder."

Lula-Hula wrote: »

I was always very sociable & it's really only in the last 5 years that I've retreated,

I've never been very gregarious, and strangely I'm probably better now than I've ever been. Half the problem is that I don't actually like the nightclubs and the pounding music, instead preferring that "good food and conversation thing".

And of course every time I've been to Newcastle socially, there's been fighting/blood and snots (neither mine, nor caused by me) which does put you off after a while...

Lula-Hula wrote: »

but with DD growing up I'm very aware that I have to get out there & meet people ... or get more cats & some stout walking shoes :rotfl:

Now this does raise the question, is that for cat walking, or cat kicking? Inquiring minds need to know...

Double_Trouble

Wow this friend discussion is really interesting.

Of course I do have OH who I would not swop for anything

I also have a few friends from college who are the bestest ever but we have a geographical problem and one of them my bestest friend is a workaholic so time is short but he is also a playaholic too so is always fun when we do get together :beer:

I also have friends locally but they are church friends and much older than me so although I know they are always there for me they are not the come down to the pub go to the cinema type of friends that I really could do with. I know that sort of friendship takes work and I have been slacking so 2012 is the year I try to make time to make new friends - I also think because I have young children I am a bit out of kilter with women my age as their children tend to have flown the nest so if there is anyone out there that wants a friend in North Wales I am available :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: - OK hijack over

DTxx

hypno06

Wow, lots of thought there!

First of all, I have to say that there is nothing "wrong" with online dating....and as was said on here earlier, I have made friends with people on MSE, who I have met in real life, and so why would it be any different. I just don't want to do that at this point in time.

Also, I'm not looking for a new husband, or someone to move in. That couldn't be further from what I want, to be honest. I was using it as an example as much as anything to show that when we see what other people have, it is not always as simple as thinking they have it all when they may be looking at you and thinking exactly the same thing!

I have to say that Souk has been an amazing inspiration for me on the whole "social" thing. And I cannot thank her enough for her honesty and enabling me to see things from a slightly different viewpoint than the one I had for the previous 25 years. :T:T:T

Knitting Nora - you are right - doing things on your own terms is the way forward. This is something that I have learned over the last few months. Accepting that it is alright to do it this way is an incredibly empowering thing! Not just in terms of "relationships" but in so many situations.

Which leads me on to KM's note that she would want the guy to make the first move. Well, yes, that would be nice, but I think I would be in a very different place if I ever waited for that to happen. I have some very lovely people that I have developed friendships with over the last year or so that I have made the first move with. Again, I would never have thought that would be the case before. Although, when I think about it, it was me who proposed to XOH all those squillion years ago, so perhaps the confidence has always been there, it has just been surpressed for a few years :rotfl:

Moving on to money confessions......I have just bought some beautiful Indian Ocean patio furniture.....ex display and discontinued, so very reasonably priced. Developing my "space" obviously has to include my patio and my balcony as they are my only outdoor space, and I am very excited about this. Last year I did look at doing this, but didn't, and made do with my one argos sunlounger and chair with the broken arm that traps my skin every time I get up This year, I will be drinking my G&T in style. I will look for a super duper bbq to finish it off and work out re-doing my pots in the springtime :cool:

Lula-Hula

hypno06 wrote: »

Wow, lots of thought there!

This year, I will be drinking my G&T in style. I will look for a super duper bbq to finish it off and work out re-doing my pots in the springtime :cool:

*puts Hypno at the top of "people to make friends with" list

xx