Neighbour finds our christmas lights "annoying"...

Padstow

pedantic wrote: »

I would put more lights up,obviously this person is a killjoy,let's face it,they will only be up for about 4weeks,this person needs to get a life.

That's the quickest way to alienate your neighbour. As for saying she "should get a life." I'm surprised you didn't also add that she should "grow up." Doubly trite, "grow up and get a life.":rotfl:

The lady is in her sixties and had company in the form of lodgers until recently. She may now be feeling very lonely, and dreading Christmas this year. Sometimes a snappy remark is made when we've had a bad day. For all any of us know, she may be bitterly regretting having said it at all. But as for putting up more lights?

The way I would tackle it is the same as victory suggested. Namely, go over and view it as she does. Have a cup of tea while you're there and get her on your side.
If you think it looks ok, make apologetic noises, and say you'll turn them off at 9pm. I would have thought the lights were a distraction for your boy to be able to sleep anyway.

I don't only think that a good neighbour is worth gold, I think a present neighbour is worth far more than what might move in, in the future.

OP, do you know whether this lady will be entirely alone for Christmas? Goodwill to all Men and all that.

Bumpmakesfour

Person_one wrote: »

Honestly OP, I think the sleep disorder is a bit of a red herring. Being awake does not mean you need christmas lights on! If he was an insomniac and was awake till 3am would that mean it was ok to keep the lights on till 3am?

6-9pm seems reasonable to me.

I never stated that due to his sleep disorder he NEEDED or HAD to have the lights on!!I was answering the people who told me the kids must be asleep by 10pm...by telling them that actually no my kids are not all asleep by 10pm.
And FYI at least 5 nights out of 7 my DS IS awake at 3am,I would never suggest keeping them on till that late.The 6-10pm thing was us attempting to hand DS some control over the changes he finds so hard and I don't see why I'm having to justify that tbh.
I'm not using as an excuse or a red herring,infact it'd be easier for him if we didn't have lights on at all BUT we have two other children to consider too so the turning them on gradually,giving him a time frame etc makes it easier for everyone to be that bit happier.

Bumpmakesfour

Padstow wrote: »

OP, do you know whether this lady will be entirely alone for Christmas? Goodwill to all Men and all that.

No she won't be alone.She has four grown up children and many grand kids and spends christmas eve/day and boxing day at her eldest sons xx

Bumpmakesfour

aliasojo wrote: »

For those that have outdoor lights and decs, where do you plug them in?

We had them at our old place but we had several outdoor sockets installed from front to back so it was no hassle.

I see some wires going in windows in houses here, surely people don't leave their windows open 24/7? That would make for a breezy Xmas. :undecided

Ours plug into the garage power points via an extension that fits under the doors.One year DH posted an extension through the front door letter box..very draughty!!

NickyBat

Padstow wrote: »

That's the quickest way to alienate your neighbour. As for saying she "should get a life." I'm surprised you didn't also add that she should "grow up." Doubly trite, "grow up and get a life.":rotfl:

The lady is in her sixties and had company in the form of lodgers until recently. She may now be feeling very lonely, and dreading Christmas this year. Sometimes a snappy remark is made when we've had a bad day. For all any of us know, she may be bitterly regretting having said it at all. But as for putting up more lights?

The way I would tackle it is the same as victory suggested. Namely, go over and view it as she does. Have a cup of tea while you're there and get her on your side.
If you think it looks ok, make apologetic noises, and say you'll turn them off at 9pm. I would have thought the lights were a distraction for your boy to be able to sleep anyway.

I don't only think that a good neighbour is worth gold, I think a present neighbour is worth far more than what might move in, in the future.

OP, do you know whether this lady will be entirely alone for Christmas? Goodwill to all Men and all that.

Her circumstances are irrelevant, the OP is paying the bill for them, it's not like they are on all night long, she has children and that's what Christmas is all about........children not some other person who doesn't like them, by complaining what did she expect the the OP to do?

I am all for keeping the peace with the neighbours but in this instance i think the the neighbour is being unreasonable, at the end of the day they are up for a few weeks and what happened to live and let live.

gozaimasu

seriousDFW wrote: »

I have to say I disagree with people on here who say you should do as you like and she should just shut her curtains.

What has happened to people being considerate of other people?

I agree with you, but consideration is a TWO way thing. I have a neighbour who complained we were making too much noise (exercising) and it was inconveniencing them because they had kids.

Out of consideration for them, we stopped participating in our lifestyle choice to accommodate theirs (their kids).

But do they ever make any attempt to stop the kids from running around and screaming and disturbing other people? No. Where is their consideration? Therefore, why should I ever be considerate for them ever again?

All this causes is resentment. Any time their kids scream etc I will make as much noise as possible to block out their wailing and stomping around. If they ever complain to me again I will tell them to go to the Council/Police and I will also provide the Council with a log book of dates and time when their kids have been causing a nuisance.

I cannot wait for the day when I can move to a detached house in the middle of nowhere, but sadly that day is a long way off unless I win the lottery.

tomjonesrules

Bumpmakesfour wrote: »

Ok here's the front of the house.Will get a full pic 2mro night.So..is it majorly OTT??

One word - common. Those people that walk past and you think 'enjoy' them? They're laughing at how tacky you are.

RadoJo

Bumpmakesfour wrote: »

I totally understand.We have put up with early morning opera doorstep cleaning missions,her three yappy dogs barking and barking for hours on end in the garden.We've not complained about not being able to get our babies to sleep because her latest lodger is fixing his car on the road just under the bedroom window with his techno blaring out at ten/eleven pm whilst she hands him cups of tea knowing we have young kids upstairs.We only ever asked very politely twice to access/leave our drive when her sons car was left parked across it.We drop in a xmas card each year and the kids gave her some chocs last year.So she has shown little or no consideration towards us but STILL we feel bad about putting a few lights on our own house!I'll sleep on it but honestly feel she's just moaning for the sake of moaning:o

The thing is though, if you've chosen not to complain about any of these things, then you can't really use that as an excuse not to listen to her complaint about your lights. For all you know, she might be blissfully unaware that she's bothered you in the past and believe that she has been the perfect neighbour and thus is completely justified in pointing out the fact that your lights are annoying her. If you wanted her to modify her behaviour so she didn't disturb you, then you could have done so at the time, but it's a little late to bring up past misdemeanours now to retaliate against her complaint. She has no idea that you have a tally of things that you consider more of an imposition than your Christmas lights, so it's unlikely that she is taking any of them into consideration.

Padstow

adamantine wrote: »

i am surprised by the people saying or implying the OP or anyone else decorating the outside of their house are selfish by not considering the neighbours. IMO i think the neighours are inconsiderate and selfish by not considering other people before they moan and look down their noses at those that do decorate.

i think the majority of people say they like decorating or looking at decorated houses. some people like it some people dont. its not an all year round occurance. as stated before live and let live.

I'd rather put up with lights for a few weeks, not here though, as we are totally dark, no street lights, but a trampoline as OP say's she has would drive me mad.
The constant boom boom boom, is worse than any music as it's just a base note all the time.

RadoJo

gozaimasu wrote: »

I agree with you, but consideration is a TWO way thing. I have a neighbour who complained we were making too much noise (exercising) and it was inconveniencing them because they had kids.

Out of consideration for them, we stopped participating in our lifestyle choice to accommodate theirs (their kids).

But do they ever make any attempt to stop the kids from running around and screaming and disturbing other people? No. Where is their consideration? Therefore, why should I ever be considerate for them ever again?

All this causes is resentment. Any time their kids scream etc I will make as much noise as possible to block out their wailing and stomping around. If they ever complain to me again I will tell them to go to the Council/Police and I will also provide the Council with a log book of dates and time when their kids have been causing a nuisance.

I cannot wait for the day when I can move to a detached house in the middle of nowhere, but sadly that day is a long way off unless I win the lottery.

Have you actually asked them to try to keep their kids quiet? It's not clear from your post.